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-   -   Petty Backstabbing (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/parenting-issues/863386-petty-backstabbing.html)

ambur 08-08-2011 10:37 PM

Petty Backstabbing
 
I left my husband in January and our divorce was final in June. We have a 14 month old son who currently spends sun, tues, and thurs with me and mon and wed with his father with every other weekend spent alternating.
My ex is very vindictive of my leaving still and last week while he was on vacation from work he went and had our son's first hair cut done. At first this didn't bother me too much when I found out on Saturday, but the more I think about it the more it is tearing me apart. He never even let me know when he was going to do this milestone in our son's life and it leaves me wondering what else he is going to exclude me from.
He is very childish (one reason we are no longer together) and I don't know how to get through to him that we need to stay neutral for our son and it is taking everything in me not to get back at him for this, I just am beside myself thinking about what else is going to happen in the future.

Any words of wisdom to get me over this situation?

katlin09 08-10-2011 07:10 AM

Re: Petty Backstabbing
 
ummm...it's a haircut??? You say your ex is vindictive, is there a chance your getting yourself worked up over this silly little thing so you can get back at him?

Honestly, you've got bigger things to worry about.

I got divorced a year ago also, after 23 years of marriage. My exhusband is also very angry and holding a grudge. But we have a 12 yr. old son to parent, our 21 yr old son is on his own.

I'll tell you very truthfully that it take NO TIME for these petty little things to get way our of control, and that's only going to hurt everyone involved, including your son! This is your new life, you need to adjust and get busy living it. Your ex-husband is allowed to enjoy milestones with your son also. You both will be getting to do and see things with your child that the other will be jealous over and wish they had done it. But you two need to act like grownups for the well being and happiness of your son. It's hard to be divorced when you have kids, especially little kids like you that are at a time in their life where everything is a milestone.

Count your self lucky, my ex married his girlfriend 2 days after our divorce was final, and when our son is with him, he calls her mamma! That just about drove me crazy until I realized that trying to do anything about it would only hurt my child.

Just remember you to have the next 17 years to work together for the benefit of your son, starting it out with pettiness, arguments and revenge is not the way to go!

Take care,

Kat


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