I haven't been diagnosed with BPD although I think that I might have sometimes exhibited some of the behaviours when I have been very distressed (sorry about the technical words... I'm not sure how best to express this...)
Do post back if you want to, and I will try to help. I will be around off and on for a while...
Blue, I've just had another thought. I did an on line test for personality disorders, and I did come up quite high for BPD, although I was at the time reading some of the messages on another bb, and a lot of the people there who had depression scored high for borderline disorder, avoidant disorder, dependent disorder, and probably some others... I have also read that the PD's do overlap quite a bit... so if you want to, do post back, and I hope that I can help a bit... I'm only writing this additional message in case my original message sounded a bit offputting, although I don't expect it did (not that much anyway (lol) http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gifhttp://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gifhttp://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif
I certainly don't think that you are just your disorder, you're a wonderful caring person, and I'm sure that you will get through this (even though it might not sometimes feel that way when you are feeling particularly bad) http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
I also have sometimes felt that I didn't know where to start with working on my problems, and sometimes I still do feel that way. But the only thing to do, I guess, is to break down the really bad times into getting through the day hour by hour, and minute by minute, and going from there...
You've taught me a lot already, Blue, although we haven't known each other long. We can help each other get through this. And so can all the others on the boards...
[This message has been edited by Fuzzy Bear (edited 09-13-2002).]
You don't bore anyone here http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
It's not long since you left the therapeutic community. Hang in there, Blue, things will get better. Although I do know what you mean about therapy making you worse I think... it's as if it opens a can of worms... I don't really know what I'm talking about here, as I don't know what happened at the therapeutic community, but I do think that some types of therapy can sometimes make things seem worse before they get better. You will feel better Blue. I know that it might be hard to believe right now,
but you are a survivor, and you will get through this, and come out happy. When you get the right meds for you, you'll feel so much better...
We're here for you, Blue, we'll hold you up. Try to imagine warm arms around you, keeping you safe...
I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time
But I'm glad that I helped, cos believe me, I do understand http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
I hope that the therapy with your CPN goes well. It might just be me, but I don't think that there is (or should be!) any "wrong" way when you are having therapy... it's you and how you are feeling that is important.
I'm not doing too bad... I'm not seeing a therapist at the moment, but I'm seeing a Psychiatrist for meds who also does a bit of therapy for some people (I think that I mentioned that I have a friend who sees him every 2 weeks on the NHS...)
The Psych I am seeing is quite good and he doesn't mind if I ring him occasionally if I'm feeling particularly bad...
There isn't much therapy available on the NHS in my area for most people...
I'm thinking about seeing a therapist privately, but to be honest, my experience with my last therapist put me off a bit...
Let me know how you are getting on. I check the boards most days...
i am sorry you had a bad expierience with your last therapist but all the breeds of therapists are different lol sorry sometime i find it hard to see them as people its nicer to see them as fluffy puppies?
what area are you in i think it is quiet difficult to get therapy in sussex too thats why i am just having sessions with my CPN
but i hope things go well in your search for the perfect breed
thats ok i am sorry if you thought i was being nosey to ask?
mmmmmmmm i have therapy with my cpn tommorrow but i kinda go into the dittatched state where i havnt got a clue about anything and just sit there for an hour going
"i dont know"
"i dont know"
"i really dont know"
lol she must get so board of me. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif
my ex-fiance said he would take me back which is great and i was so scared of being rejected by hime even though when i was goin through a really bad patch i rejected him a million times or more mad or what.
i had a session with my labrador pup and it went really well i was in a really good space and for the first time in therapy i finally unraveled something i now understand a little why i never complete anything http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/idea.gif
and we decided before i did anything on impulse i was to do ABC
which sounded great till i went home and didnt do ABC and nearly ended up with stitches
i havnt told her what happened i am afraid she will be dissapointed
i have known my cpn for about a year and a half and she is a very kind puppy lol
i have the same problem as you when it comes to trusting people
do you not have a CMHT?
if you do then you should be able to get therapy with a member of your team?
i am seeing my dr next week and i should really tell him whats been going on but it is hard because my dr has recently changed so it the whole trust thing all over again know what i mean? http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif
do you have a good support network of friends and family?
My support network isn't that great, but I am working on it. Hubby is lovely, but I try not to bother him too much with my problems as he is very stressed at work. I am quite good at covering up how I am feeling most of the time, which helps him, but probably not me.
How is your support network? (not being nosey
Thanks for your reply, Blue. You are obviously knowledgeable as well as all your other great assets
sorry CMHT community mental health team
mine consists of my psychiatrist a dr under my psychiatrist my cpn and key worker (which is the same lady for me)a social worker (whom i never see)
and i think that about wraps it up
you should speak to your dr about getting a CMHT
your hubby sounds great i know what you mean about hiding your feelings so as not to upset or make someone you care for worry but you are also perfectly correct in saying it doesnt do you any good i really do think it is important that you get someone who you can talk to i know the trust thing is a problem but the sooner you get to know someone the sooner you can trust them and work through your haystack
my support network is the peoples above my mum and dad who are very good to me my boyfriend and 2 close friends although i rarley turn to any of them in a crisis as i 'dont want to bother them' even thought they wouldnt mind to be bothered so the ony person i actually take to about my problems is my cpn/key worker