when do i tell her - Parenting Issues Message Board

sylv40 · 01-31-2003, 04:49 AM

Hi there
Ihave a 9yr old daughter who has started to sort of ask me about the bears and the bees i think she should know some things and my husband thinks shes to young yet. i dont want her to be like me i knew nothink at the age of 12

*SoccerMom* · 01-31-2003, 05:59 AM

Hi Sylv40~
Welcome

I think it is as parents we should have this ongoing "birds and bees" talk with our kids from the time they can talk. I am not saying to be technical at first, but to let it be a subject that is easily approached so that she will always be comfortable with asking questions and talking to you.

I believe that you should definitely have a talk with her now that she is 9. There was another post that you may want to check out that was on a similar topic...not sure of the exact name but it was something about talking to your daughter about "periods and sex". You will see that there are a lot of opinions about this matter so you have to find one that suits you. I would just try to find a way to make it easy to talk about for you, your husband and your daughter. (Although my husband cringes sometimes at the things that I say!

)

SoccerMom

msrivers · 02-01-2003, 08:06 AM

I have been talking to my children, age appropriate things of course, since they were three or four. I do not want them learning anything from playgroung gossip or 'playing doctor'. My wish is for them to know that their bodies are not something to be ashamed of, rather, they need to take pride in themselves and treat their bodies with care. If they believe that they are special then they will take care of themselves and KNOW what the score is pertaining to peer pressure, sexuality, ect. By nine she probably already knows some things, and you willprobably have to set her straight on much of it. Good luck in this thing.....

franjo · 02-01-2003, 10:34 PM

I think that if your daughter is beginning to ask questions, then she deserves the answers to her questions. Just don't over-answer her questions. Limit your answers to what she is REALLY asking. I just feel that if their maturing brains can generate the questions, then it's time to supply the answers, because they will seek the answers one way or another. It's what curious minds are designed to do......franjo

lilihob · 02-02-2003, 11:44 AM

please tell her about periods if nothing else!
i was not quite 9 when mine started and i was so terrified! i thought i was going to die, i was ashamed, scared, and it was horrific.
my sweet mum thought she had plenty of time, but nature outwitted her. my little girl is 4 and she does NOT know anything about sex. she does know that ladies bleed down there, that it is normal, and so will she one day. thanks to a little sister, she knows that babies grow in ladies tummies and daddies put them there. she has no interest as to how this happens and thats fine. she knows that her body is hers and that it is fine to say no if she wants to, (fun at the drs!) i agree with the other posters, only tell her what she wants/needs to know, and the person who knows that best is YOU. my husband is keen that they dont grow up too fast, but you can do both.