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Old 06-30-2007, 10:15 PM   #1
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Question Need help with teens!

I am a woman married to a guy for one year now(will be official on July 4th, our first anniversary!)
Every summer for the past three summers so far, his kids have visited us and up until this summer I have been getting along with the both of them..i always get a long fairly well with the guy(who is now 18 years old).The daughter, who is 14 years old,.., she has changed.!!!!..I don't know if it has a lot to do with her brother leaving home because he cannot stand his own bio mom..(she is a really mean woman.family and friends think it is possible she has bi-polar but I don't think that she is willing to think this way...so she bullies her kids and even the hubby whom she is with now!)She and her hubby have nearly split several times...it has been a rocky road sometimes for both of the kids! But, they have managed to do okay...the 18 year old has severe a.d.d.(so does my hubby and I..and more than likely the rest of his kids and grandchildren from his other family as well!) But, the 18 year old has done a few things that weren't so hot,and ended up in jail..and his mom decided NOT to be there for him. My hubby tries to be there, as much as he can..even if we live about two to three thousand miles away! His bio mom though is NOT nice..I don't know her..but, I have certainly heard her attitude over the phone! It is highly UNpleasant...(I don't ever, ever get involved though...this is NOT my concern..and I am well aware of this!!)
But, what I am trying to deal with is the daughter at this writing ...I have the "chatterbox syndrome" of the a.d.d. part..and I get myself "into trouble" everytime they visit...I try to stop my mouth from "babbling" as my hubby puts it...I try to stay quiet unless I DO have something to say..but, when I do open my mouth, I am STILL accused of "babbling" even from the daughter! I can't tell you just how frustrating this is...MY own family says that I talk too much..nearly everybody I have known or know..still says this...(this is partly a huge problem for me..with the kids and hubby now) and also, just NOT getting along with the daughter...as she is torn when she hears her brother talk cruelly against her mother...(as he no longer lives with the family anymore!)oh, and just in general, I don't seem to being able to get along with her at all..she is totally into checking her cell phone all of the time..and into her dad or her brother and now ignoring me, alot now, more than ever..and she won't open up and talk to me, like she did before..(we used to be able to talk and walk and just have a nice time..but, it is sooooo different for me now! I feel a smidge guilty, but, I feel like maybe they should go home! ya know? They will be here another week and a few days...then they are not here..and I hate feeling these feelings..but, I am unsure of what to do here.My hubby keeps saying "just don't TRY too hard.!"..to me so I keep backing off...but, I also get joked with(they will call my name and then say "Sucks!") that is the new "in joke" here! or at least for them,that is.
I also don't like their music or their movies..(this is sooo typical of the teens and the older people not getting along! I realize this! LOL!) but, I would like to get along with BOTH of them..and it isn't working at all!(well, more for the son..he and I can talk..and get along..he is pretty much a sensitive person...but, she has gotten kind of hard to read!! Should I just throw in the towel, and try to get along with the son, or what?

help!!

anybody have great and or helpful advice here? I don't know what I need to be doing!!!
help!


nightowl2

Last edited by nightowl2; 06-30-2007 at 11:25 PM.

 
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Old 06-30-2007, 10:41 PM   #2
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Re: Need help with teens!

You don't say how old the daughter is, I am guessing 14-15? If so then her behaviour is no worse than most of her age group. In fact you may be reassured that she is treating you the exact way most girls that age deal with their own mothers. Mine certainly did through those few years, and I am seeing it now in my nieces. At family gatherings, we 'adults' give secret awards, such as the Surly Blue Ribbon, and the Medal of Scowl ("Uh-OH, she smiled then, she's out, darn..."). Not to make light of things, but it really sounds drearily normal. Sera

 
Old 06-30-2007, 11:27 PM   #3
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Exclamation Re: Need help with teens!

yes I just edited and added 14 years of age! She wasn't like this before though...I guess either it is family stuff or just her and her hormones! Oh well! I guess I could be in for a rough time (luckily the two of them do not live with us!) I still like them, but ,I just do not like their attitudes!

nightowl2

 
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