My Mother-Please Help? - Parkinson's Disease Message Board

Julie-K · 06-09-2003, 06:07 PM

My mother is 70 years old, she suffers from many health problems, enlarged heart from congestive heart failiure, pernicious anemia,hypo-thyroid, has had bladder cancer and was recently diagnosed with dietary diabetes(all of which are being treated).
My main concern though is her shaking hands, it started about 20 months ago with just a tremor in her right hand, now both her hands shake so badly she can't carry a cup without emptying it onto herself or the floor.
She often has a completely vacant look on her face and hardly ever blinks (that is so bad now the optometrist has given her drops to use 2x daily for dry eyes)
My mother is a very independent and domineering woman and although she is often confused, is most of the time very lucid, I mentioned Parkisons to her and asked her to talk to her Dr about it and she freaked completely!
I don't know if she freaked because she can't deal with the idea of yet another health problem or as she put it "That's an old persons disease-you aren't putting me in a home" I can't understand why her Dr hasn't noticed it himself or mentioned it.
I have no wish to ever put either of my parents in a home. In fact we moved closer to them so I could look after them, I do their housework and cook their meals each day. I would sort of like for them to have as much quality of life as possible though and don't know how to sort this out and maybe get treatment (if available) for her.
I can't speak to her Dr behind her back she would hate that and is quite paranoid about being put in a home (she put her parents in one and now feels really guilty about it)and would think I was organising it.
Sorry this is such a long post, but do you think this sounds like Parkinsons? And does anyone have any suggestions (dad won't talk to her Dr he too is frightened of her response)
Thank you in advance for any replies.
Jules

Bruce · 06-09-2003, 08:12 PM

Julie, you sound like a caring, loving daughter, and i share your mother's paranoia about nursing home. We all cherish our indpendence, and it is important that your mother knows how you feel about it.

I am not a doctor, but have been diagnosed with pd for 12 years. One thing that got my attention was the not blinking the eyes. This is common among pd patients.

Thier are many causes of tremor and it might take a movement disorder specialist to diagnose her.

One way to look at it is the anxiety of not knowing the cause of the tremors may be worse than having pd. Life goes on having pd. I can't walk without a walker, but i have six raised garden plots and take care of my self.

Bruce

Googy · 06-09-2003, 08:48 PM

Julie,

You are such a caring daughter.May I make a suggestion,Can you afford a little help.I have a N/A for three hrs per day.Bill has had PD for over 29 yrs.I can no longer take care of him, He is going into a nursing home.He also has dementia.Bruce gives the best advice. We always say see a MDS.They are the best.

Good Luck,

Googy

Julie-K · 06-10-2003, 12:31 AM

Dear Bruce and Googy

You are both so kind. Thank you so much for answering!I have promised mum I will never allow her or dad to go into a home, I love them both very much and would do anything to make them happy.
I am an only child so I feel very responsible for their care and well being (thankfully my husband feels the same way)
I am only 42 Googy so I don't have any problems with the housework and cooking (but when the time comes I do I will take your good advice and get a nursing aide)

I am always worrying about doing too much and taking away their independence, mum is very proud and every so often will say something like "don't touch my window boxes, I do them" she doesn't, so I sort of sneak and do them when she isn't looking.
Do you think I should risk her wrath and speak to her Dr about the PD? I'm thinking her list of ailments is so long he probably thinks it's the least of her worries. But I think if there is any treatment that will make her life more liveable it's worth a try!

I recently purchased a walker for mum Bruce (I gave it to her with great trepidation)but she loves it she says she likes the feeling of having something to "lean on" and is now getting out a lot more.

If you think I should speak to the doctor, I will ask him about a movement disorder specialist.

You can't know how much I appreciate your help, especially as you are both faced with bigger challenges of your own. You are both so kind.
Julie

Bruce · 06-10-2003, 07:38 AM

Julie, your question is a tough one. I thought after i posted that you might have a point that congestive heart failure and diabetes do seem worse then pd.

Your mother may not necessarily have pd. Pd usually affects one side of the body more then the other and i think you mentioned both hands had trermors.

I am not an expert on tremors, but it may not be as bad as your mother thinks. I don't feel i am qualified to tell you to call the doctor, but you could just mention the tremors and forget talking about pd. It is possible she may not have pd.

Bruce