missmoody

ok, its like this: i have a step daughter that is 7 years old. I dont want to post this in parenting because most of them there aren't borderlines. This is more like a Borderline issue. Well, I am looked down on by my inlaws and my hubby because I am not mother of the year to some other woman's kid. I don't have any childen. I always made sure I didn't bring a child into this world, being ill as I am. I wanted to wait until I got the sufficient amount of help for myself. This is the first marriage for both of us. We have been married almost 2 years. The problem is I get jealous of the kid because my hubby is giving her my attention and that angers me. It makes me feel like the girl is the "other woman." It angers me. I cringe at the sound of his daughter's name. I also get angry because my mom in law makes these stupid comments like,"Chris(my hubby) is going to lose his daughter if he doesn't spend more time with her." Those comments **** me off because they act like she's got it so bad. They know what kind of childhood I had and it insults me that they dramatize the child situation. Ok, they know I have serious problems and they blame me. I hate I can't be mother of the year, but I do what I can to survive and to my capabilities. Everyday life is a struggle for me as it is, and they add more and more stress by blaming me for being screwed up. I even feel guilty about posting my feelings about this situation becaus eof the backlash I am sure many will give me. People are so worried about the kids. Why the hell couldn't anyone worry about me when I was a kid and had real serious abuse going on? Noone cared but everyone is quick about protecting on stupid things. I had zero protection as a child and even now. Noone ever backs me up or is supportive, they just all blame me. So basically I am jealous of the affection his kid gets from his family and him and of the kid's childhood. I really need some coping skills or advice. Please no one respond to me in a mean way. I am very sensitive. I just need support, not torn down further.

Also, I have no contact with my family even though my dad died last month. My hubby has a fit if I even talk to a sibling on the phone. So, only interaction I get is with his family. His mom lives 20 mins away, my mom lives 30 mins away(10 mins from his mom). He doesn't even let me talk about my family. long for a momma and try to get his mom to be a momma to me but she is hot and cold type. I need a mom, but can't get one even though mine still lives.
Okay, I'll shut up. Thanks for listening.
missmoody