Is there something wrong with me? - Personality Disorder Message Board

icarus176 · 11-17-2002, 11:56 PM

Okay, here goes...I think I may have a bit of a peronality disorder but I don't know for sure. My problem is this: I'm 19 years old. I've never been in a real relationship before. For the most part I feel like I'm ready for one and have been ready for one for a long time. Here's where it gets tricky though...Everytime I go out with someone, I just end up feeling like "God I hope they don't call again." I've been like this for several years. So much so that my friends have recently all come to me to ask me why I make plans and then cancel them at the last second. Or I just won't call guys back ever and hope they fade away and forget about me before we get too close. I feel like I'm afraid that someone will get attached to me and I'll have to break it off with them. I think I may have issues with getting close to people. I base this on several things I have started to notice about myself. I don't think I am able to trust people and I don't know why. I don't like to talk about myself with other people about the way I think or what I like, and I can't even bring myself to say "I love you" to my parents. I hate saying it in fact. Is there something wrong with me? Am I incapable of love or even getting close to people? Do I need help for this? I'm worried because I don't want to go through life alone and I don't know how to fix this. Please anyone let me know if you have any insight.

blue cloud · 11-19-2002, 06:42 AM

hi from what i have read you sound quite similar to me with the relationship thing although i take it to the etream and shout at them and say really horrible things to get them to go away.

it is possible that you have BPD but there are lots of other factors to be considered if you type borderline personality disorder into the serch bar it should come up with the exact diagnosis

you should also make an appointment to see your dr to discuss your feelings with him

hope this helps

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love and bubbles blue

minwax209 · 12-06-2002, 08:37 PM

Wow. That's about all I can say. I was totally going to post something so similar, part of seemed word-for-word..I just wasnt sure where to post it. I feel like a total freak sometimes. I'm also 19 and I've never been in a relationship with a guy longer than it takes to get close to them. Then there's a point when I feel like I'm going to mentally suffocate. I can totally like the guy, but eventually I just want him to go away. Not even just in relationships, but I cant have people knowing too much about how I think or things like that. I cant even picture myself that close to someone. I get that weird suffocating feeling. I cant even tell anyone this b/c that cant know that much about me or something weird like that. It just makes me feel so alienated from people. I have no idea if this made any sense at all...but i thought i'd let ya know you're not alone!
jennifer