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Old 06-28-2010, 08:47 PM   #1
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Feeling sorry for myself

Hi. I have 4 kids under 6. My husband has a small business that I help him run. I am home with the kids but do hair on the side and then help him with the books for his biz. We recently had a business go under which forced us into bankruptcy.
All that said, he is working his butt off to get us re-started again. We are in good shape but he has a lot of guilt about how things went down and how I was treated during the course of old business closing. He also has serious family probs. His dad is headed for a BIG trial, most likely prison for life. So hes got just a little on his mind.

Im trying to be patient and kind...all that a good wife should be. Trying to understand that this is the (hopefully) hardest time of our lives and that things will get better but I AM TIRED. Im pretty much a single mom most of the week. I do have help but we need him too. I try to preach balance and that money isnt everything but 4 kids are really expensive. He needs to work and I know it but I do feel hes working to escape. I try so hard not to nag< I just wanna love him. The biggest part, and the reason I put this in the parenting place is that our kids really miss him!!! Any words of wisdom?

 
Old 06-29-2010, 08:56 PM   #2
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Re: Feeling sorry for myself

Wow, you do have a lot on your plate. I wish I did have words of wisdom for you, I really do. It is so hard when the kids are so young anyway, let alone all that is going on with you.

My only words of wisdom I have for you is don't feel like everything must be perfect. Don't feel like you home has to be just so and the kids have to eat a piping hot gomet meal at every meal. Stay strong you sound as if you are a great wife and wonderful mother.

 
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Old 07-01-2010, 09:19 AM   #3
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Re: Feeling sorry for myself

Your plate is over full! A suggestion would be that you have one or two family nights a week. YOu turn off the tv, don't answer the phone. YOu play games with the kids or go for a walk, but it's family time. Explain in a calm vocie that you understand his need to wrok and that he feels guilt, but you and the kids have need also. He doesn't want his kids to grow up without a father.

If you think the work is and escape, get him to a counselor. Check with your county health department to get low priced care. But get him seen to work through some of the issues.

good luck!

 
Old 07-01-2010, 04:25 PM   #4
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Re: Feeling sorry for myself

Good advice, thank you. We do get a few nights for family time but not enough. I have suggested counseling so many times. I do a ton of personal work on my stuff and Im very much wanting him to do the same but hes so busy it is hard to make time. I know that is a big excuse and you make time for the things you want to do...I just feel like HE needs to seek it out. I try and try and he is either resistant or too busy. I feel like I communicate very clearly the TRUTH about these situations but ....not too much is changing. Its very frustrating.

 
Old 07-05-2010, 03:57 AM   #5
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Re: Feeling sorry for myself

Its tempoary! When the buisness gets going you will get more time. Sometimes being married to someone with so much on is like being a single Mum.
Soak in the bath after childrens bed time at least once a week, or read a book or watch a film, just you. You will find your mind realxing, houswork can wait your sanity won't!
Hey and your allowed to feel that way - small people are hard work! Thats why teachers get paid decent money!

 
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