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Old 11-06-2009, 02:30 PM   #1
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13 Year Old Step Son

I have posted before about the troubles I have with my 13 year old step son. He decided to live with us and go to school in our area. He was living with his mom for the past 12 years. His friends at his mom's house were very bad influences which caused him to get suspended from school. Now that he lives with us he finally made honor roll for the first time in his life. I have given him all kinds of support and the feeling of acceptance while he is living here. I feel he doesn't care about me - I am not trying to replace him as a mother only helping him out. He used to be such a sweet boy but now that he turned older he acts so different. He is so mean to my kids which he is related to, stepbrother and stepsister. He tells my 8 year daughter that he will go bike riding with her and then decides to just take off with his friends all of the sudden. You have to make him talk to you because he won't. I could walk around this house for weeks and he would never say one word to me. He never tells his dad that he loves him. We never did anything to him. If anything he has a nice life. If I died he would never notice. I feel kinda hurt because I support him all the way and he is rude and selfish. My husband says I am too sensitive. I just want a kind and nice family. I know siblings fight but he just too extreme.

My daughter tried to hug him and he got mad. When he met up with his friends and this girl who was a friend wen to hug him he loved it. He talks up a storm when his friends are around but quiet around us. Like he leads a double life. I feel used. Sometimes I wish he wasn't here because he keeps disturbing the calm household I have. Like my kids are homeschooled and they love it. He keeps teasing them saying they don't have any friends because they homeschool. He just bothers them and causes disruption in my house. Everyone was quiet before he came along. Then he goes around saying "he is superb and great" - what do I do I feel like a prisoner in my home.

 
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:19 AM   #2
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Re: 13 Year Old Step Son

You are enjoying the typical "teenager" syndrome. Some push your buttons and others do not. You apparently have one that likes to push buttons!!

Do not take his actions as not caring about you. Most likely he does not treat his birth mother any better.

His dad should gently/properly guide/communicate with his son.

Your husband is the one to discipline his son and should make it clear that tormenting his siblings will not be tolerated. What you deem to be tormenting may not appear to be that to your husband. The two of you will have to work this out between you, not in earshot of the kids.

 
Old 11-07-2009, 05:03 PM   #3
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Re: 13 Year Old Step Son

Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty800 View Post
You are enjoying the typical "teenager" syndrome. Some push your buttons and others do not. You apparently have one that likes to push buttons!!

Do not take his actions as not caring about you. Most likely he does not treat his birth mother any better.

His dad should gently/properly guide/communicate with his son.

Your husband is the one to discipline his son and should make it clear that tormenting his siblings will not be tolerated. What you deem to be tormenting may not appear to be that to your husband. The two of you will have to work this out between you, not in earshot of the kids.

Your right - today it broke my heart when my son came to me and said "I can't wait till my brother goes home he is so mean to me" and my daughter said "he pushed me last night and all I was doing was talking to him." Today I spent no time with my husband because all my husband did today was take him to the game and then took him home. I had to leave for the day because I can stand it anymore. Family time is gone now. He made fun of my 6 year son because he plays webkinz and I had to correct him on that. I just feel like a prisoner in my own home.

 
Old 11-08-2009, 04:48 PM   #4
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Re: 13 Year Old Step Son

Its hard to put two families into one home and live happily ever after..that only happens in storie tales..you just need to remeber that its just as hard on him as it is on you and your children...he probably does care for you but maybe he just doesnt know how to show you ..mab he is affraid of being rejected by you..as far as your children goes teenagers are funny creatures of course he wants to be hugged by a teenage girl..but a younger sister..YUCK..!! he has to be cool...mabe he was never shown love by his birth mother and is not sure how to deal with it..keep telling him you love him daily it will sink in someday and iam sure someday he will thank you for all you do for him...keep your head up things will get better..

 
Old 11-18-2009, 03:52 PM   #5
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Re: 13 Year Old Step Son

I don't know much about combining families together that already have kids. But my son changed drastically and we found out he was taking drugs. We were a close family; he was charming, funny and talkative. Now he is secretive, totally self-centered, sometimes disrespectful and mean. I know it's not the real him, but drugs (and alcohol) can drastically change someone's personality. I attend Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings. The average age that kids go from sweet to having an "attitude" was about 15 years old. So young. Keep telling him you love him, keep reminding him to treat others with respect. It's not a suggestion, but a request for peace in your household. I've hard by age 25 the brain is more developed and teens become human again. I sure hope that's true and that we can all last that long. LOL Good luck!

 
Old 11-20-2009, 12:53 PM   #6
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Re: 13 Year Old Step Son

Relax, he's 13.... Sheesh. Sounds like he's a pretty good kid, when you consider what some 13 year olds are doing these days.

 
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