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Old 06-03-2007, 04:01 PM   #1
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15 year old disrespectful what to do

My 15 son is soo disrespectful...He swears and thinks it's okay...Nasty to his little brother...Grades are slipping and homework isn't being done...Lies about homework being done that i have to call the school now every week to check...Shuts doors in our faces...Destoring stuff like punching holes in my walls...Threatens his 8 year old brother...I've grounded him since last grade reports that was back in Feb..Let him have only one day free that's only if his homework is done for the week...Attitude is driving me nuts...From the sweetest kid to a total nasty kid...He has been like this since he was 13 but it seems to get worse...What to do with him???

 
Old 06-04-2007, 02:00 AM   #2
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Maybe he is going through a difficult time. Be patient. Or maybe it's an excess of testosterone. You might suggest him taking sports and some other physical activity so that he can release some of his energy more positively. What is he eating? Too much sugar? Anyway, I am afraid that in such cases a parent can't do much. You may need help from a counsellor or therapist.

 
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Old 06-04-2007, 02:23 AM   #3
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

He is a little beyond normal teenage grumpiness. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and that can't be helping. Punching holes in the wall shows lack of anger management skills. I agree with Pendulum, maybe an outlet for his physical energy. Martial arts is pretty good for learning self-control, and most boys would like to learn this.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 06:06 AM   #4
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

did sounds like my 14 yr old daughter...If you find a way to fix it please let me know.............tina

 
Old 06-04-2007, 06:14 AM   #5
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

He's very much into sports...Football for eight years...He has played varsity as a freshman which the school hasnt taken any kid off the JV as a freshman in fifteen years until last year..He's a big kid 6' 2" and 228 pounds solid...He does weight lifting every night after school...If football kept up could possibly go to a great college which i'm hoping for...He would like to look into NFL but if not sports medicine...Wrestling for three years undefeated....Very social but of course he's grounded right now...Proud mom just have to get the attitude under control...

 
Old 06-04-2007, 06:31 AM   #6
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Any chance he's using steroids? Sorry to ask that but I know someone who did and this sounds like typical behavior. There is so much pressure these days in sports to be the best that sometimes kids get to believing that it's all they can do so will do whatever it takes to excel. Just a thought, not meant in any way to upset you. Could just be his personality right now. Try to remember when you were 15, all those crazy harmones and peer pressure. Unfortunately our little boys grow up and decide they can no longer talk to us so they speak to friends or no one at all about what's worrying them and the pressure just builds. I would take this seriously though especially since you also have an 8 year old impressionable little boy witnessing and being affected by this behavior.

Last edited by kdel; 06-04-2007 at 06:32 AM.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 08:01 AM   #7
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Honestly i don't think it's steriods...I know there is alot a pressure at that age and the hormones...My son and i have a relationship where he does tell me i wont say everything but most things...He's not a kid to get into trouble and he is very health cautious about what he puts into his body..This has been going on since he has been 13 or maybe even 12 years old...

 
Old 06-04-2007, 02:08 PM   #8
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Just want to say I sympathize with you. Kinda know what you are going through. I have a 15 y/o daughter. She was like that to a degree last fall, that's about the time things started to change for her into anxiety/depression. It's been a living hell; since she will not tell her father or I what the matter is! She knows it's destroying her yet tells me she can't tell me this? We do know she feels lonely; but who hasn't at one point or another. That's only a minute piece of the puzzle.
Anyways, could something be bothering him that he's not letting on about? Friends, teachers, sports? We went through some of the same things for about a year or so before things hit the wall; looking back now. Hindsight is 20/20.
Good luck.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 02:12 PM   #9
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by daystar91 View Post
He's a big kid 6' 2" and 228 pounds solid...He does weight lifting every night after school...If football kept up could possibly go to a great college which i'm hoping for...He would like to look into NFL but if not sports medicine...Wrestling for three years undefeated....Very social but of course he's grounded right now...Proud mom just have to get the attitude under control...
he's WAY WAY too big to be out of control like that......is there a possibility that he's doing steroids along with the weight lifting.....have you heard of roid rage? Even If that's not the case, I'd get him for some professional help and quick......while you still have walls left......he needs to learn how to control his anger.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 04:20 PM   #10
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

Believe me when I say if you lose his respect now, you will never get it back...let him know in no uncertain terms what is acceptable and what is not.

I have a 22 year old who is still a rebel.

when she was that age I used more effective means of punishment.....Taking away the computer...cel phone...whatever she loved to do.

I am sure alot of this is puberty...testosterone...but tell him if he needs to vent , do it in some way that doesn't affect the whole family...(punching bag in the garage?)
make sure you tell him repeatedly how much he is loved, and also tell him how much you appreciate when he doesn't dis-respect you...reward him either with priveleges, or a much wanted cd when he goes awhile with no blow-ups...)

try taking him on a short road trip...(that way he is trapped in the car with you) re-enforce what you expect out of him, and try to get him to talk about his issues. and explain that you only want to help him with whatever he's going through...and spend a little extra time with him one on one if possible.

also..when I offered to get my daughter a shrink ..she was mortified and straightened up really quick...lol
so that threat may do wonders for the attitude...

keep him busy, but make it fun.....have him help you wash the car...and get into a water fight...you know impulsive things that show him you are on his side.

also..keep the screaming to a minimum..if he sees you lose it and scream..he sees that it's okay for him to do it...bite your tongue, take a deep breath and remind him that screaming and throwing things is un-acceptable...

I know sometimes it's hard to show them love when they are being monsters, but he will get through this..with your love and patience.

whew! dr. sally is off duty now..lol

 
Old 06-04-2007, 07:05 PM   #11
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

I honestly believe that he is not doing steriods...He is a big kid but my brothers are 6 4 and are weight lifters...The men in my family are total health nuts..I have tried therapy in the past but i think he thinks it's a joke...Or he tries so hard to make me look like the bad guy in this all...

 
Old 06-06-2007, 01:26 PM   #12
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Re: 15 year old disrespectful what to do

He needs motivating from a male figure. That's one of many things that will help. I have a 15 year old like yourself! Yes, going thru/went thru the same problems just about. He too loves sports an play football for his school. Very good I might add, and fast, but his respect for parents, and older sister needed some serious ajusting.Lol.. We kept him busy in our church youth group/bible study, we went to family couseling, and to top it off, we had his coach to give him a one on one talking to.
Long story short, he's doing a hundred percent better! His grades are up, and his respect is up as well. Praise God..Lol. We're still not out of the woods, but we are headed that way! Don't give up, there is still time, hang in there..

 
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