What do I do now? - Personality Disorder Message Board

txgirl22 · 07-10-2003, 11:38 PM

Hi,
I have thought that I've had BPD since I saw the movie and read the book, Girl, Interrupted. I have all the symptoms (extreme impulsiveness, unstable relationships, wreckless behaviour, bulimia, frequently going on shopping sprees...etc), what should I do now? Is there anything a therapist can do?
It's getting out of control...every relationship I'm in is love/hate, my eating disorder is raging, I've totalled 4 cars, and seem to get a unexplainable high from shopping...the list could go on forever.
HELP!

Carebear21 · 08-17-2003, 05:10 PM

I was diagnosed w/ BPD a few years ago. A therapist can definitely help you. One of my biggest problems is feeling abandoned. I often feel unimportant to others and am afraid to lose them but have come to the realization that they love me and this is something I need to work on. I have seen a definite improvement w/ my therapist. I too am impulsive and can be wreckless. I have also had unstable relationships. Luckily, I have been working hard and now have a much better relationship w/ my new boyfriend. It has helped me to explain BPD to him so he is more understanding and can work w/ me. I'm here for you.

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~Carebear21~

SusanGene · 08-17-2003, 05:35 PM

TxGirl, from what I've read about BPD you need to search for a Cognitive Therapist. I think my daughter has Borderline Disorder and Bipolar. She won't see anyone but I hope you do.

Best Wishes to You
Susan Gene

steve48 · 08-18-2003, 02:39 PM

Can any of you BPD please try and help me out. I was dating a BPD woman for a year and it was a rocky road but I fell for her in spite of it. The passion in her was unlike any one I was ever with in my life as well as the mood swings. I can't tell you how many trips were cancelled or plans broken because of her ups and downs. She broke up with me 4 months ago and up until the past 3 weeks has not given me the time of day when ever we bumped into one another which seems to be about once or twice a week. I started dating someone a month ago and it wasn't until my ex saw me out with her a few times that she began to be nice to me. My question to you all is when she broke up with me she put an ad on a dating website and has been in at the very least in 2 mini relationships that i know of and I am sure a lot of dating . When we see each other now I get the feeling like she wants to get back with me but since she broke it off and knowing I am seeing someone hasn't made a move or said anything and I can't bring myself to get rejected by saying anything to her as I keep thinking that she would say or do something to get me back.I still love her and I know she loves me. In the past we would break up and I would give her space and she would call me and apologize and say all the things that get me to go back , but not this time. can any of you explain to me the inner workings of a Borderline so that I can understand where she is at in her thoughts right now. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago and I emailed her a musical greeting that wished her a happy birthday and she emailed me back that it was very sweet and she appreciated it very much. I am confused and any guidance by anyone would be appreciated.

Pendy · 08-22-2003, 04:53 PM

This is just an opinion and some ideas from my perspective. I am either bipolar or BPD or both or something in between <grin>. I have had some very rocky relationships throughout my life. I say that just to give you an idea of where I am coming from.

If you are truly in love and feel that you do not want to live without this girl there are a few things you can do. But you have to be aware that with any relationship there is the possibility of rejection and unfortunately some of us "special" people can make things even more difficult.

I would have a serious talk with her about where you two want the relationship to go. If she is serious about it then talk about her seeing a therapist if she is not already. If she is BPD then medications can help. Even if she is on them now she may need to try a different combination. But you need to discuss this openly and let her know that this is one of the conditions that you require in order to start working on the relationship again.

Noone can tell you whether you should get back together or not. That is going to have to come from you. If you have misgivings about getting together again then you may just want to chalk it up to experience, stay friends and move on with your life.

I guess the crux of the whole thing is that if she is not taking steps to have her disorder treated then the odds are very good that you are going to wind up in the same place you are now, once again.

Good luck and follow your head as well as your heart.