When you're not the mother - Parenting Issues Message Board

LookingForHealth · 02-11-2003, 01:01 AM

I know what I would REALLY like to do, but what can I do when a child I nanny for acts like a little brat, either in front of the parents or not...She's just about 3 years old, totally spoiled rotten (got a $300 ring for throwing tantrum), and says shut up, screams don't you say that, has wild fits or tantrums (with me and them). I am not the one who raised her, spoiled her, "messed her up" so it's frustrating...but what can I do to get her to respect people other than daddy. Oh yea, if it's me and her parents around, she will not listen to me, let me look at her, tell her anything...manipulates the hell out of her parents. If it's just me, I am in charge and she knows that and I am not afraid to punish her such as put her in the room and turn the light off (she hates it). I do not feel bad at all doing that because she runs the house
and needs to be punished. I try not to let a 3 year old bother me because she doesn't think the way that I do obviously...but is it acceptable to let her ddisrespect me when her parents are there? She knows what she is doing. Her mom said that if it's just the 2 parents and her, she plays that game with them too and won't listen to 1.

msrivers · 02-11-2003, 03:46 PM

Just be consistant. Let her know you won't take the spoiled brat act. Talk to her parents and see if they have any insight. if it gets to bad, quit.

bruised · 02-12-2003, 11:16 PM

Lookingfor health..I would say that her mom should have taught her how to act and behave and respect.I don't care that she's 3,she should have learned this from a young age.When you nanny,you are the caretaker of her at that time.Once her mom or dad are home,she should be the parent's responsibility.IMO nannies are there because the parents have no time to raise their kids and are probably spoiling her because of the lack of time spent,and instead of time they lavish her with gifts to make up for it.She may be spoiled now,but wait until she's destructive when she's older because of the lack of responsibility her parents did to her.JMO

LookingForHealth · 02-13-2003, 12:10 AM

Great advise I am reading...
boy does my blood boil when the girl disrespects me, if it were my child it would be different and I would be able to spank (last resort) and discipline. See, if I were the mom and I spanked her she is the type of kid that would scream you hurt me and make you look like a child batterer. For the most part, it is embarassing because the parents are probably thinking, gosh she doesn't like you, that solves it right there. I am sweet to her, I don't let her rule me when they are gone, and I make sure she has a good time, but the minute they walk in she plays that game of I hate the nanny. I don't even know why they brought me with them on vacation last week...she (and the 1 year old) would not allow me near them if momy and daddy are there. I just sit there like a nobody. Please assure me that this is normal for them to only want to be around their parents when I am around. Will this happen when they are school-age? The mom is always nice the the girl, too, and has yanked her arm and disciplined her verbally and she still acts like a brat. What punishment will make her NOT resent me and also make her stop being a brat? The biggest thing is that I want her to stop, but not hate me and dread me coming over to play with her. Usually when she first sees me she is totally hugging me and excited...she turns evil when the dad is there or when they both get home at the end.

dentalnitemare · 01-02-2004, 12:11 AM

putting her in her room and turning the lights out sounds cruel to me.I understand she's out of control,but she's still a child and shouldn't be treated or expected to act like an adult,when you said she doesn't think like you well of course not,she's 3 years old.If I caught someone putting my 3 year old in a dark room for punishment I would be looking for another nanny.