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Old 05-28-2007, 08:57 AM   #1
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Angry Help me 7year old behavior problems

My husband and I have been married now for a year. He has a child from is previous marriage, a 7 year old boy. I also have a child from a separate marriage a 4 year old girl. We just recent had a new baby added to our family, which is a girl. I wanted you guys to get the background of us down first before I went to tell you about my step-son. When I first met him, he was 5 at the time, he had problem. He was pooping in is pants, having tentrum-tantrams, screaming to get his way.My husband lived in Canada and I lived in Fairmont, we decided to move to fairmont and live. He is now 6 years old. I moved back down here in June of 06, with me, my daughter and his son, without him (he was coming down at a later date he had to finish somethings up there first). Till the middle of July i cont. to have problems with him. Him and I sat down and talked. Which helped for the next month and a half he was a very good boy. Stopped using the bathroom in his pants, not screaming, very helpful. Then his dad came home, and it wasn't right when his dad came home ( I am not saying he wouldn't of started this had his dad came home or if his dad would came home) that is started about the middle of Sept. He was right back where he was before. We cont. doing what we where before, punishment wise, If he used the bathroom in his pants he had to clean his pants, if he had a tentrum-tantram he got put in time out until he was ready to calm down, when he would start screaming we would tell him we don't scream in this household and as long as he screamed we would ignore him until he was rady to just talk to us. It didn't help he just got worse, he stopped using the bathroom in his pants, but started hitting his step-sister plus his new sister, hitting our dog, completly stopped listening to us (which i don't expect him to listen to much to me i am only his step mom but he don't listen to his dad), stealing, lying, screaming, sneaking out of the house, sneaking into our room, talking back, tearing up stuff ( ie tearing the wood panel in his room off, tearing up his dresser, breaking his bed {by kicking the bars off of it} and so on), banging on wall doors, spitting on his new sister, taking her bottle and dumping it out of her, smacking her, pinching her, he bites his step-sister, kicks his step-sister . That is all that he has start doing over the past 8 months. It didn't all start right off the bat it started slow by sure, but right now he does all of that. We have tried verything to stop it, punishment, taking any things, ignoring his bad behavior, congratulating on his good behavior. Someone please help on what I can do to stop this!! We are thinking about sending him to bootcamp or some place like that but we can't find anyplace that takes 7 years old. We need help

 
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Old 05-28-2007, 12:33 PM   #2
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

God Bless You! He's quite a handful, isn't he?

It sounds from what you've written that a) your stepson has had an above-average amount of change in his young life and b) he copes with change less well than does the average child. Put together, this kid just isn't coping very well.

I think it would be very useful to consult a child therapist. Sounds like both you (his parents) and he could use the extra help.

Good luck!

 
Old 05-30-2007, 10:22 AM   #3
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

Sharon, do you think that you have less time for him now that your husband is home? Or he is just very agitated about the relationship that he has with his dad? Does his dad give him the attention that he needs?

 
Old 05-30-2007, 12:29 PM   #4
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

We thought that too, maybe he felt he was getting the same attention that he was getting before so we tryied one on one time each day for an hour no other kids, one on one time with me and one on one time with his dad. We would do whatever he wanted and for a week that helped but then he went right back to where he was before!!

 
Old 05-30-2007, 03:45 PM   #5
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

You all need to see a therapist. His life (as he sees it) is in chaos and he has no control. He;s just trying to get control in a 7 year old's way. He's crying out for help, sweetie! Get it for him.

 
Old 07-04-2008, 10:36 AM   #6
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

I could have written this post myself. I am in pretty much the exact same place as you are, except my husband and I were widowed before we met. It is a terrible situation to be in. It can make home life miserable, I know. When my stepson goes with his grandparents I breathe a sigh of relief. When I am only with my son and new daughter, I am relaxed and things go so smoothly. When the stepson is in the mix, it's pure chaos. I wish I had the answer. Crying seems to be my outlet lately, LOL....

( removed

Last edited by moderator2; 07-04-2008 at 11:01 AM. Reason: please do not ask members to post against the rules

 
Old 07-05-2008, 09:47 AM   #7
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Re: Help me 7year old behavior problems

Hi, my 7 year old and I are going through something almost similar. My husband adopted my son so now he is our son. But we are having some problems with my son and his behavior.

You might want to take him to a therapist. He sounds like something is not right in his life, from his point of view and he is expressing his feelings through his behavior. you may want to just for the sake of it, get him tested for something, as maybe he has a disorder such as ODD or something else. Just to see. A child psychologist is your best bet and they can take it from there to see what they might think is going on. Once they can come to some sort of conclusion, everyone can go to therapy to learn how to interact with each other. I have to go that with my husband and our son.

Good luck, hope it works out for you, I feel your pain.

 
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