Too old to shower together - Parenting Issues Message Board

pacu · 12-27-2002, 07:13 PM

I feel kind of weird asking this but maybe you woman can give me some insight about this issue, my wife has always given my 2 boys a bath before bedtime, now my oldest is 10 yrs old and now he sometimes gets in the shower with her, I tell her not to allow him to get in the shower with her, but she saids its ok, that there's nothing wrong with that, I think he's a little big now to be taking a bath with her. She saids that they are her boys and that she has nothing to hide or be afraid of, they are her boys. Even around the house, she is sometimes a little under dressed, and I dont think that the boys should be seeing her like this. What do you moms think about this?
Steve

nat12345 · 12-27-2002, 10:47 PM

Hi steve...i am a mom, and totally agree with you. That is too old to be showering with his mother. Although i have no idea what you should say to her seeing how she already has her mind made up that this is ok. If it hasnt stoped yet and she is perfectly fine with it when will it stop...ill think on this for you and maybe some up with a polite way to tell your wife that this is uneceptable.

Natasha

Greenberry · 12-28-2002, 08:53 AM

In my mind, I always seem to draw the line of co-ed bathing sometime around either when a child is completely potty-trained, or about the time they start school. Both of these should have been accomplished for a 10 year old. I think 10 is way too old to be bathing with ANYONE else, of either gender. Putting a 3 year old and 5 year in the tub together is one thing, but a 10 year boy bathing with his mother seems a little odd to me--for that matter, a 10 year old girl bathing with her mother also seems odd to me. However, if you have spoken with your wife, and she still thinks it's all right, I don't what else you can do, other than print out these responses and show them to her. Maybe that will help.

mushroom1 · 12-28-2002, 09:32 AM

I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" here. It is just custom and what one is comfortable with. My husband and I both allowed our children to shower with us as long as they wanted to...and it usually ended about 9 or 10.
When I was a kid, our family was friends with another family that had 6 children...and they built a huge Japanese bath, just so the whole family could bathe together on weekends. They even invited friends in with them...
My upbringing was much more prudish, so I was not having ANYTHING to do with that, but I don't see it as wrong, just different.
I think that your wife and sons get to decide what is comfortable/normal for them and I would not interfere unless I felt my spouse were doing something harmful to my child. How is seeing your own mother naked harmful?

pacu · 12-28-2002, 01:01 PM

Thanks Nat and Green for your insight on this matter, I'm glad someone agrees with me, as for muchroom, well I'm very much opened minded about things, but this is too much. When I was a child, I too saw my mom naked alot, but not cause she parade around the house that way, or took a shower with me either. I know there's nothing harmful with him seeing her naked but there has to be a line somewhere.
Thanks Again
Steve