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Old 04-21-2007, 12:31 PM   #1
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Always telling the kids to be quiet! Help

Maybe someone might have had a similar experience and could give some advice. I have 2 children ages 2 and 3 yrs. My sister in law has 2 kids ages 3 and 2 as well. Because we live 2 hours apart, the kids don't spend as much time together as we like, be when they do get together, they have SOOO much fun. The kids are all very well behaved and get along wonderfully. My other SIL has 9 month old twins. She is a new mom and expects complete quiet when she is anywhere with her kids. If the babies need to nap, she turns out the lights and expects all the kids to keep it down. 2 months ago we were all invited to the babies' baptism. The kids were playing and having a ball. They were very quiet for kids who were stuck inside. Yet again, they were consistently told to be quiet since the babies were sleeping up on the second floor. It drives us all nuts and ticks me off. My kids could fall asleep anywhere, no matter the amount of noise. I never expected anyone to keep it down b/c of the kids. I was always vigilant about making noise while they were napping to get them used to it.

Has anyone had to deal with family members taking it upon themselves to tell your kids to be quiet? How did you react? If my kids were out of line, I would step in RIGHT AWAY. But how can someone expect 2 and 3 year olds to be quiet all the time?????? My husband and I try to bite our tounges as well as my other SIL, but I want to say something soo badly. I also try to think to myself that soon enough, she will learn as her kids get older and start making more noise that it's not so easy. Any suggestions would be great or at least someone who can relate!! Thanks

 
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Old 04-21-2007, 09:15 PM   #2
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Re: Always telling the kids to be quiet! Help

You are right, she will get it when her kids are older! In the meantime, if they are in your home, and she does this, it is not rude to just say, "Hun, they are at home, they are allowed to play". Otherwise there is not much you can do without her response being to leave or get huffy. It is a temporary situation, not worth any sort of family conflict, but if she does get tetchy about it, then just say, perhaps don't come over when it is anywhere their nap times, cos the other kids miss out on their play.

 
Old 04-22-2007, 07:23 AM   #3
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Re: Always telling the kids to be quiet! Help

aelliott, just tell her calmly that it is unrealistic that these children can be so quiet - they are excited to be together. You can also tell her that she should get her children used to noise while sleeping. You are only sharing info here. Is there a rule against sharing info? Maybe because your SIL has TWINS she is so vigilant about them sleeping. Twins would be tough! You can certainly discuss this calmly with your family. All issues should be out in the open and discussed. It is only a discussion with everyone sharing their opinions. Maybe something can be worked out but only if it is discussed.

 
Old 04-22-2007, 02:44 PM   #4
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Re: Always telling the kids to be quiet! Help

I have two older daughters, 6 and 4, and a almost one year old son. We often have neighborhood friends over to play. While the baby is napping, I don't let them play in their bedrooms with their friends. The kids bedrooms are all very close together and I know they may get a little too crazy. They are, however, allowed to be in any other part of the house. We have a gameroom upstairs and I encourage them to go up there. They do make a lot of noise and I don't stop them unless it's out of hand. We talk in normal voices when the baby is napping as well. It's unrealistic to make everyone whisper, especially children, when a baby is sleeping. And like you said, babies need to be able to sleep with noises around them.

While I do let them play freely in other parts of the house, I do not allow playing close to his room because I try to teach my children respect for people who are sleeping. Just like when my girls decide to sleep in one another's room for a "sleepover". I tell them if one wakes earlier than the other, don't wake her. Same if my husband or I are getting a once in a lifetime opportunity to nap. I want them to have respect for that as well. I do understand that my girls are older and more capable of understanding.

So I'm wondering if you could ask you SIL if there could be a part of the house that was for the napping and the other part for the kids who want to play. The kids are not to go to that part of the house and let the babies sleep. Or.....could you talk to her and tell that it's way too hard to keep the kids quiet, could she come over after the babies are awake? Get together before or after naps. I would very carefully not try to make a family squabble out of it, because they won't be napping before you know it and you would hate to have a lingering strained relationship.

Good Luck.

 
Old 04-22-2007, 04:57 PM   #5
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Re: Always telling the kids to be quiet! Help

Thanks everyone,

It's funny b/c, one would think you would not have to worry too much if the babies were sleeping on another floor of the house. When we all (7 kids and 10 adults) went to the beach for the summer, the house had 4 floors. Even when 2 floors separated the children from the babies, they were still being shushed by my BIL and SIL. When 5 children under the age of 3 are stuck inside for days b/c of rain, you can't expect total silence. I think I have come to the conclusion that she is a first time mom and will learn soon enough!! Thanks Again!

 
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