1 1/2 year old will not sleep alone - Parenting Issues Message Board

ellekat19 · 02-27-2003, 02:25 PM

Help!! My little boy only want to sleep in bed with my husband and I. He was doing fine in his own room until we recently bought a house and moved. He will start out in his room and wake up a few hours later only to escape his crib and get into bed with us. Any suggestions?

lil red chevy · 02-27-2003, 08:19 PM

I used to have this very same problem but my son was a little older. I just made him a deal. It told him that if he can sleep in his own bed for two nights in a row he could earn something small....toy or treat. Then when he came to my bed I would remind him that he needs to stay in his own bed or he would not get promised item. Once he can do two days I went to four then one week then two etc. He now knows that unless he is feeling ill or has a good reason to wake me up he best stay put.

Because you little one is much yopunger you may want to make him a small "bed" beside your bed. If he tries to sneak in at night tell him he needs to lay on the floor beside you and he is not allowed in the bed.

Also make sure the crib has enough blankets so he is not waking up due to feeling cold and wanting to cuddle. A night light may also be useful.

Hope this helps some!! Hope you get a good night s rest!

lil red chevy

ellekat19 · 02-28-2003, 07:56 AM

The worst part is that I will put him in his bed, read to him for a while, and then as soon as I walk out he cries for me forever. It sounds like someone is hurting him he cries so hard. It almost makes me feel like a bad parent because I am tired of sleeping with my son. But because of it, my husband and I get no alone time anymore. I just feel so bad hearing my baby cry the way he does...

lil red chevy · 02-28-2003, 07:31 PM

I had the same problem.....guilt. You are not a bad parent for allowing a child to cry. If you have tucked him in and read a story or just cuddled for a few minutes and then leave the room and the child starts crying he is doing it because he knows you will return. Stay tough and tell him he needs to stay in his own bed and that you will not be comming back in the room just because he cries for you. He will probally cry very hard for a while maybe even the first few days but when he realizes that mom isnt going to run in when he cries he will stop. Having alone time with or without hubby is a good thing. Never feel guilty or that you are not a good parent. Having personal time will actually make you a better parent. Good luck!

lil red chevy

franjo · 03-02-2003, 01:04 PM

I agree with lilredchevy. The crying is enough to break any mother's heart, but try to remember that you're also teaching your child coping skills by allowing him to experience a 'dilemna'.

I had the same problems with my 3 y/o until recently. I know it can be maddening! You may want to read my post on the 'Childrens Health' board titled, "Sleepless in Indiana".

I ended up taking away his nap. I'm not suggesting that you do that, in your case, but it helped with us. I guess my son is just one of those who gives their naps up early.

One of the things that really seemed to help us: I would tell him that I would come back into his room in 15 minutes to check on him. That seemed to ease his mind and he would stay in bed to wait for me. After a week or so of this, he would already be fast asleep before my first 'check'. He still crawls into bed with us, but it's usually around 5-6am. I think my husband leaving for work wakes him.

I hope you're able to find what works for you and your little one. Every child is different and each child is motivated by different things. I do think that your recent move has alot to do with his sudden sleeping behavior. Have you unpacked all of his familiar things into his new room yet? Is the new room further away from yours than it was at the old place? These things will probably just take some time and patience. Good Luck, it WILL get better!.....franjo