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Old 06-01-2012, 04:41 AM   #1
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Question Bully/friends

I have an 11 yr old girl in the 5th grade and this yr has been rough with these girls in her class and the constant bickering and drama. I try to stay out of it for the most part and let her handle it, Since for the most part there has not been any major issues. However, There is one little girl that she has had arguments with since they were 5, she is a very smart little girl, but very odd and her parents are strange too, but I am friendly with them at school. In the past few yrs, we have talked in getting them to be friends. My daughter is a good kid, good student and never any issues, teachers say she is a great student, etc. But she is a kid and I know, she probably does stuff too. Anyway, her little friend has since visited our home many times and they get along really well, this kid listens well, she is polite. However, when they return to school, she goes back to her mean ways and treats my kid horrible. This has happened many many times. Especially in the warmer months, she calls non stop, we have a pool and I think she "uses" her for it.... She will spend the night and Monday morning, she will ignore my kid, she will be mean to her and tell her she is not included with the "popular kids". Its really starting to make me angry. She will come home and tell me how rude this kid was all day and at 3:30, she is calling wanting to come over. My little girl said she is fed up and no longer will talk to her, ph her back, etc. I am just confused on how to handle this. My husband says to stay out of it, but I cant help but feel mad at this kid, we have been wonderful to her, took her out to eat, family functions and fed her and she wants to act like my kid is scum come Monday. We have even been to school events and she has just ignored my daughter, will not speak to her , giggles at her and heck, she wont even speak to me! I told my husband that I was done, she is not welcome back here anymore, that she was a user, etc. What are your opinions??? Thanks

 
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Old 06-01-2012, 05:41 PM   #2
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Re: Bully/friends

I think you need to talk to your daughter about whether or not she wants to continue to let this girl hurt her feeling, and put up with it or not. Ultimatley it is up to her. Explain to her that she is NOT a real friend, and encourage her to follow her heart and make the decision on her own. Hopefully, she will make the right one, and lose her. I know your daughter probably loves that she is able to hang around with one of the so called "popular" girls, but I'm guessing this girl is ashamed of being associated with your daughter at school for some silly reason. Perhaps another girl in this brat's circle doesn't like your daughter, or makes petty judgements. Your daugther basically needs to say "no, you cannot come over, you are mean to me and I'm not going to be your friend if you can't be nice to me at school." She NEEDS to stick up for herself because once kids see they can get away with it, they will all start using her. God forbid in a few years they gang up on her and beat her up becasue they never liked her in the first place. This "friend" of hers seems just the type to do something like that, just to put on a show. I was in the same situation when I was in middle school. I know now, that had I just popped that brat once in the mouth, she would have left me alone. I hope that helps. Your daughter needs to see her worth and gain some confidence so she knows that she is to good to hang around people like that.

 
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Old 06-01-2012, 06:31 PM   #3
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Re: Bully/friends

Well, this little kids is not popular either, she is a little wanna be. There school is very small, only 20 kids in the class and only 1 5th grade. My daughter does not really fall into these clicks, she is just herself and has other friends that she is comfortable with, etc. She told me that she is just done with her using her, etc, but the day will come around that she says, well Mom, should I give her a second chance, etc/ I just dont know what to say? We have many times, but I just dont want her around anymore. My daughter is not the only one she has done this too either.

 
Old 06-01-2012, 06:32 PM   #4
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Re: Bully/friends

Also, my daughter has been voted most friendly in class, etc , she is a very kind, loyal kid.

 
Old 06-02-2012, 05:20 AM   #5
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Re: Bully/friends

Then you may have to just pull the mom card and say no. Let her know that you do not not like to see her get hurtn and keep them apart. OR, if it gets to the point they this girl really does want to be friends, talk to her yourself, and let her know that as long as she treats her nice then she can be around her, but the way she has treated your girl in the past is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Sometime it's good to step in to protect your baby. Your daughter probably does not have the heart to tell this girl how she really feels, expecially when she is standing right in front of her.

 
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