Don't know if this is the right board or not, but here goes...

[Amy42601]

Hello.

Usually, I've posted on the Depression board, but now I just don't know which board is the best one for me. In a nutshell, this is me:

I am irritable at the littlest thing, I get annoyed if my 20 month old son messes up what I've just cleaned, I feel like my family would be better off if I left, when I argue I can get completely irrational and I will purposely say hurtful and vicious things, I love my husband but a lot of the time wish he'd just go away, I'd rather live on my own with my son a lot of the time, when someone is hurt or crying (and this is really bad)-I think to myself why can't they just get over it and stop bloody crying. On the other hand, I can be really happy and chirpy sometimes.

Now-I'm on 20mg Prozac at present. My doctor is going to take me off it in February because she's convinced I'm post-natally depressed. I've had these feelings for some years now and she knows it. I don't feel like I've got your typical depression, but I don't have a clue what else it could be. Any insight is helpful. And thanks for reading...hope you all had a lovely Christmas.

Amy

If it helps or matters, I've just turned 33 but have been "annoyed" with my hubby for nearly 4 years now, and have pretty much preferred my own company since I was in my early 20's.

[blue cloud]

i get the same kind of thoughts and feelings and have been diagnosed with BPD but then a lot of people who are not BPD get these feelings too i guess it just comes down to how extream your mood changes are there is a very fine line between what drs think is 'normal' and what they think isnt. it is very hard

can you talk to your dr about your concerns? explain that you are worried about how you have been acting and feeling and maybe you can get some reassurance or maybe a medication change may help

hope i have been of some use if you have anymore questions dont hessitate to ask



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love and bubbles blue

[Treasures]

Amy, you have described me to a 'T'. I am 32, and been the same way, since my early twenties as well. I have two children, one 13 and one 6, and a hubby of 9 yrs. I get frustrated if ANYTHING is out of order. But to see my home, youd never know im a perfectionist. I make sure that everything is done by me, if not, id have to redo it anyway. I scream and loose my temper often, over piddly things, including the mouth of a sailor, probably ive got them beat. My mouth is awful!! I know at the time that I shouldnt say these things, and dont really truly mean them, most times anyway, yet I cant control it. Constantly lecturing, teaching, controlling, and always seem to be a bit on edge. Im not depressed by any means. I also find my controlling, overbearing behavior to disrupt alot of things. I also have contemplated divorce for more than 4 yrs, yet dont really prefer to be alone, yet love it when i am, and Ive always believed, I must have one man in order to rid myself of another lol. ALL WRONG YES I KNOW, yet that is my issue as well. I must laugh to keep from crying
your not alone