How do I get my son to quit wanting baths and showers? - Parenting Issues Message Board

JennyBear · 10-07-2002, 08:26 AM

My 4 year old wants to take baths and showers all the time. First thing in the morning I hear " I want a bath" or "I want a shower" Late afternoon it's "I want a bath" If I say "NO" he cries and whines and throws a fit. I try to tell him he can only have one a day, so he needs to choose what he wants and when he wants it. That doesn't work. I need help. What can I do. Why is he like this?

Greenberry · 10-07-2002, 09:41 AM

You have to keep standing firm. Your son has learned how to push your buttons and is trying to control you. When he asks/demands, tell him no--remind him of the once-a-day rule ("You already had a bath this morning" or "Bathtime is after supper"), and not to ask again. If he whines, tell him you don't want to listen to his whining, and leave the room. If he pitches a fit, he pitches a fit. Leave the room when he does, or at least just stand there looking at him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or destroy something. There's nothing wrong with letting him pitch a fit sometimes. My daughter, who is two, wants to put on chapstick constantly all day. I have told her once a day, and that is all she gets. If she pitches a fit, then she just pitches a fit. If I give in once, she will expect me to give in every time. After the first few times of pitching a fit, however, she has stopped and accepts the once-a-day rule. Let him pitch a fit, and when he quiets down, distract him with some activity or something he enjoys. It will be hard at first, because he may expect you to give in if you have before. But don't give in. Eventually he'll get it. Too bad if he's not happy with the rules. He'll get over it! Good luck.

mydog8mybrain · 10-10-2002, 04:00 PM

It would be a good thing if you could somehow bottle that desire he has and save it until he is about 10 years old! Seems that when they get around 10 or so they do all they can to avoid the tub!
Bruce

Chelle1977 · 11-05-2002, 02:09 PM

What does it hurt to let him take a bath or shower if you have the time? I say let him do it. It'll be soon enough when you'll have to beg him to bathe at all.

HeartOfGold · 11-06-2002, 01:50 AM

Hi,

I feel the same as Chelle. My first thought was so what, I mean if the bath or shower doesn't conflict with your schedule. What's the harm? It might seem quirky to an adult but he's a child and its just fun for him at this stage in his life, it won't last. Also I really don't understand why the other woman that posted what she does because her daughter wants to apply chapstick? This is what she uses as her "teaching her a lesson method" .....its chapstick for goodness sakes not Este Lauder's red red ruby from your makeup bag she paid $35.00 on. I would buy my daughter a tube and just say, " Here Honey condition and sunscreen your little lips to your hearts content". I guess I just don't see these as BIG issues. Think about it, why so angry over such issues, could you benefit by taking a step back and saying to yourself ," Is something else going on in my life?" I'm not handling this not so harmful request my child is making to me very well, Why? "
Make the short time they are small happy memories and don't sweat the small stuff. They will be adults longer than they will be kids. We all know as adults we associate the quality of our adult lives to the few kid years we were at our parent's mercy. How do you want yours to remember you? The chapstick ****? Or having said something to the effect of......... "Sweetheart? Do you think Mommy needs some on her lips too, will you apply some to Mommy's lips, because if she's going to have a chapstick princess for her Daughter, she should look like a chapstick Queen". Give her a memory, it will be 1 or the other, you choose.

Best to you,
HeartOfGold