It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-03-2008, 06:43 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

 
Old 02-04-2008, 07:23 AM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 41
mary023 HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Hmm, llarkin, the first thing to do is to pinpoint maybe reasons in why he might be doing so. There can be many factors....

1) Is he in a daycare/school in which things might be overwhelming or possible other children picking on him.
2) Have things changed in your home recently?
3) Does he have other siblings and might feel left out and this could be a means of attention even if its negative attention?
4) Have you talked to his doctor to see if he has a bladder control problem or maybe he has sensory issue in which he doesn't feel the sensation to urinate until its too late?
5) Does he do it every time or just at certain points throughout the day?

I think once you pin point the nature cause of the problem, maybe it will help you address it with a solution.

I hope this helps....

Good luck and let us know how it goes...

~M~

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-04-2008, 08:46 AM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary023 View Post
Hmm, llarkin, the first thing to do is to pinpoint maybe reasons in why he might be doing so. There can be many factors....

1) Is he in a daycare/school in which things might be overwhelming or possible other children picking on him.
2) Have things changed in your home recently?
3) Does he have other siblings and might feel left out and this could be a means of attention even if its negative attention?
4) Have you talked to his doctor to see if he has a bladder control problem or maybe he has sensory issue in which he doesn't feel the sensation to urinate until its too late?
5) Does he do it every time or just at certain points throughout the day?

I think once you pin point the nature cause of the problem, maybe it will help you address it with a solution.

I hope this helps....

Good luck and let us know how it goes...

~M~
Hi Mary,

I've already tried two doctors. They say nothing medically is wrong with him. He has no siblings. He is an only child. He is in Kindegarten now but he's been doing this since about 4 years old. He actually was potty trained and was doing everything perfect. I do talk to him about it. He is aware of what and when he is doing it. He says he does it because he doesn't want to stop the fun he is having just to go to the bathroom because it's boring. I believe him. My problem is trying to convince him that the way he handles it is not the correct way to handle it. He is an extremely happy child. In fact we call him "giggles".. and he loves when we do. For the first year i've tried only positive reinforcement. It rarely worked. Now i am punishing him. ie.. whatever he is playing with when he pees in his pants i take away. The problem with that is he's too smart. He figured out, when he is finished playing with the toy, then he tells me he's wet. So it doesn't matter if i take it away. uggghhhh..... NOthing seems to phase him. I don't know what else to do.

Any ideas?
-L

 
Old 02-04-2008, 09:33 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

How about telling him that if he is going to act like a baby that he cannot have any of the benefits that young boys have? Have you told him that he stinks? Maybe have him clean himself up all by himself? Does he only do it at home?

 
Old 02-04-2008, 10:16 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Oddly enough the pee just gets all soaked into his pants and underpants, so there really isn't ever any mess to clean off the floor. As soon as i notice what he's done, i tell him to go to his room, change his clothes and bring the dirty ones into the laundry room. I can't even begin to tell you how much laundry i do because of this. Some days are great and some days he's just real lazy. He constantly has to be reminded to use the bathroom. His teacher figured this out from the beginning of the year and she is excellent on reminding him. I remind him constantly as well. His excuse is always.."he didn't want to stop what he was doing to go to the bathroom".

 
Old 02-04-2008, 10:44 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

I know that a person won't change his behavior until consequences make them. I am trying to think of some consequences which will make him uncomfortable enough to change his behavior. How about making him stay in his wet pants and he has to sit on plastic or something? Is there something that can be taken away if he wets that day?

 
Old 02-04-2008, 10:56 AM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

It's funny you say that. That's where i'm at now. This has been going on for a year now and i haven't yet found the consequence that will make him stop. For my son, this is the only thing he has total control over... and i'm sure he realizes that. Which could just be my answer. This may sound strange but yesterday we were so frustrated, that we made him take his pants and underpants off and wouldn't give him pants. We thought we finally had it solved. He hated the fact that he couldn't wear pants and he was embarassed. Well, guess what..that soon turned into sillyness and he also peed on the floor while playing with his legos and then tells me 10 minutes later. My husband and I were shocked. He is a very well behaved little boy with a very strong mind. He's not at all the uncontrollable type. We do time-outs if we have to and he really is very kind. People love him. That's why i'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do about this.

thank you for helping me with this

 
Old 02-04-2008, 11:10 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Do you really think that this is a control issue? If so is there some other areas where you can give him more control? Any room anywhere to give him choices?

 
Old 02-04-2008, 11:51 AM   #9
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

The control issue is the only thing i can think of. I've tried everything else. It may not be a bad idea giving him a little bit more control with certain things. Maybe if he realizes he has acquired control with a few other things this may not mean so much to him anymore. I have to think about this.

thanks

 
Old 02-04-2008, 02:33 PM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 41
mary023 HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Quote:
Originally Posted by llarkin View Post
The control issue is the only thing i can think of. I've tried everything else. It may not be a bad idea giving him a little bit more control with certain things. Maybe if he realizes he has acquired control with a few other things this may not mean so much to him anymore. I have to think about this.

thanks
I think you might be on to something here. With my son, whom is 5 as well, there was a constant struggle when it came to bath time. He didn't want to stop what he was doing to go get in the tub. So, I basically started giving him a choice. I would say," do you want to take a bath at 8 or 815". Mostly he would say 815. When the time came, all I had to say was it was 815 bath time and never heard a complaint. I also do that when its bedtime. It elimates the power struggle. He feels in control and yet I still win. Maybe its worth a try. Try putting a schedule together and giving him choices. Also, as far as the soiled clothes, next time, make him clean them in the sink...of course with your assistances. I did it when my son would have accidents in his underwear. It took only 2 times. One time he looked up at me and said this is gross. My reply was, yeah, now you know how I feel.

Good luck....

 
Old 02-04-2008, 06:28 PM   #11
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Tonight for the first time i gave the chore of his wet laundry to him. At first he did not like it at all....touching all the wet clothes. I thought he might have gotten the point because he did appreciate how "gross" it was. When i made him put the wet clothes in the dryer, he balled each piece up and threw them in one by one screaming "cannonball!!!!! ". Again, he made light of the situation. Nothing bothers him. But, i'm not going to give up on this one. I'm hoping this gets "old" to him and he starts to get annoyed.

I will try setting "times" for him with bed time and bathtime. Maybe he will feel more in control that way and not concentrate on the bathroom issue so much.

thanks so much for your idea He is sleeping now.. Tomorrow will be another day

 
Old 02-05-2008, 07:01 AM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Another thing that I did to give my children more control was when I wanted them to do something I would say "I need you to ......" Saying it this way instead of saying "Do this" makes them feel like they have a choice. "She is saying that she needs me to do it, she isn't telling me to, so I have the choice to do it or not. I'll do it". When they wouldn't do it I would just continue to tell them that I needed them to do it. I would only have to say it three times at most and they would do it most of the time. I never raised my voice. If I knew something would be a struggle I would set up a reward afterwards. I would say that they couldn't watch TV or we couldn't go out until it was done, etc.

 
Old 02-05-2008, 08:33 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,338
rudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB Userrudiraven HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Hi, Thought I'd put my "2 cents worth" in with a suggestion. Have you tried shaming him? I know it's not a popular thing nowadays, but maybe if you tell him he's acting like a baby and has to go back into diapers it would embarrass him enough to start using the bathroom like a big boy. Tell him big boys like Daddy or Grandpa or any other male figure he admires, (even action heroes),don't pee in their pants only little babies do that and if he want to be a baby you'll put diapers back on him. Good luck!! and remember he'll finally stop this before he graduates high school

 
Old 02-07-2008, 01:27 PM   #14
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Hi again,

I've been a bit busy, so i couldn't reply yesterday. But i've began to try something different. I gave my son the choice to "act like a 5 year old" or "act like a 3 year old". If he pees in his pants he is acting like a 3 year old and he should be treated like a 3 year old. ie...earlier bedtime, also 3 year old's aren't capable of doing the same things as 5 year old's. I'm hoping the element of surprise in what i take away or decide next will get to him. Last night i made him go to bed early. This morning, i took a movie away from him. He gets real upset but the point is being driven home. I haven't seen any improvement, but i think he's just being stubborn. I'm going to stick to this for a little while and see how it goes.

 
Old 02-07-2008, 01:30 PM   #15
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ny, ny usa
Posts: 9
llarkin HB User
Re: how do i stop my 5 year old from urinating in his pants

Yes i have already tried shaming him.... good idea though And the whole diaper thing, he just looked at it as an easy way out. Can you believe this !!! Nothing phases him enough to last. I tried something new... treating him like a 3 year old instead of a 5 year old, because he is acting like a 3 year old when he wets his pants. No success yet, but he does get upset with the consequence....finally. I think it's because it's something different every time and it's basically a surprise every time. I'm hoping this works. Wish me luck

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
10 year old son wont stop soiling self Mommy24monkeys Bowel Disorders 5 09-25-2009 09:14 AM
my 4 year old wont quit touching her private parts mooncrossed Parenting Issues 1 03-08-2009 11:06 PM
how can i get my 4 year old to stop peeing her pants lorri50 Parenting Issues 1 01-24-2009 05:48 AM
How to stop being needy? VoodooQueen Relationship Health 6 02-01-2008 03:36 PM
How do I get my four-year-old to stop urinating in her pants? abhbfs Children's Health 2 11-15-2007 07:46 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (8), writeleft (6), rudiraven (4), marisuela (4), Curious One (3), noevr (3), katlin09 (3), jilas0127 (3), Foxxii (3), Beth Ann (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (905), Titchou (848), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:35 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!