Need to put our dog to sleep-how to tell children? - Parenting Issues Message Board

kellaz3 · 10-02-2003, 07:09 AM

Hi,

Our dog has congestive heart failure, is on 8 pills a day, is almost 12, and pants all day and doesn't get around too much anymore. He's been sick for about 9 months now and is only getting worse. My DH and I have made the decision to put him to sleep in the next week or so. I have three children ages 9, 7 and 4. My 9 year old knows and I have explained to her what "going to sleep" is and she understands and is aware. My son is 7 and I know will be very emotional and I am just afraid he will think we killed our dog because he thinks our dog seems fine. My 4 year old is really too young to understand. We have been hinting around that our dog is not doing well and things like that. Maybe some of you have gone through this and can help me find the right words to tell our 7 year old. I know he will keep his emotions in. This is the only pet our children have ever known. We are going to take our kids' pictures with our dog today as a momento.

Thanks,
Kellaz

Rajah · 10-02-2003, 07:42 AM

Hi Kell,
Sorry to hear about your dog. We've been there. We knew the time was coming also...with arthritis setting in...so we had the opportunity to get another puppy before the dreaded sleep. I think it helped a bit. It is so hard to put them down....I cried for days and then put a photo album together of our dog...and that helped me. We explained to our children, (8 and 10) at the time, that even though Bonnie looked fine and never, ever, whimpered...she was in pain. It wasn't fair to her. And then the question....does she go to heaven??? Well, we are christians and my children know alot of what's in the Bible and their is no mention of where dogs, cats and other animals go. But we told them, all we know for sure is, that the Bible says when Jesus comes back to earth that he descends from the heavens on a white horse. So that was our explanation. That if Jesus is on a horse...then maybe their are animals in heaven and that's where Bonnie will go. I wish you the best. I know it's a very emotional time. I actually spent the whole day with Bonnie on that day...and just before my husband took her to the vet...we gave her a big bowl of ice cream. She loved ice cream. I could not bear to go with my husband to the vet...and I, personally, did not want the children witnessing that either. My prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

Kimianne · 10-02-2003, 01:36 PM

I am sorry - I have no wisdom to share here.

I just wanted to tell you that my prayers are with you too.

It's an awful situation and my heart goes out to you and your family.

------------------
Kimi
Life is a gift. Your loved ones are the benefits.
Respect them both and you will reap the rewards.

TeTr01 · 10-02-2003, 03:10 PM

Sorry to hear about your dog! It's always hard on a family when their pet has to go b/c they ARE a part of the family! I personally think that being honest with your children is the best way to go. Good luck!

jboon · 10-04-2003, 11:06 PM

This will be a sad, difficult time, and my heart goes out to you and your family. There's no "right" way to go about it all, but I can tell you what we did. We had to put our 13 year old dog to sleep several years ago, when our children were 8 and 10. They had never known life without our dog, so it is quite a loss. We did talk to our children about what was going to happen, and why. We did not take them with us, though, to have it done. Our son chose to go to a friend's house and then spend the night. Our daughter chose to stay home while we went, and called us several times to get updates on what was happening. We chose to have our dog cremated, and have a small display on the fireplace mantle (his cremation box is draped with a bandana he used to always wear, and his last collar and bone are next to the box along with one of the last pictures we took of him). We have years of memories that we still talk about. We often laugh about his final time outside before we took him to be put to sleep: One of our neighbors yelled at us once when our dog walked onto their property. Well, before our dog got into the car that last day, he walked right over to our neighbor's yard and "took a dump." We let him, and didn't clean it up. Guess it was his way of telling them goodbye.