27 month old son not ready for potty-training? - Parenting Issues Message Board

Cheryl3 · 01-19-2003, 06:39 PM

Thanks for all of the helpful replies, but I don't really feel safe having my problems and opinions on this board anymore

[This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]

franjo · 01-19-2003, 09:51 PM

Cheryl,

Hi! My son was almost 2-1/2 before I can say he was totally toilet trained. We had many triumphs and setbacks...then, one day, it seemed to all 'click'. I suggest to continue to make the effort. It has to be hard when there are multiple caretakers involved. I was lucky enough to devote all my time to it.

If you feel he isn't ready, and you're anxious about it, there's no harm in taking a 'vacation' from the training. You both may need the break. That's what I did. My son was 2 when I started training....we were getting nowhere fast. Like your son, he would maybe hit the jackpot once a day. One morning he went through six pairs of training pants. My washing machine ran all the time. I took a two month break from it, but I continued to ask him if he needed to go. When we tried it again, he was trained within one week! I keep thinking about how awful that whole two months might have been if I had kept beating my head against a wall. I think we often get anxious about when our children should be trained because of everyone else's expectations about when that should be. Every child is different. Yours may be using up all his learning juices in other areas right now, and just doesn't have the reserve to apply to training yet.

This also helped us through the process: After your child drinks a liquid, wait 30-40 minutes and take him to the bathroom. You will be more likely to get lucky and the more successes he has, the more positive he will feel about doing it. Hope this helps. Be patient and relax....he'll get it!....franjo

bruised · 01-19-2003, 10:00 PM

I wanted to add ALOT of praise and reward.Reward like stickers and mabe try blue food coloring in the toilet,so when he goes pee it turns green.If he likes the small potty let it be. He'll graduate to the big toilet.If you train him on the big toilet,get one of those plain kids seats that he can put a sticker on it,after he's gone to the bathroom for his reward and accomplishment.Also don't be afraid to let him watch you or hubby go pee.That way the more he sees you go,the more he may be interested.My son was 18 months when we potty trained him,and daughter is 26 months and is trained as well.These things worked for us,hopefully they can work for you.

Greenberry · 01-20-2003, 11:47 AM

I have been there! I started trying to train my daughter in September when she was about 23 months old. I kept reading everywhere that if you are a good parent and willing to work at it, you should be able to potty train ANY and EVERY child by 24 months. Big-time BS!!!!

I spent the entire three months from Labor Day until Christmas taking my daughter to the potty every 35 minutes (that was the longest she would ever go between wetting). I praised, rewarded, gave her stickers, candy, used a potty seat, then the toilet, used the bathroom in front of her myself, and NOTHING WORKED. She is just not ready. I gave up sometime around Christmas when my frustration started showing through to her in the form of borderline scolding on my part.

Finally, in the past day or two, she has started telling me "Mama, tee-tee in diapy." So maybe there is some progress. But she just didn't get it. She would go in the potty when I took her, but she just wasn't aware enough to be able to tell me when she was about to go--and she still isn't quite yet. I am going to try again in a week or two, but I don't have very high hopes.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I wouldn't even attempt it until you have a whole lot of time to devote to it, like you mentioned would happen this summer. Good luck, and if I find a miracle, I will let you know.

Cheryl3 · 01-20-2003, 02:33 PM

Thanks so much, Greenberry! There are so many conflicting messages out there. Basically, my pediatrician has been asking me if he has "shown an interest" in potty training ever since our 18-month check-up, but when I say no, he says, "That's normal." My old pediatrician (who saw my older son when he was that age) told me it wasn't even worth TRYING to potty-train a boy until he was 3. He thought I was nuts for starting at 18 months, but I maintain that you can tell by your child's personality and demeanor whether or not they are ready, and I knew my older son was ready. I also think different kids are motivated by different things. Like I said, my older son was so eager to please. He loved making mommy happy. That's why he was so easy to train. My younger son is so much more "self-centered," for lack of a better word! I almost think for my younger son it will take getting teased by the older boys at daycare for wearing a pull-up before he cares about potty-training.

Anyway, thanks everyone for your replies!

------------------
Cheryl