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TestyTess 04-17-2013 09:42 AM

Daughter 17 says she is Gay
Our daughter is 17 and going off to college in the fall. She has chosen an all-womens college near San Francisco. She is interested in gender studies. Can a 17 year old really know their true sexuality? She just seems so immature to me and I am trying to be supportive to her, but I am also confused. Any advice?

noevr 04-17-2013 11:24 AM

Re: Daughter 17 says she is Gay
Hi there, I know what you are going thru. When my son was 18 he told us he was gay even though I had my suspecions for several years I had found things on the computer.

I truly believe they do know their sexuality by this time. I'm a firm believer they are born with their sexuality, theres no changing it. I will admit I had a hard time at first but then learned to embrace it.

I knew if I didnt I wouldn't see him much and also I love him no matter what. He is now 27 and has turned out to be a wonderful person, well liked by all and very successful.

I know it may take some time for you to adjust, that's normal. I bought a book I believe, that helped me.

Good luck and just know it will all be alright, the more you support herr the more love and support you will receive back. Cathy

lenvegas 05-05-2013 11:59 AM

Re: Daughter 17 says she is Gay
Hi, yes seventeen is old enough to know ones sexual orientation but sometimes there is confusion as to orientation and young people may bounce from one gender to another to see what suits them best. A case in mind is actress Anne Heche who was Ellen Degeneres girlfriend from 1997 to 200o. In 2001 she married a man and had a son. These days in some circles it is avante garde chic to be gay not that it would cause someone to be gay but to anyone who is confused it may validate such feelings. Anyway it can be a complicated issue but I am sure in time she will sort it out..........

susan923 11-13-2014 01:28 PM

Re: Daughter 17 says she is Gay
I would not question her. If she feels it to be true, you should be supportive of her every step of the way. She will appreciate it more than you will ever know!

SilenceisKey 12-05-2014 04:21 PM

Re: Daughter 17 says she is Gay
I would take her at her word

It can be damaging to self esteem for a parent to disregard feelings as 'phases'.

At some point, she may realize that she is bisexual, and that will be okay too.

Sexuality is very complex, and humans are rarely 100% gay, straight or even bisexual. Often people will lean more toward a certain sex, but still have form of sexual or emotional attraction to the other.

The Kinsey Scale is a great example of how fluid sexuality really is.

My older sister came out to me as bisexual when she was 16, and then just two years later discovered that she is actually a lesbian. She is now happily married to a wonderful woman who loves her unconditionally.

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