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Old 06-09-2007, 05:30 PM   #1
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What Will Happen With Baby?

My boyfriend and I have a 5 month old baby girl. Long story short...bf and I just can't get along, I'm thinking about leaving him BUT FIRST I want to make sure he can't any way possible take our baby. I don't know if he'd put up a fight for her, and I'd agree he could see her with me present, but I want her with me..living with me..full custody mine. If there is even a slim chance he could take our little girl, I'll stay with him and "get along" with him just for the baby. We may be able to work things out, I just want to know how things work with custody before I tell him how I feel. My boyfriend has no idea I feel this way yet but I can't hide my feelings anymore. What do I do? How does the whole custody thing work? Wern't sure if this post belongs here but I know this is where all the parents are at. Thanks so much for any input. He's the only one working and besides that..he has nothing on me.

 
Old 06-09-2007, 06:11 PM   #2
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

In most parts of the world, there has to be negligence or some other compelling provable reason (eg drug addiction) for a mother to lose custody of her child. If you are worried, see a lawyer, or go to a legal advice clinic or whatever you may havein your area.

 
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Old 06-09-2007, 07:12 PM   #3
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

The only other thing I could think of that he could try to use against me (IF he decided to fight for her) is the fact that I suffer from anxiety/panic disorder...BUT it doesn't interfere with me being a good mommy to my baby. He'd only fight for her to make me angry if for any reason. I guess I'm just paranoid. I don't wanna start a discussion that very likely will lead to an argument where I end up telling him I'm taking the baby and leaving. I just don't want any slight possible chance of anyone tying to take my baby away. I guess will try and seek some legal advise somewhere to be sure.

I know dads have a big say in their children and children are just as much theirs as they are ours, but me being the mother..if I wanna up and leave with my child...don't I have the right?? No offence to any dads out there.

 
Old 06-10-2007, 04:15 PM   #4
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

I'm not sure what kind of parent he is to the baby, but if he's a good one you should rethink the "take the baby away" idea. Assuming he's a decent father, your baby deserves to have him in her life. Also, courts are much less likely to give full custody to the mother now. 25 years ago, no problem, but now courts recognize the importance of a father in the child's life. Unless there's a real problem with him, most of the time custody is shared, 50/50.

 
Old 06-11-2007, 05:41 AM   #5
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StaceyLee View Post
I know dads have a big say in their children and children are just as much theirs as they are ours, but me being the mother..if I wanna up and leave with my child...don't I have the right?? No offence to any dads out there.
No, you don't have the right to take your child away from her father because you don't get along with him. You can talk to a lawyer and work out visitation and all that, but unless he is abusive to the baby or surrenders his paternal rights, you will not get FULL custody.

 
Old 06-11-2007, 11:26 AM   #6
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

Unless he is a completely unfit father and you can prove it there is no way you will get full custody of your child.

Talk with a lawyer and try to work out a custody/visitation agreement that you can both live with. Most judges will insist upon the father having at the very least one day a week with their child. You also have no right to say that you have to be there when he has his time. That really isn't how things work now. Men have a lot more rights now when it comes to their children, as well they should. Children need a father just as much as they need a mother.

 
Old 06-11-2007, 08:19 PM   #7
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

I didn't mean it to sound like I wanted to take her completely away. He CAN be a good father although he treats her more like a chore than he does his daughter. I intend on doing everything to work the relationship out, I also believe a child needs a father in their life, but we can't get along much lately for many reasons, and although I believe parents living together is best, it also isn't healthy for constant fighting and arguing around her. He's welcome to see dd whenever he pleases, I just want her living arrangements with me if the relationship doesnt work out. I don't know, I guess I'll just suck it up and bite my tongue, as much as I can't stand bf half the time, I'd rather have my dd in my life full time.

 
Old 06-12-2007, 05:08 AM   #8
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Re: What Will Happen With Baby?

Sorry Stacey, I got a different sense from your first post.

With the baby being so young and you being the primary caretaker they wouldn't want to remove her from that environment. Her primary resisdence would most likely be with you. At some point your bf would be able to have her overnight, but he treats her like a chore there is a good chance you two could work something out you are both comfortable with. With a child that young I highly doubt they would make her share equal time at both places if that is what you are worried about.

 
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