Re: Please help 3 year old refusing to poop
Most of the time, when a child refuses to poop on the potty it's because ONE TIME, it hurt them, and that starts a vicious cycle of remembering the hurt, tensing up, and hurting again. I remember when my daughter had a painful poop on the potty, she was so afraid to go again, and would hold it as long as she could, and then she'd have an accident (sounds a little like your son). I finally actually had a long talk with her and explained the whole thing to her (she was 2 1/2, I think it's the stupidest soundintg conversation I have ever had with her, but she either got what I was saying, or put on a good show of it -- either way, it got her ON the potty). I told her that when she did sit on the potty to poop, she could hold my finger and squeeze it as hard as she could when she felt the poops coming out, and even harder if she thought it might hurt, and then maybe if she squeezed hard enough, she could make me fall down. Well, like any typical kid, she loves the thought of inflicting pain on her mommy, so she was actually excited to go poop on the potty, and she was so focused on squeezing my finger and watching me fall down, she didn't think about it hurting, and I made a BIG show about how she pooped on the potty and IT DIDN'T HURT, and I repeated it over and over again, how IT DIDN'T HURT her... just to get it firm in her head, you know? Anyway, she wanted to squeeze my finger for several weeks, and then one day decided she was big enough and didn't need me anymore.
Another thing that helped, was a taller stool that her feet could rest on when she was sitting on the potty. Something about the position made it easier for her I guess?