How to balance my school and my kids' school - Parenting Issues Message Board

Mommyof4 · 12-04-2007, 07:45 AM

I have 4 kids. My oldest is in high school and we are dealing with the bi polar issues mentioned in previous threads. We are in the testing phase where they are trying to decide if she is bi polar or ADD. I have also started nursing school this semester. My younger 3 are in Kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade so they still need me very much when it comes to school.
Last year, I was a SAHM who was the homeroom mother and was very on top of things. This year, things are falling to peices. Chores arent getting done, homework isnt getting done, dinner is eaten by bedtime but that is the only rule where that is concerned.... I am just stinking at this whole thing!
The kindergarten teacher is at her wits end with my son because he wont pay attention and sit still not to mention that I have not been reading with him or making sure that homework gets done. The first grader will probably be tested for gifted and is very self motivated so his work is fine. The 2nd grader is also struggling. My house looks like a tornado hit it and I am just overwhelmed to say the least. Not to mention that I have been to 3 funerals for family members in the last 6 weeks.
Does anyone have any advice for making it all work? I am blessed to have the youngest in afternoon daycare and don't work so I really only have my own schoolwork during the day... Logic tells me that I should not feel this overwhelmed.... Ideas please?!?......BTW, DH is here but doesnt help around the house, is a computer programmer so he has no schedule, and is a serious source of discord right now

galinaqt · 12-04-2007, 09:01 AM

Can you get any help? Do you have a family member who can come and help or hire somebody for a few hours? I know that it is good to have a schedule and I try to set it up so I can deal with my almost 5 year old: study with her and study myself. My neighbour suggested me to put her to bed and go to bed for 30 min than get up and do my stuff. At least she will think that I am sleeping and keep sleeping.
I think in your case you need a hired help. Talk about it with your dh.
BYW I am also computer programmer. I have a schedule and I do a lot of stuff around the house.

Mommyof4 · 12-04-2007, 11:48 AM

Thanks so much for your help. As for Dh's schedule... I guess that was a little unfair to him. He is salary so he doesn't go in at a certain time and come home at a certain time. He is also the IT Director so he has to make sure that all of the other programmers are coming along. He knows that I dont know all of the details of his job so he can just call me and say that he wont be home until late and I dont know enough to question it. He is also in the habit of going in late in the morning which makes him home but not when I need the help. He has always just kind of been on the fringes of the day to day family stuff if that makes any sense.
Next semester might work to do homework with my kids but my major class right now is Anatomy. The things that I need to study are pictures they might find disturbing along with the fact that it is total memorization.
My mom is staying with us right now due to her losing a job where she was a live in caregiver... She lost her job and her home together. She is helping get things cleaned up but then I also have to deal with her blowing up over how bad things have been allowed to get. Since daycare is a new expense for us, hiring someone would be hard financially.
I guess my biggest gripe is everyones attitude that I should still be the complete SAHM even though I am in school full time now... Anyway, thanks again. It really does help to know that I am not alone in this

happymom28 · 12-04-2007, 01:26 PM

Is your mother looking for a new job right now? I only ask because, what if she became your afterschool care and helped around the house? I don't expect her to do it for nothing, but perhaps if this is something she is willing to do you could pay her what you are paying for daycare. I don't know, just a thought.

galinaqt · 12-04-2007, 01:56 PM

I am working as a programmer for 11 years and know pretty good what is going on. Some shops are pushing people very hard, some less, some have periods. In my mind your dh taking advantage that you don't know his job. He can do more. What can you do. My mother was same way. You can't change the person. He probably makes enough money to get more help for you.
With parents it is tuff. My father was helping me with the baby, but he is critisizing everything he could the minute I step in the door.
I am sorry that you are not surrounded by people who cared about you and put family interests first.
It is good for you to study in the library outside the house. You can do more without be bothered by anybody. Set up yourself a schedule to go to the library when you mother is watching kids.