My wife and I have been married for 6 months and she has three children from a previous marriage, 17 girl, 15 boy, and an 8 girl. I have three children from a previous marriage, 25, 22 and 21 who don't live with us. So, its just my wife, her children and I living at home ( we bought the house 4 months ago). My wife's ex husband birthday is on November and last year her kids celebrated his birthday at the apartment where they lived. So, this morning I told my wife that I didn't think that it would be a good idea for her children to celebrate their father ( and my wife's ex) at home. I said that I would feel uncomfortable and that it would be an awkward situation. She didn't agree with me and she said that it was their children house too and that they had the right to invite whomever they wanted.
Was I wrong? am I being selfish? I just feel that since I am paying for the house, I should have the right to say who is welcomed and who is not.
when people break up it's hard, especially for kids. Do I think it's a good idea, no, but would I tell the kids they had no right to see their Dad on his birthday, no. If you feel that it is too much for you to handle, which I can see the problem, then I would maybe suggests a place of mutual ground. Maybe a park or restaurant? Also I can see some possible good in this....
As weird as it seems your new wife may just be trying to show her ex that youre a great guy. Some Dads are not too keen on new guys coming in on their old territory, mean I know you've got older kids, but would you want your little girls to have to sit with a man that they have to call dad and not know the guy? Plus it also gives you insight on why the kids may behave the way they do, meeting both parents is highly beneficial when building insight into a life.
I know it's weird, but if you feel like it's just too awkward, I'd just foot the bill at a nice place to eat.
Thanks for replying to my posting. I got a little lost in your response but I want to make clear that I have no problem with my wife's kids celebrating their dad's birthday, the issue I have is that they want to do it at my home.
They can certainly go to a restaurant or do it at their father's home, after all, they spend every other weekend with him, they can do it then.
Yeah sorry, I was falling asleep as I wrote that.... basically what I was getting at is that if they wish to celbrate his birthday, then they should. I mean hes the dad... what i meant before was that this may be his chance to get to know you as a person, that is if you havent already met or something.... but the big things is that this may also be a chance to see what their dad does ( so basically this might be your chance to understand your new family better) If you want to put your foot down about it, then I say do so, but at the same time be the bigger person and talk to the kids. They may have some input you looked past.... get what I mean?