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Old 04-11-2003, 11:37 AM   #1
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hannie5 HB User
Angry borderline and outlaws?

I was diagnosed with Borderline about 2 years ago and I'm taking Effexor and Welbutrin together. My question is for anyone out there with this. Has anyone ever had controlling people such as inlaws (outlaws) that you just can't stand any longer? They want to interfere in all aspects of your new marriage. I don't know what else to do except go to 12-step groups, therapy, take meds, attend church and talk to my higher power which is God. The only things I haven't tried are A) a labotomy or B) to check myself into the nearest mental ward. This problem has slowly eaten away at my marriage. What do I do? I would like to feel "in love" again and I'm desperate.

[This message has been edited by hannie5 (edited 04-11-2003).]

 
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Old 04-11-2003, 05:25 PM   #2
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"What to do?" --A renowned Greek philosopher stated that the very real dilemma faced by a man was "What to do?"

Alternatives offered: "The only things I haven't tried are A) a lobotomy, or B) to check myself into the nearest mental ward."


"Good fences make good neighbors."


THE BORDER~LINE <=> BORDER~LAND CONDITION

Metaphorically considered, a lobotomy is a cutting off or dis-association of the pre-frontal lobe of thoughtful processes; while a mental ward is often-times a convenient barred-escape from an intrusive world in self-defense.

I suggest watching Shakespeare's "TITUS," a play recently made into a film as "The Classical Family Myth." Other examples would be: AMERICAN BEAUTY; and, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST.

In my readings and reseach I have learned that "border~line" means "some~thing akin" to a NO MAN'S LAND condition of family circumstance and situation.

The existential conflict is usually exemplified as a true or false pride of place; i.e., as a means of "controlling people"; i.e., as "in-laws and out-laws"; i.e., as defining circumstances and situations "that you just can't stand any longer"; i.e., as a dis-pairing "desperate-action"; i.e., as a recurring problem "about face and in self-defense."

"Familiarity breeds discontent."

When two differing familial states exist intrusively side by side there is a stretch of land existing between the two relative parties as a boundary-line, usually designated as a "no man’s land." I think of the designation as a "mind field" clearly or unclearly marked as a "no trespassing zone," a "mine field" relatively speaking, a clearing-barricade understood and designated as a "killing field."

In medieval fortresses of any family account there was a space designated well within the walls of the castle known as “The Castle Keep,” an offensive area designed as the narrow pass, or the eye of the camel, which was the ultimate in architecturally constructed self-defensive strategy, a narrowly defined killing field.

One of the more recent classical examples in The American Experience is Thomas Jefferson’s “Rotunda,” a high-ground, home-ground, defense-able parade ground at the University of Virginia.

Consider the "buffering" consequences of a "no man's land" for a moment; i.e., a "stand-off" condition "relatively" existing world-wide in many different race-place-space-locations. The "border-line" condition is not so much an individualized genetic-inherited state of mind, as an expressed condition of race being.

On an individual, family, or group level, a borderline "borderland" condition is all about offensively "defense-able space." Under consider-able observation, the "borderline" conditions are really learned behavioral orientations involving "con-'FRONT'-ational" circumstances and situations.

In reality, they are "offensive-defensive" games people learn to play as a militant condition relative to survival; i.e., the "no man's land" signaling to "Back Off!"

The hidden meaning in "borderline" exists as a condition of "invasion," as in "invasion of privacy," or "invasion of person," or "invasion of character," or "invasion of property"; e.g., "they want to interfere in all aspects of our marriage"..."I do not know what else to do except"...

ACCEPT: to appease others by attending organized correctional institutionalizations "in order"-"to conform" by any "relative means" necessary to "the expected status quo," of or as a "politically correct"-"behavioral orientation" on the behalf of the needs and feelings of others towards me and mine.

Thinking is allowed, and in all ways subject to change!

[This message has been edited by chiron (edited 04-13-2003).]

 
Old 04-14-2003, 07:39 PM   #3
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Hi Hannie

Be strong and take one issue at a time in your life... if your inlaws are driving you nuts, find activities that take you away from their accessibility, and don't be afraid to say, "we just want to have a quiet evening, alone tonight"... after a while, they'll get the hint.... as far as dealing with your condition, I think you've been doing that with your meds, keep it up... and try to creatively control your controlling inlaws.... wishing you the best and peace of mind.

ling

 
Old 04-16-2003, 11:50 PM   #4
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zuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB User
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Hi Hannie!
In spite of all the angst you are going through, one thing that seems to have remained in tact is your sense of humor!
There is something very important missing in your story, and, I suspect, part of the problem...
Where is your husband in all this? What is HIS "take" on his parents' interference? Does he support your feelings about them? Or is he being very passive? The real problem may be that yes, you have controlling inlaws but more importantly, that you are not getting any help from your husband with it. Am I wrong?
zuzu xx


 
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