Not sure where this belongs... - Parenting Issues Message Board

Hannah's momma · 10-22-2003, 05:27 AM

I suppose it could go in a few forums (OCD/Depression/stomach problems/anxiety)..anyway, here is my story:
I have a 20 month old daughter. When she was a newborn, I was very careful about people washing their hands before handling her etc. As she grew older, I didn't obsess so much over germs as I did when she was a newborn. Cut to a year ago (I believe this is when my "issue" started), we attented a birthday party for a 12 month old who (as we were told AFTER WE LEFT), had just recovered from the flu. Well 2 days later, I woke up very ill and began vomitting/diarrhea...I got it. I called my DH to come home and help care for our daughter, he came home, ran upstairs and began vomiting/diarrhea. I was so sick I could not care for my daughter. My mother lives next door, so she took her while my husband and I recovered. My daughter did vomit once while with my mom (she was 8 months at the time BTW), but I don't think she had the severe flu we had. We all recovered from that episode, but since then, I have become obsessed with thoughts of getting ill. I fear so much that I will get sick and not be able to care for my daughter. I feear that she will get sick and then pass it to me, rendering me unable to care for her. I have recently had some stomach issues and am scheduled for a colonoscopy/EGD on Monday. I know they will be normal result as I feel my stomach issues are related to stress that I impose on myself over the thoughts of getting sick. Does that make sense? I am an anxious person, and moreso now that I have a child. Every little cramp or nausea sends me reeling that I am coming down with the flu or food poisoning or something and my mind races, which triggers the stress response, which triggers the acid in my stomach to overreact causing me the very symptoms that started this whole thought process..
UGH, it's so tiresome, all the time, worrying about my health, and my daughters health... I think my biggest fear is not being able to care for her if I am sick. And if we are both sick at the same time, I am not sure how I would cope with that.
Can anyone relate? Any advice? I'm thinking of therapy, but feel kinda silly about the whole thing. I don't know, please give me some advice if you are out there and can relate.
Sorry this turned into a book, I just wanted to get it all out at once!
Thanks in advance!
Jennifer

kslittledevil · 10-22-2003, 06:05 AM

I can understand the fear. I have a 3 1/2 year old and I am about to have my ankle operated on for the 4th time. I have had my ankle operated on twice since she was born, both times my husband was in the hospital for schizophrenia. Both times I had to find someone to help me to look after my daughter, my sil in 2001 helped and a friend in 2002.
I guess the best thing to say is you are going to get sick, I've had pneumonia also last year, the best thing to do is to make sure you have a back up person that you trust to keep your daughter for when this happens. And unless you are allergic to eggs, there is always the flu shot.

nolamama · 10-22-2003, 06:23 AM

It sounds like you may have a full-blown anxiety disorder on your hands. The fear you're having doesn't sound entirely rational, and it is effecting your physical health and your daily life.

You need to seek professional help. There is no shame in seeing a psychiatrist and/or counselor, and/or taking medication to get you through this difficult time. Your daughter needs you to take care of yourself in every way (pysically, emotionally, spiritually) so that you are able to care for her.

Want 2 B Well · 10-22-2003, 06:33 AM

You definetly could use some therapy. Do it now while things are good. Kids do get sick and have issues. You need to be able to deal with it sanely or you will pass OCD behaviors to your child. Then you will have double guilt.

motherofteen · 10-24-2003, 02:15 PM

I can uderstand where you are as a mother of 2 children one being 13 now and the other one is now 7. with my first child i was much the same way, when we took him out i wrapped him in every blanket we had, no one could touch him or carry him, bath him, or change him, but me. i didn't even trust his father to hold him and walk around. as the years went by and having my mother whom at first i did not trust because i was an only child and i was grown so i didn't believe anything she told me, but my grandmother of whom i alway adored began to tell me, a little dirt never hurt anyone and other such tales. i started to losen up some, by the way when i was being so picky my son seemed to stay sick. by the time he was 5 then my daughter was born, with her it was a whole new story, it didn't matter rain, sleet, snow, or rain me and her went i had to because i had my son now in school, i had to have her at the school with me so she was around all the other children and my son was coming home from being around all of them all the time. but what suprised me was she got sick very little and seemed to get well faster than my son did. so i think it is like they get imune to all the little stuff so it isn't as bad on them... so my advice is lighten up a little bit it may be better on all of you.