Hey everyone............my 4 yr. old daughter is potty trained, but she WILL NOT poop in the potty. She will go in her pants at daycare, and at home, well she'll go hide somewhere so i can't see her and go in her pants. During bath time, she will get out of the tub.......to tell me that she doesn't want to poop in the potty and that she wants underpants on. I sit her on the potty, and OMG!!.........she cries and pitches a fit! I don't understand it. It's almost like she scared to do it. She has done it a couple of times, and was thrilled to death when she did it. There are even times that she has made herself constipated.
Any advice or suggestions would be sooooo appreciated!!
Well, first I want to say that I KNOW what you are going through!! You can read the thread on here titled: Holding in BM's, Advice please! This is MY post! I was desperate, and after research, doc visits, etc...we are finally getting somewhere.
More than likely your daugther has had a "bad" experience on the potty. Whether you know it or not...my DD bled a little b/c her poop was too hard. THis is what happened to her. If she makes herself constipated here is what you do: Give her Mirolax (or generic) mixed in with her milk/juice once per day. Also give her Mineral Oil to soften the stool. This may take a day or two to work. Want to warn you that this can significantly soften the stool, so keep on the lookout for the "signs" that she is going or going to go (mine hides too, and I usually pick her up---while she is clenching her cheeks together---and stick her on the potty and tell her to go). Mine pitches a fit too (she is 3 by the way). I have also been told that if she doesn't go within 2 days to use the above.
It has gotten better, and here is what I have found to work, so far, on a daily basis. I bought some Benefiber (it is costly), and I add 1/2 tsp. 3x per day in her milk/juice (it is clear and dissolves into whatever you add it to). I also stopped giving her juice that is straight. I mix 1/4 juice to 3/4 water. This keeps the stool soft naturally on it's own. Then I just have to watch for the signs that she is going to go...and lucky for me it is the same time so I know when to start watching.
The other thing I can think of is just to have a general "heart to heart" with her. Sit her on your lap, and hold her hands---so she knows you are serious---and talk to her quietly and calmly about the situation. How important it is that she goes into the potty, etc. My DD hasn't had a poop accident in about 2 weeks, b/c of the above. I hope this helps you out!! I know how frustrating it is. It almost sounds like we have the same child, albeit the age difference! LOL! Any other questions just ask!
Since she knows she is doing it.. you have to take the hard line. Go or you are not getting off the pot. It has too be uncomfortable to play with the mess in her pants not to mention it will rub them raw. Use the fiber, juice suppositry what ever it takes and make her go. Right now it sounds like a battle of wills, and you can not let her win. I had to do this with my son when he was 2.5.. man was it a rough weekend. It worked and now unless he is sick with a stomach bug we are home free.
If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.
that's how it has to be...........i just need to be MORE stern. It's not hard or anything when she goes, cause she has squeezed her cheeks together b4 to hold it in. I have made her sit on the potty til she goes.......but man oh man, does she have a fit!!
becareful with your sternness. My 5 year old still doesn't go poop in the potty. I've pulled and twisted with her. Taken away things, put her in time outs and even had her sit on the potty till she "went". However no matter how hard you try to force the issue it doesn't work. Even tonight we dealt with it. My husband gets frustrated, I get frustrated, my 5 year old gets frustrated. Everyone always told me that girls were easier to train than boys. ALl of my friends boys are fully trained and have been since they were 2 1/2. My daughter still wears pull ups if she's messed more than twice in her pants. She even goes to school and is a very smart little girl.
Her teacher told me the other day that her middle son was the brightest of her three and yet it took him till he was 6 to master the potty idea.
It's nice to know that you and i aren't the only ones around with kids like this!!!
I do send my best reguards. I know the road is hard. I've given her some stool softeners but sometimes they made her so soft that she couldn't even make it to the potty if she tried. I've taken her to doctors, they've given her special meds, it's just not happening.
One day I hope to wake up and never have to worry about pull ups and dirty pants again. I was hoping once my 2 year old started training (who won't go poop in her pants) that my other one would pick it up, but now if you mention it to her she gets agravated that we would even bring it up.
So all this to say, that forcing them to do it unfortually isn't the best idea. Most kids get it by 3 some don't and it's not anything we can do about it until they do.
Maybe make "potty time" more fun rather than something she is forced to do. Are there some books she really likes that you can read to her only when she is on the potty? That way you are being stern and not letting her get up but at the same time it doesn't feel like a punishment.
my son turned 3 in february and is doing the same exact thing. He will always tell me when he needs to pee but will never tell me he has to poop. He will go and hide and gets upset if you catch him in the act. He definately wants to do it in private but he wont use the toilet and he knows we get so mad at him when he poops his pants. We are so frustrated with him as he just did this tonight. Nothing has worked to get him out of this. He has never had a bad experience with pooing or anything and he isn't scared of the toilet at all.
OMG! My 4 1/2 yr old son is the same way! We tried the "sit on that potty until you poop" with him. Well, he would've sat there all weekend if we didn't eventually let him up. He's so stubborn!
At the beginning of this week my husband and I sat down with him and told him we were all getting fustrated and that he would be going back to pullups. Boy did my son throw a fit. "Pullups are for babies!" he would cry. After a few days and night in pullups, I caught my son in the act. I tossed him on the potty and encouraged him to push it out. Well, he managed a little plop and got all thrilled! He asked for his underwear back and said he didn't need pullups anymore that he would never poop in his undies again. Well, this morning... he poops in his undies while at grammies house. He did the hide and poop routine. I told him firmly that if he does it again the pullups go back on. He hasn't pooped again, but I'm thankful for this 3 day weekend and plan on getting this toilet training done once and for all.
I too have tried the sit until you go thing. Sorry, but if they are stubborn enough, they will sit for hours, and other things have to be done. Mine just started this whole hiding thing recently. Well, the whole thing really. At 3, I figured she would be completely PT. We had done so well, then we went to Florida, and it messed her all up. The longest she went w/o a BM was 5 DAYS! The ped says no longer than 2. Well, I am on day 4 here with mine, and have even given her mineral oil and prunes. She is just stubborn. NO matter what I say or do. My DH got so upset with her last night. Fortunately mine won't go in her pants recently, but just WON'T GO!! She is currently crawling under the table, so I need to go get her on the pot!
my daughter is doing wonderful!! she has had a couple of incidents during the nite, but after a certain time, i cut off all liquids and make sure she goes potty before she goes to bed, even when she tells me she doesn't have to go. Majority of the time, she goes.