It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-18-2010, 01:06 PM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 5
wbdeford HB User
Teen Driving long distance

What kinds of limits should be set on a 17 year old's distance driving? My daughter wants to take a 10 hour trip by herself, and she wants to bring two younger children back with her, ages 13 and 12 (her sister and brother).

Should this be allowed under any circumstances? I say she shouldn't be allowed to take this trip by herself or be allowed to transport her siblings, but her mom says she should. Who is right?

Thanks!

 
Old 05-19-2010, 02:13 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 702
marisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

I would say absolutely NOT. 17 is way too young and immature to handle the harsh demands of such a long trip. A 10 hour drive is extremely difficult to manage, especially alone!

There is the whole issue of safety while driving (staying awake at the wheel being #1, any road construction, weather conditions, other drivers, etc....). Then you have the issue of safety at any stops she might make.... what if she gets tired and needs to pull over for a quick nap, or needs to stop for a bathroom break? Where would she stop, and how safe would she be there? And of course, what if she ran into car trouble or had an accident?

Would she be mature enough to exercise the right level of caution that is needed in such situations? Or like most teens her age, would she have that, "It would never happen to me...." attitude?

And then how long would she stay wherever she was going? Would it be drive there 10 hours, grab the kids and then drive back home? Would she be attempting a 20 hour drive in less than 48 hours? That can only lead to disaster.

As one who frequently makes an 8 hour drive back and forth from my home to my parents' home, I absolutely know how grueling that kind of drive can be, and it's not one that a 17 year old is mature enough to handle. No matter how responsible she might be at home, she's just not experienced enough for a trip like that. I'd say definitely NOT without a parent.

Last edited by marisuela; 05-19-2010 at 02:21 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-19-2010, 02:24 PM   #3
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 5
wbdeford HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Marisuela,

Thanks for your input. She also has problems with attitudes towards speed and following distance. She had one accident from excessive speed and another was a rear end collision. Her license was restricted for 45 days a few months ago. But she insists she is a good driver and her mother has written a letter saying she has permission to do the drive. We are divorced, so there isn't much I can do about it....

Thanks again for your input.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marisuela View Post
I would say absolutely NOT. 17 is way too young and immature to handle the harsh demands of such a long trip. A 10 hour drive is extremely difficult to manage, especially alone!

There is the whole issue of safety while driving (staying awake at the wheel being #1, any road construction, weather conditions, other drivers, etc....). Then you have the issue of safety at any stops she might make.... what if she gets tired and needs to pull over for a quick nap, or needs to stop for a bathroom break? Where would she stop, and how safe would she be there? And of course, what if she ran into car trouble or had an accident?

Would she be mature enough to exercise the right level of caution that is needed in such situations? Or like most teens her age, would she have that, "It would never happen to me...." attitude?

And then how long would she stay wherever she was going? Would it be drive there 10 hours, grab the kids and then drive back home? Would she be attempting a 20 hour drive in less than 48 hours? That can only lead to disaster.

As one who frequently makes an 8 hour drive back and forth from my home to my parents' home, I absolutely know how grueling that kind of drive can be, and it's not one that a 17 year old is mature enough to handle. No matter how responsible she might be at home, she's just not experienced enough for a trip like that. I'd say definitely NOT without a parent.

 
Old 05-19-2010, 03:08 PM   #4
Veteran
(male)
 
Diverdan8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 302
Diverdan8 HB UserDiverdan8 HB UserDiverdan8 HB UserDiverdan8 HB UserDiverdan8 HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Hey i have to agree that she should not be able aloud to drive for that amount of time on her own. Im only 19 and the max i have driven at the age of 17 was for 3 hours and on the way there is was ok but on the way back with the rain and rush hour traffic it was hard mentally and very tiring. I was with a friend and glad of it for someone to chat to, to help keep awake. At the time i had done an advanced driving course and part of a police training course like all police rapid response drivers do.

This is alittle unfair because i dont know her but. Given her driving track recored E.G. restricted licence It makes it a bigger no.

Quote:
her mother has written a letter saying she has permission to do the drive. We are divorced, so there isn't much I can do about it....
If she is your daughter and she is in your care then you are responsible for her and have the ability to stop her if feel it is unsafe for her to do so, she is below the age of 18 so therefore in the eyes of the law she is still a minor. It is better for your daughter to say some nasty things to you for not letting her drive and you ex on the phone and your daughter to live than to let her go and maybe not.

Have you thought about going with her?

Something i got tort on one of the driving course mainly for the older people and for long journeys was if you dont think you could do then someone with less driving experience is unlikely to be able to do it safely.

 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:36 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 702
marisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

I don't know what your arrangements are with your daughter, or your ex, but it's definitely something worth fighting for. I know you don't want your daughter to be angry with you and all that, but I'd suggest you do everything in your power to stop her from going on this trip without an adult. Like the other poster said, it's better for her to be alive and angry with you, than the alternative.

Can you or her mother make the drive with her?

 
Old 05-20-2010, 03:45 AM   #6
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 5
wbdeford HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Unfortunately, my daughter won't listen to anything I say because she's at an age where she thinks she knows far more than she really does, and her mother is afraid she will run away if any limits are placed on her. I was planning to drive her down there but she insists on driving herself, and since her mom has custody there isn't much I can do.

 
Old 05-20-2010, 07:45 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 702
marisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB Usermarisuela HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

My brother is divorced and he has similar struggles with his ex-wife and their daughter (fortunately she's still young and getting earrings is their big issue at the moment!)..... so I can only imagine your frustration with the situation!

My only other suggestion is to show her the posts on here and let her know from other people's words just how hard that kind of a drive can be, then help prepare her for everything.

Sit her down (or have Mom do it, if she's with Mom), go through all emergency situations you can think of, and how to handle them. Make sure she has a charger for her cell phone, a spare tire (and knows how to change a tire), emergency phone numbers, planned stops in populated areas, etc. You might even buy her a can of mace to take with her. Tell her to use her cell only in emergencies, and NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING!!!

Hope this can be of some help.

 
Old 05-23-2010, 11:12 AM   #8
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 5
wbdeford HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Quote:
Originally Posted by marisuela View Post
My brother is divorced and he has similar struggles with his ex-wife and their daughter (fortunately she's still young and getting earrings is their big issue at the moment!)..... so I can only imagine your frustration with the situation!

My only other suggestion is to show her the posts on here and let her know from other people's words just how hard that kind of a drive can be, then help prepare her for everything.

Sit her down (or have Mom do it, if she's with Mom), go through all emergency situations you can think of, and how to handle them. Make sure she has a charger for her cell phone, a spare tire (and knows how to change a tire), emergency phone numbers, planned stops in populated areas, etc. You might even buy her a can of mace to take with her. Tell her to use her cell only in emergencies, and NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING!!!

Hope this can be of some help.
Marisuela,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this with me...it is much appreciated!

 
Old 05-23-2010, 11:14 AM   #9
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 5
wbdeford HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Thanks for sharing your thoughts....much appreciated....still not sure how this is going to turn out, since she doesn't live with me.

 
Old 05-26-2010, 11:38 AM   #10
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 434
caberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB Usercaberg HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

Quote:
Originally Posted by wbdeford View Post
She also has problems with attitudes towards speed and following distance. She had one accident from excessive speed and another was a rear end collision. Her license was restricted for 45 days a few months ago.
Ummm... No. I'm surprised she's even driving at all.

Even if she had a perfect driving record, 10 hours is too long for a new driver. It's even dangerous for an experienced driver, as you get drowsy and your reaction time slows. That's why it becomes extremely important to have the experience and built-in reactions needed to avoid accidents (which, your daughter has already proven she does not have).

Aside from her safety, and the safety of her siblings, think of other people on the road. She is still a minor, and the decision to let her make this trip falls squarely on the parents' shoulders. I think there is a fair claim for negligence against you (given what you know about her driving skills), if you were to let her embark on such a trip and she ended up injuring someone.

 
Old 05-26-2010, 12:34 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 969
justmel30 HB User
Re: Teen Driving long distance

I haven't read all of the responses here, only the question, so forgive me if I repeat something here. But no, I do not believe that a child should be able to drive far away like that, with their siblings. I just read a pole the other day. They took police officers and asked them questions about who they pull over the most, why, and what category of people are in the most car accidents, as well as fatal car accidents. Hands down, teens teens teens teens teens. A lot of people thought it would be the elderly, but believe it or not, the elderly are one of the safest categories.......with the exception of a few who dont know when it's time to hang up the keys for good, they are slower drivers, therefor, not much happens around them. They know their limits, they know what's dangerous, therefore, they keep the speed down. Teen's on the other hand, do not have the experience in life, let alone the road, to understand the potential consequences of what can happen on the road. Of course you can ask them what will happen if they get into an accident if they are not wearing a seatbelt, and they are going 90 on the wrong way of a freeway. And of course they will tell you they could die.
But where it goes wrong, is that teens havent lived long enough to know that it CAN happen to them. That it is possible to die, or be seriously injured, and that it is not something that just happens to other people. Not to mention, it could happen and may not even be their fault!

So for me, absolutely not.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Driving and Bipolar CarenR Bipolar Disorder 6 03-11-2010 11:16 AM
Vicodin and Driving ledge3316 Pain Management 40 04-02-2009 01:55 AM
New to boards, my 15 y/o Teen has High Blood Pressure...? AMack815 High & Low Blood Pressure 5 09-27-2008 04:46 PM
Tiredness when driving BIGEYE General Health 3 07-15-2008 06:52 AM
Driving long distance after DVT...anyone done it? waterfairy Blood and Blood Vessel 3 02-11-2008 03:14 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (8), writeleft (6), rudiraven (4), marisuela (4), Curious One (3), noevr (3), katlin09 (3), jilas0127 (3), Foxxii (3), Beth Ann (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (997), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (745), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:53 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!