Recently, we came to know that our 7 year old daughter accidentally watched a porn CD. I chose not to punish or apply stress on her to correct herself, hoping that she would eventually forget the viewing.
A few days ago, after I returned home after a week's absence, i was told by my wife that she had caught our daughter and neighbour's 7 year old son simulating sex.
I again chose not to punish or apply stress on her to correct herself, hoping that she would eventually know what is good and what is bad.
Can anybody please advise us on my next course of action ?
I think it was a very wise decision not to punish her. She made no mistake, did she? But I am not so sure about no follow-up now. I agree that it would have been better for her to have seen mom and dad doing it rather than a video. Of two "evils", choose the lesser. But it is good that she apparently wasn't frightened by what she saw.
I would give her a book about sexuality in childhood or youth, or whatever they call it. I know there are such books out there and they have pictures and drawings. They are not perfect, they can even be too politically correct, but that's a point for you to start. I would give her the book, read it together and then give her my own interpretation of the facts.
However, if she can't get over it and will insist on simulating it etc, then I would consider talking to a child counsellor. Hope you don't have to go all that way.
After the first time she viewed it did you or your wife talk to her about what she saw? I know you decided not to "punish her" or "apply stress to correct herself", but did you talk about what was going on in the video?
You and your wife need to sit down and discuss with her what she saw on that video, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Explain to her the purpose of sex, how it occurs between two adults, and it's not appropriate for a 7 year old to be simulating those acts. She shouldn't be made to feel bad for what she did. She's young and she is naturally mimicing what she sees because she doesn't know it's inappropriate for her to do so.
I agree that getting some books on the subject will help you to have this discussion with your daughter. Allow your daughter to ask you questions and answer them as simply and truthfully as you can. You just need to get it all out in the open. Better for you and your wife to discuss sex with her then have her get all her knowledge from porn and other children.
I second the above. You really need to talk to her about what she saw. Allow her to ask questions. I expect it was disturbing to her. Explain sex to her in terms she can understand and explain that it is something that adults do, not children. You can do this without making her feel punished.
I agree with the above. You cannot punish her. However, you need to speak with her about sexuality, about proper behaviour, about being a woman.
The cat is out of the bag, so to speak, and it needs to be dealt with. She needs to know that what she saw probably wasn't an accurate portrayal of actual sex.
Unfortunately, things that are viewed are never forgotten. It will always be in her memory. She just needs help dealing with it. She is not of an age that she can properly figure it out by herself.
She may even need to see a counsellor depending on what was on the video she saw. Do you know what was on it? There is some horribly sick stuff out there.
We thank you all for your valuable advises. As far as discussing these issues with her is concerned, we both thought it might still not be her appropriate age, to understand such things. We decided that my daughter is just casually mimicking, without any compulsive intention.
