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Old 07-29-2011, 01:45 PM   #1
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Should Child Services be involved?

Id like to make a decision that I feel will be in the best interest of the children in question, yet im scared to be more involved.
Issue is , I help parent the three children of my spouse during his access weekends and holidays and any additional summer stay.
The children have all had their share of issues as children do, however I strongly feel two of the children has aspergers, as well as my spouse( although he is undiagnosed). At times of access, the symptoms are evident regarding social skills, coping, anxiety and the under development of the one child in maturity ( he is 7, acts more like 4). Some info from the custodial mother was passed on saying she intended to get them counseling a cpl mths ago, as they are still volatile, angry children, and hard to manage at times, yet never did..She is caught lying often in emails... at that time, we were also advised the two boys show developmental and educational issues at school and the school was assisting the children to manage better, The oldest who is now 12, has been walking on his toes his whole life, and the mom has not brought him to a specialist, he now regularly complain about pain in his legs, and feet, says he cant walk flatfooted( although we often remind him to do so). I know this is also another possible trait found in autism spectrum, along with the fact he use to bang his head regularly till he was 11. The middle child has alot of rage issues, and the youngest animal cruelty issues as well as many more issues that need to be addressed.
The mother refuses to address or supply, or comment on any info we ask for or about the kids, stating as she has custody she can do what so ever she pleases and my s.o has no say. The foot pain for the oldest has been addressed a number of times recently as he complains regularly and stayed the mth of July. As well as more animal abuse from the 7yr old, however the mom has stated she will no longer reply to any questions re the kids, and states she is being harassed and will be getting a lawyer to deal with this, telling my s/o unless he has a lawyer,m she wont deal with him at all..unless of coarse she wishes to. So now we are at a point where she will not communicate at all. The law states, access parents have a right to medical info, and to discuss concerns , however she says too bad read your court order, you have no say. My s/o has had many hard years dealing with this woman, and he repels with her every word, even if typed. He is afraid of her and often shuts down even with the smallest dealings with her, so I advocate for him with his approval as best I can, The emails are never harassing, only to the point and very formal. Because the last email re the sleepovers had a please reply in 7dyas, she says thats also threatening and will not reply..other then to complain and say Im not replying...
Last week we had the kids again for a week, the youngest just happened to be talking about how he often stays at her ex boyfriends, he even has sleepovers without the other kids, and most shockingly...advised he shares the bed with the moms ex boyfriend when he stays!! This was very alarming to us, and when we just addressed the concern in email to the mom , she again said you have no idea what goes on here, you are probably making this all up..which of coarse is crazy, the other kids also confirmed the youngest staying at the ex b/fs many times..stating " he likes it there better".
My s/o cannot afford a lawyer, and is regularly stressed out with the not knowing what to do about it all.. I strongly suggested we get children's aid involved, we both believe there is alot of neglect going on ...however she is a sneaky woman, who has been in and now works in the gov system, and cries at the drop of a dime for anyone who will believe her.. I feel she may be a sociopath, and I know she had fetal alcohol when born, which can present many mental health issues... What choice should I make, call CPS or not?? I dont know. I am very concerned for the children, and she refuses to address all issues and concerns, including the possibility both the boys may have AS, which also prevents them from receiving the therapies AS children need, especially in the teen years, the 12yr old already shows many signs of depression. What to do!!!!

Last edited by Kat41; 07-29-2011 at 01:54 PM.

 
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Old 07-29-2011, 08:09 PM   #2
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

In My Honest opinion as a mother...I'd have already called CPS. There are many issues with these children that need addressed and if your s/o gave up his rights by not showing up in court and the mother is not taking any action, not to mention some of the stuff she's allowing to happen. 7 yr olds do not have sleepovers with grown men and share their beds....I would definitely call CPS and report all this and have an investigation done. Now in saying that you have to consider that CPS will be investigating you guys too, they're going to investigate anyone who has access to these childrens....so you have to be prepared for that reality.

I also have a question, why has you s/o not been to a Dr. to get his Aspergers diagnosed? And yes I am familiar with it, it's a cruel disease as many are. The children definitely need tested because they are going to need many additional learning aids in school and I'm not sure how Canada works, but in the U.S. you have to have a dr.'s diagnosis in order to get your children special help.

So hang in there and do what you think is best for your family.

Kat

 
Old 07-29-2011, 08:23 PM   #3
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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In My Honest opinion as a mother...I'd have already called CPS. There are many issues with these children that need addressed and if your s/o gave up his rights by not showing up in court and the mother is not taking any action, not to mention some of the stuff she's allowing to happen. 7 yr olds do not have sleepovers with grown men and share their beds....I would definitely call CPS and report all this and have an investigation done. Now in saying that you have to consider that CPS will be investigating you guys too, they're going to investigate anyone who has access to these childrens....so you have to be prepared for that reality.

I also have a question, why has you s/o not been to a Dr. to get his Aspergers diagnosed? And yes I am familiar with it, it's a cruel disease as many are. The children definitely need tested because they are going to need many additional learning aids in school and I'm not sure how Canada works, but in the U.S. you have to have a dr.'s diagnosis in order to get your children special help.

So hang in there and do what you think is best for your family.

Kat
Thanks, my s/o has been tring to find a Dr to refer him, but they dont seem to care too much or what kind of effects its having on his kids being undiagnosed..we seen a Dr yesterday, and he said he will refer him..its basically a money issue..its 2000 to get a diagnosis here & frankly we do not have the funds..we both a house less then two years ago and barely manage. I feel if I stir the pot with this mother anymore..she will do who knows what..she has accused us of harassment, making threats etc etc..all emails we sent are very diplomatic..I re read them 100times and enure no You sentences are in there..you name it, I ensure the line is not crossed with her...when he emailed her about the youngest comments last week..she said well you are probably the ones filling his head with this sick inappropriate insinuations, as Ive said..my s/o is basically scared of her, scared he wont see his kids again, and scared she will move away..scared she will make it out to being all his fault again..so he just rather do nothing most times, as its just easier for him to deal with nothing. Ive been gently nudging him, b ut these things have to be done with his approval..which is not easy.. he is concerned..however still scared of what will happen..how she will make it about him.. I don't care about being investigated..recently I called CPS on my ex for bringing my kids around him pedophile brother, they also came here..it was fine. His ex is a chronic liar and uses whatever she can to gain sympathy from everyone, she is very sick..I advised him its time to call..we have asked her to assist too many times, do what you need to do...I believe he will..but again..baby steps or things will simply just fall apart..

Ps I did call CPS last week anonymously for advise, I told him they will help...if he dont call soon..I plan to.

Last edited by Kat41; 07-29-2011 at 08:24 PM.

 
Old 07-29-2011, 08:43 PM   #4
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

Good for you, someone has to think of the kids and whats best for them. I wish you well in this journey and hope that you are finally afforded some peace.

kat

 
Old 07-29-2011, 08:47 PM   #5
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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Good for you, someone has to think of the kids and whats best for them. I wish you well in this journey and hope that you are finally afforded some peace.

kat
Thanks one day I hope the same

 
Old 07-31-2011, 10:19 PM   #6
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

Kat41,

Okay I've done some research today about Canada, it's proximity to the U.S. and visas. First off does your current s/o have an international heath insurance card? Really this is just a fancy name for it. But if you do have it, that means your husband could travel outside of Canada to seek treatment and a proper diagnosis. I'm not very familiar with that part of the diagnosis. *s* you go to the States and see about getting him a DX so that he can receive the proper treatment, that will allow him to get on his feet. And take all the data his previous dr.'s have given you.

2nd If the ex wife do not stop threatening you via phone, texts, etc., I think you get my drift, then go back to court and let the judge know what is going on, let him decide who is wrong or right. And make it very clear to him Try to keep your emotions out of it just normal tangible turf. Threatening someone over the internet for basically any little thing can get you in legal trouble, due to new Homeland Securities laws. I they''ve been going at you like you say, you have more than enough evidence to put a court order on them, and at the same time I would ask for a date set to discuss visitation schedules.

But from this point on Kat, hold your head high, no tears in inappropriate places. Don't let anyone know your going through hell right now, I know its' extremely difficult, but this is a controllable situation, and your marriage can survive it, I daresay you might even survive it! *l*

I sincerely wish for your and your kids to come of this winners in the end. But it will be a long arduous journey, but you will survive and come out the other end, and as a much better mom, life mate and individual. I generally ignore any and all emails from my sons stepmother, as soon I see them I, I keep a file for for me, and I burn the rest. I am assembling one large collections of email threats, phone anything that he sends you or says to you, mark the date and time. Keep every little thing, record your phone messages with your child so that you have that piece also. And if it comes down to it and harassment doesn't stop simply have your s/o go to your local police station and say "I need to file a restraining order against my ex-wife but I"m not sure how, would you explain to me what I must do? Be very polite, play the victim card and don't feel bad about it because he deserves to be treated like a piece of scum under your feet, and you'll figure out that enough pretty quick. Just file all of your "evidence" in an EX box and save it for a rainy day when you might need it.

But please don't worry about losing your kids, they love you and they can see through their fathers eyes what kind of a man he really is, don't underestimate the power of children. *s* Also I pray that things improve with your stepchildren. It can be a very hard adjustment to be "odd man out" you know?

Please keep in touch, I'd love to know that are safe and doing okay.

Kathryn

Last edited by katlin09; 08-01-2011 at 08:02 AM. Reason: major spelling edits

 
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Old 07-31-2011, 10:59 PM   #7
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

Hi Kat,

First of all, thank you for being these kids voice, when they seem to not have one, and have not for a long time.

I have a few questions..what does the legal court order say about custody and parenting? Are they joint custody, single custody, custodial or non custodial parents? At any time if either parent feels the other parent is not providing proper care, support, housing or medical needs, the other parent can file for a temporary custody order, mediation and an assessment of the situation. Until things are sorted out, the children can be cared for at the non custodial parents home. Once things have been investigated, a new revised court order can be established, that protects the children from the neglect or lack of medical care that is being accused.

The fathe does have rights that he needs to have enforced. He needs to be made aware of those rights, and make use of his power to fight off this woman's poor choices.

Too many children fall through the cracks, because no one wants to stick theri neck out to help, until it becomes too late. It sounds like you are just the right person to help these kids, and we all have to thank you for that.

Good luck and keep in touch with us please!

Janet

 
Old 08-01-2011, 02:53 PM   #8
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
Kat41,

Okay I've done some research today about Canada, it's proximity to the U.S. and visas. First off does your current s/o have an international heath insurance card? Really this is just a fancy name for it. But if you do have it, that means your husband could travel outside of Canada to seek treatment and a proper diagnosis. I'm not very familiar with that part of the diagnosis. *s* you go to the States and see about getting him a DX so that he can receive the proper treatment, that will allow him to get on his feet. And take all the data his previous dr.'s have given you.

2nd If the ex wife do not stop threatening you via phone, texts, etc., I think you get my drift, then go back to court and let the judge know what is going on, let him decide who is wrong or right. And make it very clear to him Try to keep your emotions out of it just normal tangible turf. Threatening someone over the internet for basically any little thing can get you in legal trouble, due to new Homeland Securities laws. I they''ve been going at you like you say, you have more than enough evidence to put a court order on them, and at the same time I would ask for a date set to discuss visitation schedules.

But from this point on Kat, hold your head high, no tears in inappropriate places. Don't let anyone know your going through hell right now, I know its' extremely difficult, but this is a controllable situation, and your marriage can survive it, I daresay you might even survive it! *l*

I sincerely wish for your and your kids to come of this winners in the end. But it will be a long arduous journey, but you will survive and come out the other end, and as a much better mom, life mate and individual. I generally ignore any and all emails from my sons stepmother, as soon I see them I, I keep a file for for me, and I burn the rest. I am assembling one large collections of email threats, phone anything that he sends you or says to you, mark the date and time. Keep every little thing, record your phone messages with your child so that you have that piece also. And if it comes down to it and harassment doesn't stop simply have your s/o go to your local police station and say "I need to file a restraining order against my ex-wife but I"m not sure how, would you explain to me what I must do? Be very polite, play the victim card and don't feel bad about it because he deserves to be treated like a piece of scum under your feet, and you'll figure out that enough pretty quick. Just file all of your "evidence" in an EX box and save it for a rainy day when you might need it.

But please don't worry about losing your kids, they love you and they can see through their fathers eyes what kind of a man he really is, don't underestimate the power of children. *s* Also I pray that things improve with your stepchildren. It can be a very hard adjustment to be "odd man out" you know?

Please keep in touch, I'd love to know that are safe and doing okay.

Kathryn
Thanks so much again.,.no he does not have his passport, and although he grew up in Canada, he have never applied for his citizenship Problem with the mom..is she turns things around and insists whenever there is a concern expressed, that he/we are harassing/threatening her..she insists we/he get a lawyer, but its not possible..she doesn't have one either but implies with any email we sent that she is working on getting one..feels like a stall tactic. She works in the social service system, and knows many ppl , connections etc more so she knows the whole system and has often bragged in the past how she uses it to her advantage. She works everything to her advantage and becomes very aggressive when feeling challenged. She has painted my s/o as a terrible dad, and as he cant afford a lawyer, or represent himself as he is too meek..she just runs the show as she feels fit. My s/o cannot manage the stress of the drama. I told him I want to call CPS and will if he doesnt , however its been a cpl days and he hasnt replied to me; when I attempt to bring it up again..he withdraws and becomes non-communicative. I could sent you every email we have between us all, and they would look like the one below..see her reply and what we have to contend with..I still have fear of calling and not calling..I just really want to do the right thing, but also fear she will attack me as we have advised her I advocate and help him write emails..she has threatened a no contact order etc..however the emails we send are only ever as below..concerns for the children.

On Jul 27, 2011, at 10:45 PM

XXXX,
I have another issue I feel important to discuss, should you have a lawyer respond or not have a lawyer at this point, it is no longer my concern or an acceptable reason for delay in reply, my concerns are for the children.
Its been brought to my attention that XXXX has been spending periods of alone time at the residence of your ex boyfriend, without his siblings or you being present. I can offer understanding in one aspect only and that is the occasional 1-2hrs needed for a babysitter.
My current concern, what I fail to understand is any need for XXXX to have sleepovers at XXXX's house alone while you live just a few blocks away; especially when you and XXXX both drive, have vehicles and more so the fact that you two are no longer a couple.
Additionally my concern is about where XXXX sleeps while he stays at XXXX house. When asking XXXX where he sleeps during these sleepovers, XXXX advised he and XXXX shares a bed. For clarity he was asked again and he said they sleep in the same bed in XXXX room.
Even if this is perfectly innocent, it is still alarming to hear and highly inappropriate as he is an ex boyfriend of yours. No matter how close you wish to portray their relationship, this arrangement is simply just unacceptable!
I request a reply back in no more then one week re this concern, as well as my other concerns regarding XXXX as mentioned(re animal cruelty concern), your plans on what you will be doing to address XXXX leg pain due to possible heel cord leg strain( likely due to his toe walking) I also request you include replies re any psychological/educational delays/issues the children face as aforementioned in my previous emails to you., as well as your plans on how these concerns will be addressed re medical or with counseling.
Its my right as their father to see that these issues are addressed, and to have communications regarding my concerns re medical and educational responded to by who so ever has custody.
My goal going forward is to ensure the mental and physical well being of the children be addressed , as my many attempts to you appear to have been ignored and seemingly unaddressed as the custodial parent.
If you plan on retaining a lawyer to discuss all and any issues regarding the children., I would think other options would be more affordable as it will at least be another 12years before the children are all considered adults. At 250-300hr for a lawyer, seems like an unreasonable solution. Communication is essential, email is free.

Subject: Re: Concerns - Please reply in seven days
From:
Date: Thu, 28 Jul 2011 20:24:30 -0400
To:

Again I do not wish to speak to u or hear from you if u have anything to say to me say it through a lawyer as it relates to any concerns for the children
XXXX will be dropped off on Sunday evening as per the arrangements made previously
Read your copy of the court order as it relates to your capacity to make decisions for the children. I will not respond to such threatening emails giving me a deadline to respond to you. This is harassing behavior to say the least/ What do you intend to do in 7 days? Has a threatening undertone to it ! You know nothing of their lives with me you know of the couple days twice a month of the time they spend with you insinuating the things you have insinuated in this email is inappropriate and how am I to assume your not feeding these insinuations to my children outside of confirming visitation. Do not contact me further.

 
Old 08-01-2011, 03:09 PM   #9
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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Originally Posted by writeleft View Post
Hi Kat,

First of all, thank you for being these kids voice, when they seem to not have one, and have not for a long time.

I have a few questions..what does the legal court order say about custody and parenting? Are they joint custody, single custody, custodial or non custodial parents? At any time if either parent feels the other parent is not providing proper care, support, housing or medical needs, the other parent can file for a temporary custody order, mediation and an assessment of the situation. Until things are sorted out, the children can be cared for at the non custodial parents home. Once things have been investigated, a new revised court order can be established, that protects the children from the neglect or lack of medical care that is being accused.

The fathe does have rights that he needs to have enforced. He needs to be made aware of those rights, and make use of his power to fight off this woman's poor choices.

Too many children fall through the cracks, because no one wants to stick theri neck out to help, until it becomes too late. It sounds like you are just the right person to help these kids, and we all have to thank you for that.

Good luck and keep in touch with us please!

Janet
Thanks so much, he has access only, no custody..which is why she refuses to allow him any say, and even further to that any information at all. He does have rights..however he rather just not feel the stress with her..he loves his kids, however she is a monster as far as Im concerned and verbally emotionally abused my s/o for years. He is stable now, and manages well most days..however she is the one conversation that puts him back in hiding and withdrawal... check out my last reply..it will give you more insight
She stained his image as a father in court using his many hospital stays for depression and anxiety against him( the whole time calling him constantly to look after the kids) she even called him once and said she needed him to come take out the garbage( always saying,..well its mostly garbage from our kids so its your responsibility too..she did this crazy stuff all the time, even after we were together) and he would just go do it..I finally made him take a stand..and its been hell since with her. Her presence in court and this lack of being there just showed him as the unstable dad she hoped to show..(at the time of the court order, we were together and she moved in with her b/f, so as she didn't need anymore) so she did what she could to prove him unstable/court order 3yrs ago and his rights aside from access, were removed as he didn't go. He is now more stable then ever, however I feel its so difficult to fight her, it would be next to impossible to change a courts opinion.,especially when she always has medical issues she uses a a pity-play..starts crying and makes him look abusive..arg..its such a drama.

 
Old 08-01-2011, 05:22 PM   #10
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

the only way your going to get this settled between the 2 of them is to have your s/o go back to court, buck up, and reapply for custody rights. because as it stands right now he has no rights except to "see" the kids on certain days. And unfortunately since you 2 aren't married, you have no rights at all, and if you're sending those emails to her, she can claim them as harrassing and threatening.

Your s/o is going to have to act like the father his kids deserve to have, and do something about this current arrangement.

kat

 
Old 08-01-2011, 05:27 PM   #11
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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the only way your going to get this settled between the 2 of them is to have your s/o go back to court, buck up, and reapply for custody rights. because as it stands right now he has no rights except to "see" the kids on certain days. And unfortunately since you 2 aren't married, you have no rights at all, and if you're sending those emails to her, she can claim them as harrassing and threatening.

Your s/o is going to have to act like the father his kids deserve to have, and do something about this current arrangement.

kat
Thanks again

Im not sending the emails to her, he is..but she has been advised for bridging the communication gap ( as my s/o as a massive issue with this factor, we believe due to his AS) so I do I help him write the emails to ensure the concerns are being addressed...he sends them, not me.

 
Old 08-01-2011, 05:32 PM   #12
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

Unfortunately people can tell by the tone and wording of an email who actually sent it. I deal with this with my ex's wife all the time, his name may be at the bottom of the email, but it's very clear who wrote it.

Consider this, if your husband was to be ordered in a court of law or at an attorney's office to type an email, like the ones "he" usually does, would he be able to do it?

kat

 
Old 08-01-2011, 08:25 PM   #13
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

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Originally Posted by katlin09 View Post
Unfortunately people can tell by the tone and wording of an email who actually sent it. I deal with this with my ex's wife all the time, his name may be at the bottom of the email, but it's very clear who wrote it.

Consider this, if your husband was to be ordered in a court of law or at an attorney's office to type an email, like the ones "he" usually does, would he be able to do it?

kat
I understand your personal side to this concern, however I made many inquires about writing emails on his behalf..nothing is sent without him reading and approving what is written, I send it to his email, he sends it to her. What I am doing is called "advocating" , I do so on his behalf. The things he wishes to communicate regarding the children are written by myself for what ever concerns he may have. Its actually no different then helping someone cross a street with a sight issue, or giving someone sugar when they are diabetic...his need is one of communication...he is not good at it, I provide the assistance. For the record..its perfectly legal and acceptable for anyone to have an advocate, personal, paid or legal to write and or speak on anothers behalf.
In my s/o case, he has a disability 100%, his disability may yet be diagnosed, but its real. The communication issue he has is real, and he requires assistance, I assist him as well as attempt to assist his kids when I can as the email in my prior post, was it threatening really?? Did you find it offensive?? Sure the content was offensive, however its offensive only because of the situation and issues that are addressed are ignored by the C/M. God only knows what is going on when the seven yr old boy is sleeping at her ex b/f house in his bed..the issue is whats not gettin done, not who helps my s/o communicate. .
When my s/o went to court again last year with her, I advocated for him there as well, the duty counsel lawyer was more then accepting of this as assistance to my partner and allowed me to do all the negotiating for him, even though he was beside me and we are not married..its perfectly legal.
Im sorry of you are having issues with your ex and his g/f..dont we all have these issues really..what I am concerned about as well as my partner is getting any concerns addressed and looked into..the children do deserve the best assistance they can, especially if someone is more concerned about avoiding health issues just because they dont want to bother checking their kids out... they're two boys are very aspergers...its so obvious that I cant believe no one has done anything till now..and Im so concerned for them..that all..my s/o does the best he can do within his mental means to do so....what he cant do..is not his fault, and no one should be taken advantage of like that.
My ex also has a g/f, of coarse none of us get along, she also writes emails on behalf of my ex, do I have an issue, NO..I feel its perfectly ok as long as someone communicates with me regarding the children and Im happy to communicate back.
,

 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:45 PM   #14
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Re: Should Child Services be involved

I completely understand your need to advocate for your s/O, his condition's number one feature is the difficulty with communication to be difficult, and he deserves to have a voice, through whatever means he feels most understood. As you mention, in this case it is you, but there are others who have to go to other measures to find an appropriate 'voice" for them too.

I have found myself in the position as well, as a friend of a man dying of alcoholism. We were not in any relationship at all, but I needed to help him get medical attention, and I did. I simply had the time and energy to help him with all the paperwork, and take him to the doctors. He did eventually die within months, but it was in a clean bed, with a belly full of food, not in pain, and left this earth with dignity.

I admire you for the compassion you obviously have, and it is people like you who are the unsung hero's. I am here to support you in your efforts to give those children a fighting chance, and to ease the mind of your S/o. He must think of you as an angel. He really has his work cut out for him self, and thank you for helping him.

I will be following along to see what happens next. Whatever you do, do it from your heart and goodness will prevail.

Janet

 
Old 08-02-2011, 05:59 AM   #15
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Should Child Services be involved

Kat,

I wasn't trying to bring my personal issue to the scene...our problems are worlds apart. I'm just one of those people that will pick the problem apart and try to find any loophole that the other side might see. It's been trained into me *L* (I have a degree in computer science, am an accountant, and a Certified Paralegal) I'm just used to doing it, especially in any case where my kids might be involved. So, sorry if I came off as uncaring, that was not my intention.

With your husbands illness there has to be away to get a new court hearing, since it kept him from being at the first. But like you said, he's not DX'd yet. Is there a reason why he's not Diagnosed?

And just to be on the safe side and not give her any little thing to pick on, I'd have him write you a short sweet letter giving you permission to be his advocate, once again, just dotting i's and crossing t's.

During the original custody hearing or afterward, your husband never signed anything saying he waived his parental rights did he? And obviously I"m not sure of the exact laws in Canada, but if you called CPS and that got her riled up, could she then turn around and cause trouble for him because you guys are living together unmarried?

These are all the things that make it hard to know what to do, because you don't want to stir up the hornets nest, but you do want to make sure the kids are safe and being taken care of. And that whole having overnights with the exbf and sleeping in the same bed with him, just rubs me the wrong way....something not quite right there.

kat

 
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