My sons age 11 to 24 and I shower together when we camp, or use the cabana, we have always showered together at home when it was appropriate. I feel that boys need to be comfortable with men and each other as they will be in sports, away camps, the military and being naked with your peers and it should not be a phobic experience. In my case, from 11-24 we all have a penis, with varying sizes, and shapes and amounts of hair. The younger guys get a chance to see what they will look like as they mature, and ask questions amongst males they trust and love. Many of the boys get excited at the newness and get an erection, and we always say, well son ur becoming a man, what is happaning is normal, dont be ashamed. We all have a healthy respect for each other and no fears or shyness. If my son has a question about his sex organs he feels comfortable letting dad or big brother take a look and reassure him everything is ok.
My best friends son came to me with a question about a "thing" that appeared on his penis and he could not talk to his dad about it because of these sex fears. I asked my friend if he would give me permission to talk to the boy and take a look, and he said it was OK. The boy let me look and it was just a pimple. He felt so safe and so happy that he didnt have to go to the doctor and be fondled by an old nurse. He has showered with all of us at the beach and camping, so hes not phobic with my sons who are all his buddies. In short, dont make boys into shy little wimps. All kids will be curious, most will compare their penises in private, alot will even masturbate together, its all normal kids growing up, give them their space and their privacy and they will grow up healthy and happy boys. When you make the penis a forbidden object is when all the fears and phobias come into the scenario.
My best friends son came to me with a question about a "thing" that appeared on his penis and he could not talk to his dad about it because of these sex fears.
You had me until you got here. I disagree that it is OK for you to shower your children's friends. I can't see any parents allowing it (unless they were there as well). If the boy couldn't go to his father to ask a question, I find it odd that your friend gave you permission to look at his son's penis and to inspect this pimple. I would think that child's father would go to his son and try to talk to his son about what was bothering him.
Having respect and privacy with your body doesn't make boys into wimps.
"There's a big difference in playing the victim than in causing your own personal drama." -BK
I understand totally. The way children are shielded from anything concern nakedness, is ridiculous. When I was a youngster we would bathe with other children, male and female. We would go on camping trips and you would shower with an adult, regardless, to make sure you washed properly. As a parent, I have showered with other peoples sons, when appropriate, such as camping trips, local pool change rooms etc. For many of us it is a natural part of growing up.
I am guessing the "other" father has some "hang up" regarding sex, and was uncomfortable talking about PENISES with even his son. If anything the help and comfort provided that it was "just a pimple" would have done so much for the young boy.
The reference to the boys maybe being naked in the military is true. I saw many a young man who was embarrassed, and even ashamed to be naked in front of other men in the showers, as they had been brought up to believe it is wrong. Seriously?
I grew up a certain way, am comfortable with this and see no reason to change it.
Last edited by Administrator; 09-16-2012 at 11:20 AM.