It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-03-2007, 11:21 AM   #1
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 359
willo1980 HB User
Question Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

My son, 4 1/2, will urinate in the toilet and keep his underwear dry ALL DAY. But, when it comes to #2 he always goes in his pants! We've been fighting with this for a year now. The first time we bought him Thomas the Tank underwear thinking he would want to use the potty as to not ruin his Thomas pants. He is a HUGE Thomas fan. Well, after ruining like 2 packs of those, we switched to the plain white Haines which comes in bigger packs for the same price as character undies. Still, he peed in the potty but would poop in the underwear. Eventually, he lost all his underwear because they would become too soiled to wash out. We've since switched back to pull-ups and told him no new undies until he's potty trained.

I'm not sure if this was the best thing seeing as now he just pees in the pull-up cause he knows it won't make a mess. I've tried potty charts and treats. It's hopeless. His little sister is getting too big for her crib and we need to move her to a new bed. We told him that once he's fully potty trained we'll buy him a Thomas bed (he's been dying for this since he could talk!) and he can give his old bed to sissy.

When we put him to bed at night he says he hates his bed and wants a new one. But we want him to know that when we say something we stick to our guns. All we want is for him to poop on the toilet all the time. He did poop once a month ago, but then later that day pooped in his pants.

Really, the struggle is driving me crazy. He needs to be in pre-school, badly, because he needs interaction with kids his age. But no pre-school will take him because he's not potty trained! I'm at a loss.

Can someone out there help me? What's the secret?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-03-2007, 02:24 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

The first thing I will tell you is to get rid of the pull ups asap. As you already know this is only encouraging him to go in his pants (as you can see by how he is again peeing in them after using the toilet).

My nephew was going through the same thing. He would have no trouble peeing, but when it came to pooping he would hold it in until the last possible moment (and you could see him struggle to hold it) and then he would go in his pants. He really wanted to go to school and play with the other kids (he's an only child) and his parents told him that he couldn't go to school until he pooped on the potty all the time. He was reluctant (and I'm still not sure why) so they also bribed him (which I normally wouldn't recommend but sometimes you just run out of options) telling him if he could go "accident free" for two weeks they would take him to the store to pick out a Star Wars toy (he's a big fan). Once he did it for those two weeks it really became as routine as the peeing was.

The only other thing I would suggest is maybe talk to your pediatrician and see if he/she may have some good advice for you.

Good luck!

 
Old 05-04-2007, 08:16 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Oak Ridge
Posts: 6,748
mkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

Well this is what we had to do when my son was 2. He was potty trained in every aspect, but did not and refused to poop. First, children get the urge to poop after eating it stimulates the digestive tract. So 15 minutes after each meal, set him on the pot for 15 minutes and get him to try.. if he does it, make a big production of it and give him a reward.. this may be all it takes. If he starts to resist this.. take him regularly to the potty and make him sit til he goes, at 4.5 he knows what he is doing. My son is that age now, and he is given no leeway fighting the potty.

As to the not wanting to poop, this may be something you are facing. My son went through that as well. We had to finally get professional advice and it had quick and great results.. my pediatrician says boys are very prone to such behavior. My son would be border line impacted, he fought pooping so hard... could hold it for 3-4 days and then it would hurt like Hades to poop. Only releasing little bits here and there in his pants. He was definitely full of it.

How did we fix it, well this is what the MD suggested? Daily doses of milk o mag in his milk kept him soft, and then we would take him to the potty and make him sit after every meal for 15 to 30 minutes. In many cases this potty time out is enough for the child to go so they can go back to fun stuff, like playing. Alas it made my son bear down and become more stubborn.. thus we entered phase two.. the suppository treatment when he hit that third day of fighting. We used a glycerin childs suppository. Those suppositories won't hurt you, but they burn like all get out if you fight them for longer than the 15-30 minute retention time...and you are left with no choice but to go. My son's record 1.5 hours holding it and refusing to poop after suppository application, screaming in my ear the whole time, "I will not poop, I am not going to use the potty!".

It only took one stubborn weekend and four suppositories and a lot of sitting on the pot time for him to realize, it was better to go when you had too than spend the day on the toilet for continually streaking your pants and get a pooping tablet. My pediatrician suggested this tack and it was the best thing we ever did. One weekend and now since he only had the occasional accident when ill afterward.

Now my son still hates to stop what he is doing to poop.. "It takes to long!" (my son's words there) But we make my son sit and try to poop once a day after dinner, and do not tolerate messy britches. If he doesn't at least produce a BM every other day and begins to streak his britches and do the obvious (I have to poop dance, but won't) dance.. we just ask him if he needs a tablet (what we call the suppository) to help him poop. He will look at us and say, "No, Thank-you." and with in the next twenty minutes be hollering," I am done! " from the potty so we can check him.

Potty training is rough, but there comes a time when they are old enough to know and just refuse that you have to take the hard line. Parents can not always be the good guys and I am often the meanie.. my husband likes to disappear for the potty problem issues.

Respectfully,
MG
__________________
If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.

Last edited by mkgbrook; 05-04-2007 at 08:24 AM.

 
Old 05-04-2007, 10:16 AM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 359
willo1980 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

Mg,

Your son and mine could be twins! That's my son to a T. Our doctor put him on Mirilax because he, too, will hold it until he's throwing up from the impaction. I'm still trying to work out the best dosage though because giving it to him once a day makes for a runny mess.

I know he knows how to and when he needs to. Just twenty minutes ago I spotted him standing still in the kitchen making his "I'm pooping" face. The faces we mothers get to know from our children. :-) By the time I got to him he yelled, "No, stop, Don't check me I already pooped!" We know if he won't let us check him that he already messed his pants. I'll try putting him on the potty after meals. And I have a good feeling that if I put him on the potty and said he couldn't get off until he pooped, he would do it just so he can go play. He's very active and sitting in one place for so long may just break his stubborness. Thanks.

 
Old 05-04-2007, 10:22 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,789
galinaqt HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

My 4.5 dd is also not fully potty trained. I wouldn't suggest to get rid of pull-ups. We had huge set back when we took pull-ups away at a night time. She stop doing it at a daytime as well. We put pull-ups at night.
I promised her a toy if she not have wet diapers for a week. It doesn't work. These days kids have everything anyway.
She also uses small seat on a toilet. In daycare she doesn't do it.
Our neighbours who have 2 kids offer her to come sometimes without pull-up so she can see how their kids do it.
For big thing she always waiting for the night time when we put pull-ups on her. She could wet herself during the day nap.
I am desporative myself.

 
Old 05-04-2007, 08:46 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,301
mary09 HB Usermary09 HB Usermary09 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

Hi,
My son was just over 3 when he was potty trained and I also had to put off preschool because he wasnt potty trained yet. But one day, he just did it when I didnt expect it. He was in the bath and said he needed to go pee-pee, so I took him out and told him, listen you have to go on the toilet so we can get back in the bath. All of a sudden, he just did it! And the poop came about two days after. I made a big deal of it, I know it sounds growse, but boys love it.
I kept making it sound like "wow" you made a big poop? And then the next time we'd say "okay, how big is it this time?" He loved it!!
But I was very lucky, it all came together quickly. My friend had recommended what she said was a sure-fire technique. I never got to try it because I was lucky enough that he just did it himself. But here goes, and you may think it's extreme. When he's at home, let him run around the house "naked". When he needs to poop, he'll be at a loss, no pull ups, no underwear, no pants? What will he do? At his age, I think it would be hard for him to imagine doing it on the floor, he knows better, so you give him no choice!!! Not sure if this will work, maybe it works better with younger kids, but my friend said mother her kids were trained really quickly like this!!! Good luck!!!
Carsam

 
Old 05-05-2007, 09:12 AM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 476
Viktorria HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

My son had a similar issue. He didn't have any trouble doing # 1 in the potty, but #2 he flat out refused b/c just as someone else said, it took too long.

We finally found two things that worked for us.

The first was that he loved transformers. We went out and bought several of his favorite action figures and left them in the package in the bathroom. Everytime he'd go to the bathroom we reminded him that he could pick out one of them after he went #2 in the potty. I chose to see this as an incentive, not a bribe!

The second thing was whenever we thought he had to go, make a big production out of it. We had a silly song we switched around that we would sing to him...

Tinkle, tinkle, pee-pee. in the potty you will be.
Stinky, stinky, poopey-poo, in the potty for you too!

He thought this was hysterical and would at least sit there for a second and try. The getting him to try was really key, even if he didn't actually go. Getting him to sit there for a few minutes and try made all the difference. And after the very first time of #2 in the potty, he never went back.

This didn't work for us, but a friend who had trouble allowed her son to sit on the potty with the pull up on and do #2. Once she got her to do that, it was easier for her to transition to sit on the potty without the pull up on.

Finally, I can say that once we stopped worrying about it so much, it happened alot quicker. My son was so far advanced in everything else that I started trying to potty train him when he turned 2. It was a mistake to push him and I ended up with a year and a half of frustration. If I am blessed with another child, I will definitely not push too soon with the potty. Good luck!

 
Old 05-05-2007, 06:03 PM   #8
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 359
willo1980 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

My son has always been advanced for his age, too. He was using the mouse and working games on the computer by 2. He can spell several words and can do addition and some subtraction. And this is why it's so fustrating with the whole potty training deal. I had thought he would logicaly understand we poop in the potty. Instead it's become a game of struggle.

Since yesterday we've switched him back to underwear and haven't had an accident since yesterday morning. It was diarrhea so I understood. Since last night, though, he's been sitting on the potty for long periods of time and he is really trying. I just think, using the current plan of attack, it won't be long.

 
Old 05-05-2007, 07:05 PM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 476
Viktorria HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

You know, it's funny b/c my pediatrician flat out told me we'd have potty training issues. She said he's too smart - exceptionally smart children tend to struggle a little with the potty b/c it's not something interesting that they want to invest their time in.

I figure it's better to have a smart child and some potty issues than vice versa! Good luck!

 
Old 05-06-2007, 06:25 AM   #10
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 359
willo1980 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

Exactly, Viktoria. My son is stuck in the 3 yr. old room at pre-school because he refuses to do #2 on the potty. He is constantly getting into trouble and it's my opinion that he's acting out because 1) he's in a room with younger kids and 2) that he's too smart for the games they play in there. He really needs to be with his age group, especially since he's the height of a 6 yr old. They do all these exciting things in the older room, and they are more age appropriate for him. He's always been so smart and quick to pick things up and that's why certain members of my family can't figure out why he just won't go #2 where it belongs.

 
Old 05-09-2007, 08:12 AM   #11
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Bremen, GA
Posts: 108
Laner HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

I agree with many of the others... X the pull ups. I have a friend whos Mother was in a car accident and has not feeling from mid-back down. Well she didn't get the sensation to go. An old Dr. told the family to make sure she ate an apple every day. Now she knows when she needs to go poop. I don't know if this will help but certainly worth a try.

When he goes make him feel like you are proud. Praise him for doing good!
Good Luck!
Laner

 
Old 05-09-2007, 09:04 AM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 359
willo1980 HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

We took away the pullups and put him back in underwear. Saturday he sat on the potty and didn't do anything. Well, Sunday we took the whole day to be at home and made him sit on the potty. I told him he wasn't getting up until he pooped. He sat on that potty for 3 hours! He is a very stubborn child. I knew hadn't went for three days and he gets constipated very easily. He kept saying it was there but his bottom hurt. I looked and saw a little fissure so I got him some pediatric suppositories. About an hour later, he said he had to potty. He went on the potty and was so proud of himself. We made a big production out of it. He said "I'm a big boy now and I don't need pullups!" He's been accident free since Sunday! And he tells us when he needs to poopy. We thought we would never get to this point!

And his sister, who is 22 months, was sitting with me on the floor of the bathroom waiting for him to poop yesterday... I told her brother was going poopy and she says "poop" then grunts and poops. I'm thinking she's going to be a breeze to toilet train.

 
Old 05-09-2007, 12:09 PM   #13
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: MD
Posts: 476
Viktorria HB User
Re: Help Potty Training 4 1/2 yr old!

Willo, congrats! It only took one time and my son never went back! Yay!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Help with Potty Training CoastieGirl7287 Parenting Issues 6 12-31-2008 12:11 AM
Help me with potty training Amber81499 Parenting Issues 9 08-05-2007 12:09 AM
HELP W/ 2yr boy potty training!!! missTee Parenting Issues 6 03-13-2007 10:19 AM
When do you hit 'abnormal' in the potty training time line??? Jordyn Children's Health 7 02-27-2007 05:37 PM
potty training help for my almost 3 year old mommy4raegan Children's Health 7 02-13-2007 10:47 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:03 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!