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Old 08-18-2005, 12:34 PM   #1
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fiona09 HB User
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder?

Is there anyone else on here who has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder? I think I might have it.

I know I have OCD (diagnosed) among other things. But I'm also a perfectionist, workaholic, snobby tightwad. Ha! It's true, though. In fact, I realized today that I haven't bought clothes in over 3 years. All of my clothes are hand-me-downs from family members. I need clothes, but I can't bear to spend money.

I also hate hanging around people who I consider to be lazy, immoral, or whatever else. Lately I've gotten to where I can't even stand to be around my family because they don't act the way I would like them to act.

I am a hypochondriac too. I'm always thinking about myself--notice all the "I's" in this post. Not because I particularly love myself, but because I'm always trying to figure myself out. There's always something 'wrong' with me that I have to fix.

Spelling errors in E-mail, posts, or any kind of correspondence bug me, and I consider it stupid and careless. I've read on here that that's common with OCDP.

I feel 'pressured' to achieve career and monetary success, although my family tells me that they don't care what I do, as long as I'm happy. I'm not happy though, because there is always something more I need to be doing or achieving. (I've never really achieved much at all.) I have had no luck with the jobs I've gotten because I don't get along with people, and I don't know why. I've done well at my jobs, but I get fired as soon as I make a mistake--I think it's because I'm just not very likeable. I got fired from my last job because I was "too corporate-minded."

I have a list of about 50 things that I want to achieve before I die. I review the list every day. Needless to say, I lay awake at night with cold sweats and nightmares about dying. I make lists for everything, down to what outfits I'm going to wear for the next two months.

Although my life is great in most respects, there is always something I'm depressed about--mostly my job situation. I really think the only times I've felt genuinely happy are the times when I've felt successful and admired--which have been very few and far between. I am extremely anxious about what people think of me. My psychologist told me I had mild paranoia.

I can't say that I'm obsessive-compulsive about EVERYTHING in my life...sometimes (not often) the laundry goes a few days without getting done, and I have a hard time getting motivated to exercise. I am far from perfect! Can you have OCDP without being PERFECT?

I have severe anxiety, clinical depression, and possibly mild ADD as well.

I'd like to hear some opinions. Thanks.

 
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