Hey Blue, I am so glad I am not alone. I have been racking my brain with the exact same question. It tortures me that I don't know what or who I am. It also frustrates me. I also get confused about the Borderline as well because I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar disorder, so I struggle with wondering if I am doing something because I am Bipolar or because I am Bordrline? I am very confused a lot. My hubby tells me not to over analize and don't worry about it, but it is so hard not to. It is my identity I am talking about! Then I get confused and then wonder if I am confused because I am a Borderline. I wish there was an answer because I would like to know if I am just a walking disorder. I know I didn't answer your question because I have the same question, but you can know that you are not alone. I feel better knowing I am not the only one pondering those questions.
Give yourself a hudge pat on the back. My sister in law was diagnosed with a basic personality disorder-narcissistic. She doesn't believe the diagnoses and therefore doesn't get any help. I know she would be so much happier in her life if she would deal with her problems. It seems to me that if you know there is a problem, then you have taken the most important step in controling your illness instead of it controling you. Best of luck to you. when you are feeling down, remember this and give yourself that pat on the back. At least you know why you are feeling blue. This probably doesn't help too much, but I think you are a very brave and strong person! MMEC
it is really difficult to accept that there is something wrong some days i just ignore the fact that i cant do what everyone else does all the time. but i do it anyway and it all goes horribly wrong but then i learn that i have to take things slowly