Female Teen Sister at her worst - Parenting Issues Message Board

JS22 · 10-21-2003, 11:04 PM

I'm 22 years old and I have a 14 year old sister at her highest peak of teenage behavior, I have come to realize that it is impossible to snap her out of it..it's like talking to an animal. With the exception of doing drugs to my knowledge she pushes the envolope and all other things, my reason for this post is for her to read the responses you guys give because she seems to believe that the discipline my mom and I give her is not right and basically has a 24/7 attitude against us, I've heard that in bringing up a teenage escpecially females that we need to let them test their wings a bit..well every chance she has gotten she has pushed her limits to the max therfore her freedon now is severly limited. Since she will read this thread I'm going to list some of our restrictions towards her and would appreciate if you all tell me if they are appropiate and of course give me your thoughts about the whole situation, some general current rules are:

-Behind our backs she started dating a 19 year old male that looked to have nthg but bad intentions therefore: She is strictly prohibited to date adults and for her presistence to still try to comunicate with this fellow she was told that she has no maturity to be dating at all for being so vulnerable and plain stupid about dating.

-If there is any sign of any older male with intentions to over socialize with her while she is out with a friend or so then she will immediately be brought home for her safety since she is extremely vulnerable because of her age and her raging hormones.

-Not to skip School, she thinks that since her friends do it then it's ok.

-Since she has pushed her limits during all the other chances she was given to go out alone she now is supervised very closley at the locations she goes to..not right on her back but not that far away either..it annoys her but that's what she wanted.
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you know what bugs me, teenagers just don't see it that they bring strict discpline on themselves everytime they test their limits and then they get extremely mad when they are flooded with restrictions and ask WHY?...lol..apperantly I read that the judgement area of brains of teenagers are still under development through their early twenties I guess that explains why they do things that are so stupid over and over.

[This message has been edited by JS22 (edited 10-22-2003).]

kslittledevil · 10-22-2003, 06:19 AM

Depending on the state you live in and if anything sexual in nature has taken place between her and this 19 year old, statuatory rape charges can be pressed. Nobody can protect her at all times, but as far as skipping school, you can have the school call if she is not in class with there being consequences for this.
If I had tried any of this when I was 14, my parents would have had a field day with me. I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week and I would have wished that I had never been born. I'm 33 so this has been some years ago and I don't recommend these extremes. I do recommend restriction to the room, no friends, no telephone, etc., etc. If she tries to sneak out nail her windows shut. By now she should know the house rules and guidelines set by your mom. Is dad in the picture? He can be a great influence on a teenage girl also.

Want 2 B Well · 10-22-2003, 07:00 AM

These are not rules but are reactions to her behavior.
Rules are something that are already established in the home before all of this stuff started going on.
I have a 12 daughter and we have rules. She is expected to follow them.

You need to sit down and set up some rules with her & punishments for not following them.

Ex. Instead of not skipping school (which is silly, since you both know this is DUH)...You expect to see ALL of her work and she is to get a grade of "B" or higher to be able to do ????.

Sounds like you have work to do . Good Luck

[This message has been edited by Want 2 B Well (edited 10-22-2003).]

JS22 · 10-22-2003, 07:44 AM

The father is in the picture and is a great influence on her...thats why she continues to be a very stupid teenager, her father defends her through thick and thin so it's like dealing with two teens at once. We've sat down many times to explain consequenses for bad things she does but again it's like talking to an animal so since she doesn't follow the rules like -Want 2 B Well said these are basically reactions to her actions..she continues to break rules basically because everytime she does something bad like when she skipped school she got off really easy..she got more counseling than she did dicspline so she figures if the consequenses for skipping weren't that harsh then what the hell.she continues being the stupidest she can be...she would be able to get a great load of her shoulders if she just stops thinking that she is in "love" with this 19 year old and worst the 19 year old dumbass has the mentality of a kid..even though he is told to back off he rebels stating that he loves her two and ("nothing can prohibit our love")...arghhh!! now isn't that the cheesiest thing ever?..and she responds the same way back..she'll sit in her room and listen to those cheese love songs and sings along with this emotion.....it's just frustrating not being able to knock sense into these kids as for the 19 year old he's got to be high on something...we are sitting here trying to deal with a teen at her worst and this dumbass jumps in not understanding that he is making it worst and I'm about to be ready to give him a major beating if he continues to interfere.

[This message has been edited by JS22 (edited 10-22-2003).]

Want 2 B Well · 10-22-2003, 07:52 AM

So your mom and dad are married and he lives in the home?