Talking To Daughter About Period & Sex? - Parenting Issues Message Board

MotherOfAPrincess · 11-26-2002, 12:06 PM

At what age should you begin to talk to your daughter about sex and starting her period?Mine is 8 and I know some girls that started at 9...I'm just nerves about doing this and how to bring it up....and how to explain it so that its understood w/out using medical words....

mushroom1 · 11-26-2002, 02:21 PM

My daughter is 8, too and she knows all about periods.
Ever since she was little, I let her come in the bathroom with me, if she wanted to and she has seen me change pads etc. I was just matter of fact about it all and let her know that it didn't hurt me and what it was. We have talked about sex, too. How a woman becomes pregnant, how sometimes grownups have sex not to make a baby, but just to feel good. I have talked to her about masterbation, as well and explained that she has something special called a clitoris. I was not totally at ease asking my mother about sex, and I can tell my little girl is the same, so I bought her a book called Isn't It Amazing and I have seen her reading it several times. My oldest daughter started her period the summer after she turned 12 and she had also known about it since she was a toddler. She was prepared and it went just fine. I think now is a good time to tell your daughter and use a book if you don't know what to say. Good luck.

fntsyangel · 11-26-2002, 04:43 PM

While my daughter is not that old yet, I have always been pretty open with her about things. I usually try to take opportunities like when she is watching A Baby Story on TLC or if there is a woman having a baby on TV to bring up the subject so it doesnt seem like it just came up out of nowhere. I have also had a few talks with my 10 YO niece - whose mother has not really prepared her at all or had much in the way of sex talks with - and, again, I either try to wait for something that is near the subject (or MAKE a sittuation - watch a show I KNOW will bring the subject up). Just the other night my daughter came into the BR while I was taking a bath and asked my why I had hair on my "equipment" (her word!) so I took the time to explain a bit about puberty to her. I am also expecting a baby boy soon, and I know that one of the first questions is going to be why his "equipment" is different than hers and her sister's. You just try to take the opportunities as they come. It doesnt really have to be ONE talk, but can instead be many.

Now, my daughter is only 5, but I believe in letting girls know about these things as soon as they are ready - and 8 is the perfect time!

As far as not using too many medical terms, your best bet is to tell her the medical terms then explain what they mean in normal language. You can tell her a period is called menstration, and what that MEANS is ... so on. Just make sure to explain it in words she is familiar with. If she calls her vaginal area her privates, then tell her using that word with just a quick reference to the fact that it is called vaginia, labia, etc.

Good luck!!

------------------
Angel
Stephanie (7), Caitlen (5), Arica (1), Kai Thomas EDD 1-23-03

[This message has been edited by fntsyangel (edited 11-26-2002).]

MotherOfAPrincess · 11-26-2002, 06:00 PM

I have talked to her about "if people try to touch you and that kind of stuff"....thanks fntsyangel your advice was pretty good but I don't see me or any other mother telling her 8 yr. old daughter about masterbation or a clitoris or so-forth....I guess diferent strokes for different mothers...

mommynmichigan · 11-27-2002, 08:33 PM

My daughter was 9 when I told her .. she's now 12. I explained to her about what a period was etc ... and showed her what to do in case it happens ... she also carries a few pads deep in her backpack in case of an emergency. She also asked me if she could call me to come get her if and when she did start (Afraid she'll be in an embarrasing situation) But of course to reassure her I will! I think children can do without learning about masturbation until the boys are at an age where it has to be a necessity ... but then it's my hubby's turn to explain that. Anyhow, children need to know about certain things as soon as you think they may understand, because a time may come (Like on the school bus and not the appropriate way) They find out things you wished you had told them.