a very confused teenager - Personality Disorder Message Board

dan30606 · 07-10-2003, 03:48 PM

I don't want to offend anyone,but i need some advice. I keep thinking i have a borderline personality because it explains the way i have bin for the past 3 years.Is This right? People become borderline because they didnt have a secure child hood.As a result of this, don't know how to deal with being an adult.What i relate to me is i always felt different when i was a kid.I never listened or beleived in anything my parents would tell me.I would look at the way they would live there life and not want to be anything like them.I never placed myself with my family(if that makes any sence).I felt more confatable and happy with my best freinds family.Being around them give me the confadants and reasurance i needed for me to be the way i wanted to be.I acted stupid and dum even thou I think i am quite intelligant,but all i was bothered about was being center of attention. if i were'nt i would get very jelious and would copy parts of that persons personality.I would then end up hating that person even if they were good mates.

It was coming to the end of school and everyone was deciding what to do next. I thought everything would go exactly as i planned but i has'nt.I become lost and confused.The things that made me, me had gone and i could'nt understand why i felt so different.

I always felt as if i needed other peoples presents to give me identity,and i still do now some times.Is this just a lack of self confadance? Or is the making of bpd?I find it very confusing because since leaving school i have blamed everyone and thing around me to explain my mess.I was jumping to stupid conclutions that only i would beleaive to be real.There was no one there to tell me how stupid i was being and get my mind of myself.I never listened to my parents at all and where i was so confused i never told any of my freinds. I bleived i should'nt be feeling this way and tried to keep up the same act i played at school.

After being in this mess for so long i begun to get very anixious(espcially out with people).I got depresed (because i didnt know what was wrong with me)and very selfcontuase.This all led to ocd.

Im still in a mess because i don't know what to think.I just carn't seem to get myself togeather.Im confused everything, what i want to do with my life and about who i really am.I go from one job to the next but carn't settle down witn one thing because my mind and mood change so much about who i am.I mean what is my problem? I know everyones got there own problems but can anyone please give me some advice and there veiws on me having a borderline personality disorder.

[This message has been edited by dan30606 (edited 07-14-2003).]

zuzu8 · 07-12-2003, 08:30 PM

Hi Dan-
No one here can really diagnose you for sure with Borerline Personality Disorder..Only a trained professional can do that....what is apparent however, is that you are definitely anxious and depressed. You may have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. There are so many names and sub-sets for different anxieties and behaviours.

What is sure is that you are unhappy and simple good will to "change" is too difficult to do without help. Why don't you find a therapist and start counseling of some kind. Either a psychiatrist (who is also an M.D.) or a therapist with a PHD. You might even want to look into someone who is trained in what they call Cognitive Behavioural Therapy....it worked for me. But of course everyone is different.

Therapy is amazing. You'd be surprised how much better you can start to feel just by being able to "unload" everything that's bothering you that you can't divulge to family or friends.

If you decide to seek help, make some appts. with a few DIFFERENT therapists and "shop" (yes, "interview" them!) for one you like and feel comfortable with. If you don't "click" with someone, don't think it's your problem. It doesn't matter why you don't care for a particular doc...you just need to feel that it's someone you can relax with and talk to freely. Someone you feel "gets" you.

It's not good to feel this unhappy...nor do you need to. Help is out there.

See someone...you won't regret it.

zuzu

[This message has been edited by zuzu8 (edited 07-20-2003).]

zuzu8 · 07-12-2003, 08:44 PM

Dan- Just saw your other post that said you already saw one therapist who didn't help. As I said, you can shop for a good one. I know it's time consuming but again, find someone who you feel understands where you're coming from and who gives you confidence that they can help you. Forget "labels" though....Borderline Personality Disorder is a VERY specific disorder, some symptoms of which mimic anxiety/ depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder/ impulse control/ manic depressive disorders, narcissism...lots of stuff crosses over into others....Don't label yourself.

And just because one doc wasn't right for you doesn't mean another won't be able to help.

I know how discouraging it must have been to finally get up the courage to actually SEE someone, only to discover they weren't working out for you .....Don't give up!

zuzu

[This message has been edited by zuzu8 (edited 07-20-2003).]