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Old 01-01-2009, 04:18 PM   #1
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klava HB User
32 year old daughter still living with parents

She's not my daughter, she's my sister. On one hand, I can't complain about her because I lived with my parents until I was 30, but there was a difference - I was at war with my mother since I was 15, and it was not a pleasant experience. My sister has been complacent with her parents, basically the 3 of them are the best buddies. At 30, I moved very far away and I don't see my family often. I was a late bloomer and had kids by 40 years old. I don't know if my sister thinks she still has time, looking at me. It's getting weird receiving pictures of the three of them vacationing in Spain, Italy etc. My sister has always been much better looking than myself, she's a tall thin blond type. My parents had her later in life, and it seems like a symbiosis - my parents are grateful they have a daughter to take care of (since they can't see my kids, their grandkids, often), and my sister is feeling pretty comfortable protected and given means of living (I'm not sure if she's had a full-time job ever). To me, she seems to be the same 18 year old that I saw last when I left, but surely she must have a mind of 32 year old by now. I know it's her business, but it's getting weirder by the year. I already had a couple of relationships by her age, though I was a late bloomer. Just throwing it all out there, to see what opinions it may arouse.

 
Old 01-02-2009, 05:25 PM   #2
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Re: 32 year old daughter still living with parents

I have mixed feelings about this subject. I was married and out of the house by 20, marrying a man who's job requires us to be moving around a lot and not getting to see my family as much as I would have liked but it also gave me a whole new perception of life. My brother lived with my parents on and off til he was about 30 and took advantage of my parents graciousness by helping them with nothing, wrecking 2 of their vehicles and expecting my mom to do everything for him; this angered me but I kept telling my mother that she was letting this happen and she was so fed up one day she packed his stuff and set it on the porch----he never lived with them again. On to my in-laws have their 38 year old son who lives with them and had a mother-in-law type home built (about 3 years ago) in their back yard (yes yard, they have no acreage it's just a large yard) for their 45 year old daughter and granddaughter----supposedly they are paying for it and not the parents. Anyhow my mother-in-law cooks and they come to eat, one time we were there and my sister-in-law said she was going grocery shopping and grabbed stuff from their house. Weird and so inappropriate! My brother-in-law is said to have a head injury (never been able to medically prove this!) and not be right in the head, well I don't buy it----i think they have enabled him to live the way he does; never keeps a job long and very immature. As for my sister-in-law, well she likes to stir the pot and is always seeking pity. It is none of my business but either but at times it's frustrating; when they complain about things, bad information is shared and gets people upset. My husband does not say much to his parents about it because it is their choice to live that way-----sometimes they regret no privacy and still having to take care of their adult childrent. With that said, we have lived in places where it is 'normal' to have 3 or 4 generations in a home but it is not so accepted by us-----it works for them and is done for numerous reasons. I can see where you are coming from but if they are happy then you should just let it be, you have every right to feel as you do but it sounds like it is something you will have to deal with yourself (I know from experience). Now if they are complaining about the living arrangements to you then I'd be annoyed but if they aren't then so be it. Hopefully I made sense and didn't babble on too much, I look forward to reading more responses for others as well as you! Happy New Year and take care.

Last edited by andiesq70; 01-02-2009 at 05:37 PM.

 
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Old 01-02-2009, 06:28 PM   #3
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klava HB User
Re: 32 year old daughter still living with parents

You are right, this is a different culture, not the culture that expects children to leave at 18. Often, there are plain dwelling limitations so the 3 generations can live in one apartment. The 3 of them seem to be happy (knowing my mother, she may be nagging my sister of finding a mate). I don't know, maybe I want my kids to have cousins, and I tried to give my sister a head start (ha ha) so our kids won't be too far apart in age like us sisters, yet it seems to be coming to that. If ever. Then again, I myself was free-wheeling, learning about the world till I was 38, so why should I expect any different from my sister. Thank you for your sharing.

 
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