my son is 10yrs old and has never slept by himself.when he was small andwas ready to go into his own room i had to lie with him until he fell asleep. he would wake up in the night screaming and giving out that i left him.7yrs on and hes still the same. he told me that hes scared to be on his own. im inclined to believe him b\c he wont even go upstairs to the toilet by himself and if i have to leave him in his room for even a second he hides under the blanket. this is putting a big strain on me and his dads relationship as you could gather. is there anybody out there with this same problem? I keep telling myself it wont last forever but its starting to annoy me. he wont even stay in anybodys house. if we are out anywhere and he needs the bathroom (if dads not with us }he gets me to sneak him into the female toilet so that i can be there with him.hes a very confident boy but is very nervous being on his own. any insight
its only a night hes fine during the day he plays with his friends and everything he does is normal. but the problem is if he has to go upstairs for something he wont go on his own. at night time when its time for bed i have to go in front of him and hel stand at the bedroom door and wait till i put on the light. im always telling him he has nothing to be afraid of.im at my wits end i wonder how old hel be before he goes to bed on his own and sleep like any other child. i realise hes nearly at puberty but what do i do
forgot to mension. its just that something i forgot until i seen him outside playing. when hes at school he would have about 3 very good friends that he talks about regular they are all the same age as him. but when hes at home he prefers to play with the younger group aged between 5 and 7 i wonder is it that he hasnt really matured as a 10yr should be. or am i looking for excuses for him.
Your son obviously has some fears that are very real to him. I think at his age the only thing you can do is show tough love. Don't go up with him to the bathroom and dont stay with him until he falls asleep. Reassure him that everything is fine, you are just downstairs if he needs you, and that there is nothing to be afraid of. He needs to understand that at his age he has to start doing these things independantly.
If you keep doing what your doing it could lead to problems into adulthood. He needs to devellop the skill of dealing with his fears on his own now or else he never will. I know it will be very hard for him at first but you NEED to stand your ground and stay firm for your child's sake!
If this keeps up and he still seems extremely traumatized after a few weeks of tough love, I would most definately consult a pshyciatrist. Good luck! Keep us posted!
thanks very much for your replys i think il make an appointment with the doctor tomorow to get some help with this. as he is still wetting the bed as well and wears them dry nights hes a big lad and looks more than 10 people take him for a 13yr old. he knows himself that i shouldnt sleep in his room because iv heard him telling his friend that he sleeps in the biggest room. i only got the bottle of him 2yrs ago hed only drink one at night but he looked so riduculous but he didnt care as long as nobody but me and his dad knew.your all right i think its time to do something.its just that when your doing something for so long it becomes a habit