My heart just breaks
Mom has been in a care facility since this past March. I was taking care of her 24/7 since August of 2007 up until then. After the first of this year, the rapid decline with her parkinsons began. I fed her, bathed her, brushed her teeth, and basicly did most everything for her. After awhile, she could no longer help me help her as far as transporting her from bed to wheel chair to toilet or tub. She also had a hard time swallowing and was frequently choking. I had her in the emergency room to have a piece of beef removed from her esophagus. After that incident, She was put on thickened liquids and a mechanically altered diet. She started to rapidly lose weight and went down from 110 to 85 lb. And she has been having tia strokes for the past year as well. I brought her into the care facility in March, and for a short while seemed to be doing some better. She has had 1 round of physical therapy, and now is on her 2nd round of therapy. She has gotten so weak. She can no longer hold her neck up anymore. She cannot speak very well anymore either. You cannot hear or understand what she is saying most of the time. In fact, she hardly speaks anymore. Her eyes are closed most of the time,too. If you ask her a question, she responds with a simple answer. She has dementia and is quite confused most of the time. I go to see her everyday for 2-3 hours a day. I feed her her supper there, too, quite often. At least then I can see how she is eating. And now, along with everything else, she is becoming quite agitated with me and everyone else. The other night, she was really confused and agitated and thought she was going to leave after dinner and go home, and I had to explain to her where her room was there, and that she needs to get stronger and really try with the physical therapy. ( all they can do with her in therapy, is move her legs and arms, and try to get her up with assistance.) When it was time for me to go home, I said good-bye, and that I love her,and I would see her again tomorrow. She said well I don't love you if you are going to act like this. I know she doesn't know what she is saying, but it still bothers me, I guess because I know this is just not her. I am afraid of losing her. So sorry this is so long, I guess I just needed to get this out!:(
Re: My heart just breaks
PD is a ugly disease. I have gone through that with my mother, and now my dad is
bedriden. I guess I am next.
I have found faith in God really helps, coupled with suport from others. It really helps to talk about it with others.
Stay strong, God bless you and keep you.
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