My girls won't stop arguing! - Parenting Issues Message Board

Mom of two girls · 10-06-2003, 10:20 AM

My teenage daughter is 14 and her sister is 9 yrs. old.
They argue/fight like cats and dogs, make everyone in the household unhappy and I am sick of it. Any suggestions? Help!

chrislove · 10-06-2003, 11:25 AM

Find out what their currency is and either reward them for good bahavior or take something away for negative behavior. When you can't tell who started it and they are both involved, take away from both. Sign a contract within the household that outlines rules, chores and expected behavior. Have them contribute to this contract and have them decide what are some resonable punishments or rewards and put that in the contract too. We keep a chart for our girls (5 & 7) and if they stay in bed all night, eat all their dinner and take their plates to the kitchen, etc.....we reward them with a trip to the dollar store once a week to either purchase their reward or watch their sibling get something and they don't. So far it works, works with their phone and t.v. privileges also. Just some suggestions...hope it helps ! You are not alone.

Chris

KimRick · 10-06-2003, 12:20 PM

My sister and I are 18 months apart. Currently, I am 25 and she will be 24 in Feb. We used to physically and verbally fight, when we were younger, like heavyweight boxing champions . Sibling rivalry is COMPLETELY normal. We would fight about everything from clothes, the phone to who was the right / wrong one. My sister was the loud mouth, smart a$$, always thinks she's right type of person and I was the quiet one who held everything in and never said anything unless I knew I was right. So, we clashed. We still argue, not physically, though, about stupid things. BUT, we both know when to walk away - sure we're calling eachother names under our breaths, but we get in eachother's spaces.

My mom, as far as I can remember, just ignored it or yelled at us to stop and threatened to ground us if we didn't. Now, I have a daughter of my own and she doesn't have any other siblings to fight with, so I was blessed!

hope2663 · 10-06-2003, 02:24 PM

I have an older sister and we used to constantly fight. I was the baby and I always told on her. We were definately 2 different people. Now we are the best of friends. We do everything together, we are constantly over at each others homes, we go shopping, and we talk on the phone at least 2 times a day. Our husbands complain all of the time that we are always together. My parents just let us fight it out and usually never got involved, unless we were out for blood, lol. My sister used to drag me by my hair around the house and boy I could go on and on, but I think thats what siblings are supposed to do, but hopefully in time they will grow out of it and learn to love eachother not just as sisters, but best friends.

TeTr01 · 10-06-2003, 04:14 PM

Sounds like my sis & I. She is 23 & I am 21, we get along pretty good now - but when we were younger we used to fight constantly & couldn't stand each other. It may have had to do with the fact that we had to share a room so we didn't really have much privacy from each other. But growing up in a family with 6 kids you get used to that - so I dunno if it was that or not. It could have also been b/c we were so opposite, like night & day! I think deep down we were both jealous of each other for one thing or another. We didn't start to get along till she went away to college & we weren't living together!!

I know it is frustrating for you & the rest of the family, but you can't force them to like each other. It will come with time! They are still young, so it may take a while, but they will learn to get along when they are ready!

Till then, good lcuk

!