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Old 04-19-2007, 11:37 PM   #1
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Unhappy dads new girlfriend

i'm a 17 year old girl and i live with my dad. my dad started dating this women about 2 years ago. i never had any serious issues with her, just once in a while i'd get mad at my dad for paying more attention to her than me (which is fairly normal). i mean i liked to hang out with her and stuff because she was fun, but i personally find her unintelligent, catty, and very fake (fake hair, fake boobs, fake personality) as well as trying to be a part of every aspect of mine and my fathers life including my mother (his ex wife) who is completely out of the picture. My dad this past week told me that he was IN LOVE with her and i didn't react so well and stopped talking to him for about 2-3 days. it's not so much that i was mad at him, but very disappointed considering how much he had complained about her intellect (or lack there of) and how it would never work out and told me i had nothing to worry about. my dad says nothing like moving in with each other will happen for about a year and a half at least, which is when i will be attending college, and truly thinks that since i'll be away, it will not affect me.

Tonight my dad and i had a very emotional talk that lasted maybe an hour or so. he told me he'd try harder to be more responsible at times and try to pay more attention to me when its the three of us. i respect him for trying, but at the end of the night she's up there in his bed and i hate it so much. she makes my dad happy for whatever reason it is that i don't understand, and i want him to be happy, and i realize once i go to college he'd be alone. but ijust hate that it is HER! i think he can do so much better!

So now i just have to deal with it, but it still makes me completely miserable. yes i want my dad to be happy cause i love him more than anything, but i'm still miserable. what do i do?

 
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Old 04-20-2007, 12:10 AM   #2
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Re: dads new girlfriend

You and your Dad have been through a lot together, making a home between the two of you. That has created a deep bond, and this is wonderful. However, everything changes, and hard as it is for you to accept (and I get that you are really trying, bless you), your Dad's choice of partner must be for him alone. You must accept it, you cannot put him in a position of having to choose, or having to tippy-toe between you and his partner. As for her intellect etc etc, she is probably a nice, uncomplicated, happy, comfortable person, never underestimate these qualities. Your dad probably just wants a happy, free, no-drama life. You cannot judge another person's needs, just be grateful that he seems to be getting his needs met. Be happy for him. This lady is HIS choice and that is the way it should be. Cheers, Sera

 
Old 04-20-2007, 10:07 AM   #3
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Re: dads new girlfriend

When my mother remarried I was very unhappy. At the time I was about 10.

I made life miserable for my mom and step-dad for years. I feel so bad about that now. My mom had been alone for years and she had finally found a man who made her happy and I was a nasty kid. I was a lot younger then you though and acted like a child.

Now my step-dad and I are the best of friends. I homeschool my kids and we spend at least one day a week with Grandpa. It's a blast. The man is awesome, I just wish I'd realized it back then.

I know it can be tough to see the one you love start to love someone else. However, your dad doesn't love you any less just because he's found someone new to share his life with. We are made with the capacity to love more then one person - thank heavens as I have 3 kids and a husband.

Try to put aside your feelings of what you think he needs and be happy for him. Being alone as an adult isn't a lot of fun.
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