It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-14-2007, 03:21 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
parental responsibility

Hi,

I was just wondering if anybody knew about parental responsibility as in my partner and I are not married but he is named as the father and I am thinking of splitting up with him for various reasons.

I was just wondering what happens when both parents have equal responsibility? I was wondering how I would get residence and him to have visitation.

I am not sure of how it works and wondered if anyone had any advise on it.

Much appreciated.

Hayley x

 
Old 06-15-2007, 01:34 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Burnet, Texas USA
Posts: 4,313
Misty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

I do not have the answer for you, however, need clarification as to your statement that he is "named as the father".

Is he the biological father of your child?

Being named as the father and actually being the biological father may make a difference in everything.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-16-2007, 12:34 AM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hi Misty,

Yeah he is the biological father very complicated.

Hayley x

 
Old 06-16-2007, 04:49 AM   #4
Facilitator
(female)
 
Seraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,770
Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hi again, Hayley. Do you have Family Services Departments or the equivalent where you are? They have advisors and counsellors as part of the service. You can go there or ring the help lines and find out all you need to know. Cheers, Sera

 
Old 06-16-2007, 09:39 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
StaceyLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 142
StaceyLee HB User
Re: parental responsibility

let me what you find out, im in a very simular situation.

 
Old 06-17-2007, 01:50 PM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hi Stacey,

All I have found out upto now is just that basically both parents have equal responsibility for their children and that if they don't agree between themselves what they would like for their children then of course it has to go to the court to decide for them.

In order to have the children living with the mother they have to get a residence order which is granted by attending court with the father if he wishes to and then agreeing a contact order for the father thereafter but then it would mean that the father couldn't just take the children it would be only at agreed times and only if the mothers would agree to an additional visit if they wanted to do that.

I just feel like I am not sure what to do on this because I worry if I take my partner to court that he stands a chance of getting them and I want them at home with me, and that if I don't that he can then actually do more than if I had that residence order so I just am not sure just now.

Hope all works out alright for you in the end hope this helps in some way.

Hayley x

 
Old 06-18-2007, 09:47 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
StaceyLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 142
StaceyLee HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayley22 View Post
Hi Stacey,

All I have found out upto now is just that basically both parents have equal responsibility for their children and that if they don't agree between themselves what they would like for their children then of course it has to go to the court to decide for them.

In order to have the children living with the mother they have to get a residence order which is granted by attending court with the father if he wishes to and then agreeing a contact order for the father thereafter but then it would mean that the father couldn't just take the children it would be only at agreed times and only if the mothers would agree to an additional visit if they wanted to do that.

I just feel like I am not sure what to do on this because I worry if I take my partner to court that he stands a chance of getting them and I want them at home with me, and that if I don't that he can then actually do more than if I had that residence order so I just am not sure just now.

Hope all works out alright for you in the end hope this helps in some way.

Hayley x
Hi I'm not sure what your situation is between you and your partner, but I also don't know what to do. As you do, I want my daughter with me, living with me but I'm afraid to do anything and make matters worse or not work out as I want it. At times I think it may be easier just to stay w/ bf and then I know I have my daughter...always. BF is good with DD, him n I just cant get along w/ each other. I wish you the best, thank u for the info.

Good Luck

if i find out something new, i will let u know

 
Old 06-19-2007, 12:23 AM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

yeah me too, it is a case of just leaving and seeing what happens as bf may not want custody and might be able to sort some agreement between you both I guess its depends on how much you can take as in if staying with him makes you unhappy would it be worth staying there but same as me though I would like to guarentee that I would have my children with me but not sure if thats possible.

Hope all works out alright, please feel free to talk about anything it is an awkward situation to be up against!

Hayley x

 
Old 06-19-2007, 12:24 AM   #9
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

oh and thanks if you find out anything please let me know Hayley x

 
Old 06-20-2007, 02:22 PM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 643
isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hi again. As he can drive there is no reason why he couldn't commute to see them at your new town. And it seems you don't want to deny the children their father. I'm not too sure if this is possible reading your other posts!! If you are on income support you will be entitled to legal aid. It is then that it goes to court. The court decides who has the child/children. We had one each! Social services interview both parents on their own and also asks the child where they would like to be. Please be aware that people such as your boyfriend may manipulate your older child and turn her against you, (as my x did. Lied ). He lied in court and got custody of one of them, not because he wanted the best for his child, but because he wanted to hurt me as much as he could. Without a residency order, where that child is at that moment of time, is where that child stays. The police will not get involved. (I've been there, done that). Please be prepared and good luck.

 
Old 06-23-2007, 03:03 PM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hi,

Thankyou for your reply do you mean if I move, and my children are with me that without a residence order thats where they stay?

My children are 2 and 8 weeks old so hopefully as their mum and full time carer as it is I would get them and he would just get contact assuming that he would take it to court but I just worry that he would..

Thanks again

Hayley x

 
Old 06-24-2007, 05:12 AM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 643
isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hayley - I have your best interests at heart, and those of your children. I have been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Both myself and our children have mental health problems because of the psycholgical hell we went through. I would not wish it on anyone, moreso knowing you're a UKer too. I am saying it would be very wise to stay one step ahead of his game and trust me it is a game he is playing and he will play to win. I read that you returned to him and now he is 'better'. I'm very sorry, but my x suddenly 'got better' too, but I know from experience, within days, weeks, when he thinks he has you back, it WILL start all over again.
Firstly - has custody been discusssed?
Would he want them full-time?
I am the mother and did NOT get custody of one of my children!

I'm not suggesting he is definately a psychopath, but I hope you do look it up on the internet. It was only 1 or 2 years ago that I did, (25 years on from meeting x)! that I discovered to what extent I had been fooled. The symptoms fitted him like a glove.

I'll give you a senario of what happened on one occasion. We'd split up and he was being very nice. I dropped the kids off 3 days before xmas and I was to pick them up on xmas eve. He WOULDN'T hand them over. The police were called and they could do nothing, He wasn't breaking the law! I think that was the time he attacked me, then claimed to the police that I had attacked him! Some people are very cunning and are believed by all.
Be on your guard. I would still consider the refuse. It is your ticket out of there and your childrens ticket too. You would probably be rehoused too. Once you have a counsel house, you acan always get an exchange nearer to your family.

 
Old 06-24-2007, 05:21 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: kent
Posts: 1,448
brook65 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Hayley I am in the Uk and split up from my sons dad a long time ago, and we were never married.

Because you were not married, you in law are the prime responsible parrent, your the parent that has full rights over all decisions concerning your kids.. I know that doesn't sound fair for fathers, but thats the law here.

If you want him to have equal rights to yourself, there is a form that you can sign, if thats what you want.


Sorry if I have just repeated whats already been said, I haven't read all replies.

 
Old 06-24-2007, 05:36 AM   #14
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: kent
Posts: 1,448
brook65 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Just wanted to add that you contact the lone parent organisation I won't say the name, as not sure if I am allowed, but it starts with a G and ends with a D - it is a cookie that you eat.

They are very helpful.

 
Old 06-24-2007, 11:32 AM   #15
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: parental responsibility

Brook,

Thankyou for your reply,

It has changed now, because he registered both my children's births with me, it gives him equal responsibility so not sure what that means I have to do now.

Thanks again

Hayley x

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Friendship, love, responsibility polabear Relationship Health 2 09-25-2006 03:52 AM
accept responsibility for manic actions pre diag? madmac Bipolar Disorder 2 07-06-2005 07:16 AM
where does responsibility lie??? PollyPrissyPants Self-injury Recovery 5 01-13-2005 02:34 PM
Discontinuing medicine and patient responsibility plumloco Bipolar Disorder 5 12-03-2004 05:07 PM
responsibility/ guilt ocd brainchild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 7 09-08-2004 06:35 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (8), writeleft (6), rudiraven (4), marisuela (4), Curious One (3), noevr (3), katlin09 (3), jilas0127 (3), Foxxii (3), Beth Ann (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:52 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!