I have a teen daughter that has not been participating in life. She's been not motivated to do anything with herself since 11yrs old. She won't go to school. She doesn't do alot of teen girl stuff. She involved with a 24yr old man. That has some mental problems he acts like a teenager himself. She hasn't been participating in her life for quite sometime, because she says she just doesn't know why. I have taken her to doctors, pschiatrist, pastors and various relative, friends and even strangers to try to help her to talk to somebody about what is going on with her. I don't claim to be word's best mom. I just a mom doing the best I can to make it in this world. She a good person. To know her is to love her, but there is a darkside. She blows up when confronted with lies. She steals. When she's good she good, but when she's bad she doesn't care until after she wants to admit she's wrong! The she's sweet as can be very remorseful! I love my daughter and want more for her then she wants for herself. She's my baby and I don't want to loss her to voilence, jail or death! Maybe somebody can help me help her! God Bless and keep all that read this!
I have a teen daughter too and it hasn't been an easy 3 years or so with her. I failed to see the fact that she was changing and that caused me endless grief. My daughter was also a good kid, but it was like she changed overnight. She ran away, stole, only the once thank goodness, wouldn't go to school, turned so nasty and dated a man much older than herself. She was lost, couldn't find her place and could not even explain why she'd turned as she did. It was her way of coping.......not wanting to admit she did have alot of issues. She got into drugs, influenced by her brother, who she always looked up to. He made the illogical of any conversation logical, manipulated her reasoning! 3 years on, our relationship has never been stonger. She now sees her brother for what he is, an addict, she's dumped the long term boyfriend and she's ready to receive help. My daughter has only now admitted that she pretended to be happy for years, putting on a false face, when there was so much hurt going on and I failed to see it because I was too busy with my own issues. And I've learnt from exprience not to bottle things up because all she was doing was following by my example. The good person will appear again in time and when it does, you'll be one happy mum.
I'm wondering how old your daughter is now since this has been going on since she was 11. I too know what's it like. You can cry, worry, talk, screem, have every emotion known to man; but it won't help. Don't worry about not being the perfect parent, no one is!
With my personal story, I think it's difficult to get help for someone if they don't want to get it or don't see that they have a problem. They need to want help in order to really receive it. Many times that means a person needs to hit rock bottom in order to wake up. Even talking to someone (as you said she has) doesn't do any good if the person doesn't see they need it or doesn't want it.
My daughter had 1 1/2 years of counseling and meds to get her through her issues, (depression/anxiety). It was a nightmare and took a toll of the entire family, but there can be light at the end of the tunnel.
I would suggest trying counseling again. You need to find the core of the problem, how this began. Maybe if you see a sign from way back when, that can be of help with a counselor. They know where to begin if your daughter isn't cooperating. Wishing you all the best.
I also am wondering how old your daughter is. I haven’t had the luxury of having to deal with a teenage girl yet as my daughter is only 5 but it will come sooner or later. I have to agree with counseling may be helpful for her to join a group with other girls her age with similar problems considering that the other have changed their ways or are on their way so she will not gang up with them and cause double trouble. Teenage girls are resilient and stubborn and do not accept help well from adults. Maybe if she was to see others regaining their independence and taking advantage of their second opportunity for a successful life, she may find a positive group and begin to heal. Hey, it may even help her to be there for a friend and give her confidence and true understanding of what she needs to do for herself. Good luck
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Time does not heal. It simply provides distraction.
Hi Mel, your post makes it sound like your daughter's father isn't around? Could this be an issue for her? Is this older man a father figure for her or something?
Keep her around possitive people. continue to dissapline. Rewarding her when she's good, and using the rod of correction when she is not so good. Continue to give her attention, and at the same time, give her her space to pout, not smothering her. Raising children is a tight-wire act, but we can make it if we stick to our guns!
Tough love has to be applied when necessary. I have a 19 year old daughter, and a 15 year old son. Beleive me, I know what you're going thru. Be encouraged.
mother of teen in need of advice! 
