I am looking for suggestions on how to deal with my 15 year old daughter, sophmore, when it comes to get her up and moving in the morning. She sets her alarm (very loud) but sleeps right through it every morning. I go in and wake her up at 6:30a.m. and make sure she's on her feet before I leave the room. Infailably, she gets back in bed and falls asleep. I waker her again at 6:45a.m. by either yelling upstairs, asking her 10yr old sister to go wake her, or calling her on her cell phone. Sometimes she gets up, but most of the time it takes a 3rd or 4th try before she finally gets going. Because of this ritual, we are almost always running late. I am hoping that someone has some suggestions of how I can get her to become more responsible for getting herself moving in the morning and not making everyone suffer for her procrastination. It is frustrating for me, but I wonder how she will deal with college or a job when I'm not there to hound on her every morning. Ugh!
Let her oversleep and suffer the consequences. Tell her you'll wake her up once and that's it and don't worry about it. Let her be responsible for getting herself up, tell her you're leaving without out her. Sounds tough, but I seem to recall my parents doing that to me. Didn't miss my bus to school, but I did miss breakfast and ran out the door without any makeup on or my hear curled. From then on, I got up when my alarm went off.
Perhaps she is stressed and needs more sleep? An incentive to get up? A gorilla in her room? Kidding! I remember sleeping very late when I was her age. But usually it was on the weekends. Is she getting enough sleep at night? Going to bed too late? Perhaps she is drinking caffinated soda to late in the day and is unable to sleep. Yikes, besides getting up earlier then you already are to start the waking up process, I am not sure.
It is easy to see which of you is stressing out about this. I bet she wanders blissfully through the morning and life knowing that you are there to take responsibility. Not fair, really. Like the first post said, let her wear the consequences, it WILL fix it. Mind you, it won't be pretty, LOL.
As another poster said, let her suffer the consequences. When I was growing up I had an alarm and my parents told me it was my responsibilty to get up. If I overslept no one woke me and if I missed the bus my parents made me pay them to take me to school for their time and gas. I learned how to get up on time real quick! Place the responsbility on her and make her deal with the consequences instead of stressing yourself out.
Check the sleep disorders board for my post on Sleep Hygiene. Also is you daughter fatigue throughout the day? Does she snore, have raspy breathing, or gurgle/choke in her sleep? My brother and husband were like your daughter. They both had sleep apnea.
Best of luck to you finding the answer. I had sleep apnea, but it manifested insomnia instead of the dead sleeping you are discribing.. I lived on at most 4 hours sleep a day for many years.
If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.
Thanks to everyone. I guess I know that I need to put the repsonsibility on her and let her suffer the consequences. I am just afraid that she really doesn't hear the alarm. I think I am going to give her my husband's "Big Ben" alarm clock (loud as can be) and tell her she's on her own in the morning. She does have ADHD and takes Adderall XL which causes her to have difficulty falling asleep some nights, however, she does drink Mt. Dew in the evenings. I will definitely make the caffeine off limits after school and see if that plus the new alarm does the trick. I'll let everyone know how it goes.
Just so you know, sleeping disorders, ranging from not too big a deal, to a really big deal, are the hardest diagnosed in teens like your daughter. Teenagers range from hardly ever sleeping to sleeping all day! And, in a way, that's normal. So, when something like this happens, we assume that that is just how he or she is. When, in fact, it could be something more!
So, I would have some tests done just to make sure that nothing is wrong before you decide that she's just being lazy and taking extreme measures. Granted, she could be just lazy, but there really COULD be a problem there. Plus, as I have learned throughout the course of the many illnesses I suffer with, it is better to be safe than sorry.
So, I suggest you try the louder alarm clock and stopping the caffeine, but don't start with any punishments. It could be as simple as one of those things. However, after you have explored these options, if it doesn't seem to help, go ahead and take her to the doctor. It could be as simple as some vitamins that replenish certain chemicals within her body, or something bigger, but, either way, it's always good to know.
And if nothing is found wrong and you come to the conclusion she is lazy . . . definitely try some of the suggestions that others have come up with. And have fun! =)
Mitral Valve Prolapse
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Last edited by GodsGirl4ever06; 04-12-2007 at 09:39 PM.
Okay, so last night I gave her the "Big Ben" alarm clock, taught her how to use it, told her she was on her own in the morning and that when it was time to leave, I was leaving with or without her. I explained that if she felt she was old enough to go out with friends and soon to drive a car, then she was old enough to be responsible for herself in the morning. I almost had a heart attack when I snuck upstairs to check to see if she was awake (it was killing me not to) and not only was she awake, but she was dressed and fixing her hair! I will pray that this was not a single event and that it continues next week.
new here - all my kids sleep in - of course when they need to get up early to do something they want to do - no problems.... as creul as this sounds - a couple "eskimo blessings" (splashed with a glass of ice water) really really works!
My Dad found something that got me up in the mornings. He would call me once....if I wasn't up the next time he checked....I got a cold wash cloth in my face. Now that is a rude awakening!!!
Talk to her about going to bed earlier. Tell her it might be the ADHD and she needs more rest. Cut out all caffinated drinks completely. Try other things like taking a bath before bed instead of in the morning (if she doesn't already do this). Exercising in the evenings. A 3 mile walk after dinner would be good.
Hope some of this boards suggestions help, but keep trying!!!!
The eskimo blessing and cold wash cloth reminded me of my brother and husband... thought I would share.
The best my parents found for my brother was iced ball bearings and marbles.. keep a jug in the deep freeze.. tell them to get up. Walk to the deep freeze get frozen tiny balls of terror. Return.. lift sheet dump on back. Those little fellows are COLD.. and chase you all around the bed. Bonus no mess.. scoop and reuse the next day. You must surrender and evacuate the bed the ice balls always were victorious. I loved hearing my brother scream after a nice ice ball dosing.
If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.