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Old 05-01-2009, 09:41 PM   #1
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Problem with my daughter's 7 year old friend...

I'm going to make a long story short because I'm kind of upset right now.
My husband's best friend has a 7 year old daughter and we have a 6 year old, and these two play with each other very often. This girl is very provoking and likes to purposely irritate my daughter. For example, when my daughter is over HER house, Kelly(her friend) often starts and pick fights by calling her names. My daughter (Maria) would come home to tell me things Kelly says to her, but I didn't really pay much mind to it because we are such good friends with their family, I attributed the behavior to be normal kid stuff but it seems to be getting out of hand. The other night, Kelly was singing "Maria is stupid, Maria is ugly" like making up songs....and putting my daughter down. Maria was upset when she came home and told me this and also said Kelly had pushed her. I finally stepped up to the plate and texted the girl's father telling him that if she doesn't stop this behavior, Maria isn't allowed to play with her. BTW, Kelly never wants to come over here because she can't dominate here, that's the feeling I'm getting. My husband AND her father disagree with me and thinks that kids will be kids...and that what her daughter IS DOING IS NORMAL and he doesn't even pay attention to it? We were discussing this in person today. I said "well I don't care if it's kids or not she's 7 and old enough to know that saying those things isn't a nice thing to do to your friend. I told her parents that she(kelly) has to say sorry to my daughter in order to be friends with her again. My husband thinks I'm overreacting. I'm making this thread because I want to know if you readers think that I am over reacting? Do kids really do this stuff? That's bad for a little kids psyche for their good friend to be singing songs saying she's stupid and ugly don't you think?? I can't believe her father THINKS this is NORMAL?

Comments or criticism is welcome...TIA

 
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:07 PM   #2
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Re: Problem with my daughter's 7 year old friend...

No, you are not overreacting. The girl is a bully and her father is not doing her a favor by reacting the way he does. Please protect your daughter from the bully. She is definitely old enough to know the meaning of the words she is singing. What I would do if I were you is say that the girls can play, but only in your house. In that way you'll be able to monitor what is going on. Don't let your daughter go to the girl's house and be bullied.
I agree that kids should solve their own issues, but what you are describing is clear bullying and as a mother, you need to protect your child.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 10:32 PM   #3
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Re: Problem with my daughter's 7 year old friend...

Quote:
Originally Posted by negot View Post
No, you are not overreacting. The girl is a bully and her father is not doing her a favor by reacting the way he does. Please protect your daughter from the bully. She is definitely old enough to know the meaning of the words she is singing. What I would do if I were you is say that the girls can play, but only in your house. In that way you'll be able to monitor what is going on. Don't let your daughter go to the girl's house and be bullied.
I agree that kids should solve their own issues, but what you are describing is clear bullying and as a mother, you need to protect your child.
Yep I tried having the girl come over here but she doesn't want to anymore. I think because I monitor them more closely and know what's going on. I had a feeling something wasn't right about the little girl, but as I said, I'd HATE to start a rivalry with the whole family (which currently seems to be the case )because we knew them for so long. I'm not as close with them as my husband is however. He grew up with them. He said that I'm "embaressing him." Heh, well I'm sorry but I don't want my daughter to believe in ANY way that she's ugly OR stupid...no way! This girl LOVES to play with my daughter though... she wants to be around her all the time. When I pick her up she begs me to allow Maria to stay longer... and also asks for her to sleep over alot as well. And when she's home from school, she would want to play with my daughter for all hours of the day everyday till she sleeps...I mean it seems like she really hates to be alone. I don't know if any of you get deep into astrology but they are both libras and libras don't like to be alone, as in they love to socialize with friends and always wants them around. This girl Kelly's ascendant is aries.
Thanks for the reply.

Last edited by Jess75; 05-01-2009 at 10:50 PM.

 
Old 05-07-2009, 11:57 AM   #4
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Re: Problem with my daughter's 7 year old friend...

No, you are not overreacting. I have an 8 year old and if she or any of her friends did that to each other, there would be consequences. It is bullying, plain and simple. It can escalate when adults ignore the problem. You are doing the right thing. Trust your gut.

 
Old 05-09-2009, 12:56 PM   #5
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Re: Problem with my daughter's 7 year old friend...

My daughter's 8, and if she was calling her friend stupid and ugly, she'd get in big trouble for it. You're not over reacting. We have to have a talk to our daughter because she doesn't know how to be polite and say goodbye when she's going in the house for the evening. She leaves her friend standing there, wondering where she went.
It's normal for kids to fight, but not saying things like that. That's just plain hurtful and damaging.
I think the other parents should take some more responsibility and concern on what their daughter is doing.

 
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