child screaming while out with friends - Parenting Issues Message Board

Wonder03 · 03-02-2003, 02:26 PM

Hello, here is the situation. Could anyone please say what they would do if this happened to them. Thank you.

You and your friends are having lunch in a restaurant when your child starts crying and screaming loudly. You haven't been out with your friends in a very long time.

Any replies welcome. Thank you

Marie55 · 03-02-2003, 05:30 PM

How old is your child? Many times little ones get tired/bored/sleepy when out for a long time or confined to sitting. If it was past the child's nap time, he/she will act up, be cranky. A nap will be the cure.

This is normal for a child of any age that has not been taught to be "quiet" at times at home. If he/she is allowed to scream at home they will not know any better out in public.

Choose your time to visit with friends when it is not a child's nap time. Children's attention span is very short at young ages, so, make the visit short.

Marie

franjo · 03-02-2003, 10:49 PM

Assuming your child is a toddler, this is what I would do, and have done on occasion with my son in that situation: Take them outside, or anywhere that would be a change of scenery for them. Keep yourself calm, and distract them with whatever is available (passing cars, pretty wallpaper, etc.). Get down on their level, speak in soothing tones. When the child has calmed down enough, explain why screaming is unacceptable, and tell him or her that you know s/he can do better, then ask him or her to show you that they can do better. I would always shake on it.

It's amazing to me how my son would leave a restaurant like a screaming, unconsolable goblin, and return with a completely different outlook. It didn't ALWAYS work, but it did work more often than not. Good Luck!....franjo

LookingForHealth · 03-03-2003, 06:54 PM

I never pay attention to a scream or a tantrum, that makes them gradually stop doing it. It's embarassing when everyone looks at you, but you are right to ignore the kid when that is happening.
For a scream or tantrum, my reaction is ONLY: I'll talk to you when you stop hurting my ears or have your nice quiet voice back. If it's for a toy or for nothing at all, same reaction...

familyfull · 03-09-2003, 04:40 PM

I'm assuming your child is a toddler. In most cases timing and packing is everything! Make sure it's not a time when your child will be cranky because it's near nap time. You need to pack lots and lots of finger foods (cheerios, fruit snacks, sippee cups, bring a happy meal with you, whatever) and QUIET toys so as not to disturb other people dining at the restuarant. LIMIT your TIME OUT with the child - really even an hour for them is too much sometimes.

Pick a child friendly restaurant. This will help you and your friends relax and enjoy your outing more. The other patrons in these types of restaurants will be a little more understanding with the slightly higher noise level that accompanies children. However, I don't think that you should just ignore a screaming child while your'e dining in a restaurant with other patrons. Really, it's just plain rude to the other people around you. If the child is overly tired, say, s/he may not be able to control his/her behavior nor should you expect him/her to be. I'm just saying, be sensitive to your child and others around you.

Obviously, sometimes you will have to get up and leave the restaurant with the child and have a discussion about their behavior and come back in. It might mean leaving 2 or 3 times and coming back. Sometimes you will have to ask them to pack to-go.

And you definitely don't want to hear this, but depending on the age of your child (your child's temperment) ---- you might have to postpone your thoughts of dining out for awhile with your little one until you both feel that you can enjoy yourselves. I can tell you that my husband and I (with our first child) felt as if we couldn't go to a restaurant after he was 6 mos until he was practically 2 3/4 (and by then we also had a second one)!!! My older son would scream and cry and had to sit on my lap, etc.... It was just not enjoyable to go out and dine and socialize.

Find other options. Order take out or delivery and picnic at a park with your friends or have friends over to your house for lunches or dinners that fit better with what your family's schedule is right now.

My kids are 3 1/2 and 2 now. I feel pretty comfortable taking them to restaurants that are family friendly and we go EARLY and we keep the timing in mind because the 2 yr old can't sit for more than an hour max. We bring coloring crayons and books with us these days. Good luck and Happy dining!!!